After I was at Harry’s flat, he walked me home so I could get some rest. I had ‘Ronan’ on repeat; it wasn’t making things better for me. But it made me remember that he wasn’t the only one who died because of cancer. I ran upstairs to my room, quickly opening my bedside table draw and pulling out my black diary.
Dear Harry,
I saw you again today = Good
But today’s the day Jake died = Bad.
I have mixed emotions again, but I’m so glad to see you again. Maybe I should stop writing these? They’re really just obsessive, and besides we’re back in contact. I’ll decide that later, right now, I have to bake cookies for Gabby’s birthday! Whoops, I forgot to tell you. Maybe you’re still in sight. This is weird writing, I just realised that, I sound like a person who needs therapy.
Ok I’ll stop, bye.
I shoved my diary back in the draw and ran outside towards Harry, he was kicking a stone looking ahead of him with his hood and sunglasses on.
“Harry!” I called out to him
He turned around and ran towards me.
“What’s up?”
“Gabby, it’s her birthday tomorrow. Are you free? Now?”
“Yeah, I’ve got nothing to do, Liam’s out with Dani; Louis’ out with El, and Zayn and Niall are playing video games.”
I smiled brightly at him and we walked back to my house.
We decided on making choc-ship cookies once we arrived, basically because we had no other choice.
We spread out all the ingredients across the table and started cooking. Once we finally finished and the cookies were in the oven, I took Harry upstairs to my room.
“Harry, I’m going to take a shower, please, don’t destroy my room.”
He giggled while I walked into the bathroom locking the door.
HARRY’S POV:
I looked around Jessie’s room, it suited her so well. I remember playing on the small black couch that she still had, with all the pink pillows scattered around it. I couldn’t believe she still had it. Her walls we pink, but the 4th wall was basically a window, the area around it covered with photos. I looked at all the photos, of Jake, Jess, and I. I slid open her bedside table draw still looking around when I found a black diary. It had stickers on the front, and she had drawn some things on paper that she had stuck on the back. I opened it to find a letter, a letter to me?
The first page read
Dear Harry,
Thanks for leaving me hanging. And thanks for missing my birthday, much appreciated. It’s been 2 months and you still haven’t called or texted or Skype me. I’m going to start writing you notes, that you will not ever receive but still. I miss you.
I read through a lot of the little notes/letters, realising how much pain I caused her. She must have been shattered. I was disrupted by reading when I heard the bathroom door open, and everything went silent.
I tear fell from her eye as she fell to the floor. I can’t believe I just read her diary…
JESS’ POV:
I fell to the floor, I wasn’t mad at Harry for reading my diary, I was part embarrassed to be honest.
“Jess, Jess. I’m so sorry.” Harry said while running up to me and rubbing my back.
“Did, you read, them?” I asked softly, hoping for a ‘NO’
“Y-yes. I’ll be honest.” He replied
I immediately looked at him, he looked sad.
“Harry, why the hell are you sad?”
“Jess, reading the first few notes in your diary killed me. It made me realise how much pain I caused you, how sorry I am.”
“Wait… So, you don’t think I’m weird?”
“Not at all, it was your way of getting better. I respect that, and I’m so sorry, for everything I’ve done to you.”
I was actually kind of glad that Harry read my diary, if it was anyone else I would have flipped. He understands now, how much it hurt. So maybe he won’t do it again.
“I love you. Bessie Boo.” He said while wrapping his strong arms around me.
“I love you too. Hazzie Boo.” I replied while smiling back at him.
We got up and went to check on the cookies, they were ready so we took them out and let them cool before placing them in a box and leaving them on the kitchen counter ready for tomorrow.
We made our way to the sitting area in my house, and sat down on the couches. Watching TV.
“Do you want me to call the boys over for a movie night, I mean, it is almost 10pm.”
“Whatever you want.” I replied while watching him type on the phone, he looked so cute when he concentrated. Wait; no he doesn’t, what the hell am I doing? I can’t fall in love with my best friend. And besides, he doesn’t love me more than a friend.
Around 10 minutes later the boys piled into my flat, Louis came and sat on my lap. Probably breaking my bones.
“Louis! Get off!” I yelled playfully.
He obeyed and instead picked me up, placing me back down on his lap. I rolled my eyes and payed attention to the other boys choosing the movies.
“OH MY GOD! GUYS SHE HAS ORPHAN!” Zayn screamed.
“Uh, no, no. I’m sure there are other movies.”
Ok, I’ll be completely honest. I love horror movies and they don’t scare me. But Orphan…Shit got real. I mean, that’s creepy. She walks around killing people because she wants to be loved. Just tell them!
“C’mon, please?” Niall begged.
“Fine, but if I have nightmares, it’s on you guys.” I replied giving them the ‘stare’ that Esther would always give.
They all cheered and Niall slipped the DVD into the slot.
“Are you scaaaared?” Louis teased while pinching my cheek.
“I’m not scared; I’m just…Ok I’m scared. But she’s like an 8 year old who kills people! Evil I tell you, Evil.”
Louis laughed and we all continued watching the movie. It was up to the part where she was letting the little girl go down the hill in the car, obviously so she would die. At this point, I felt extremely tired and honestly couldn’t take it anymore. So I slowly slipped away into darkness, having the worst nightmare ever.
YOU ARE READING
You swore.
Fanfiction"We used to be best friends, but you just forgot about me, but i will never forget about you." Are the words Jessica Smith repeats everyday in her head. She faces the daily challenge of trying to forget her best friend, Harry Styles. It has just cro...
