I find myself stalking the corridor like some kind of crazy woman. Waiting... Desperately waiting to hear how he is.
I can't get the image of his terrified eyes out of my head. Those expressive orbs of dark chocolate loveliness, that have always held so much emotion, were blank and vacant . Charles wasn't in there.
"Any news?"
I dare to ask the first camo clad person I could find but no one seems to know anything. And if they do, they ain't sharing it with little old me.
"You shouldn't be here" Olivia barks as she spots me pacing once again.
"Not being funny, but I've got every right to be here. He needs me... he came looking for me"
I want to slap the sarcastic smile she responds with right off her face but it's not the time or the place for fisticuffs.
"He needs rest. He's been through an ordeal..he's lost men for fuck sake. And well, he doesn't need someone like you messing with his head again"
I'm half tempted to back down but I feel a fire in my belly and I hold on to the only thing I've got right now and that's the fact it was me he ran too. He came back to me"
"Listen here sweet cheeks. You might be the boss of this lot but you ain't the boss of me. Now scoot off and find someone else to shake your tits at"
She opens her mouth to retaliate but it's too late. Another pretty brunette surfaces and puts a stop to it before a dust up commences.
"Haven't you got soldiers to be looking after Harte?"
Harte. The name still burns when I hear it and an involuntary mortified/nervous laugh escapes my lips making me look like a lunatic.
She skulks off in the direction of Charles, my Charles who needs me. She's probably gonna piss up him like some ally cat marking her territory!
The thought of her with him makes my blood boil even more.
"I don't know what her problem is but I'm here for Charles James. I'm ..."
"Molly?" She interrupts. "I've heard so much about you. And don't worry about her... her barks worse than her bite. We're under pressure here that's all. Captain James is being assessed and treated then you can see him. He's been asking for you"
My heart feels warm knowing he still wants me. That it's me he needs despite everything I've put him through and I know now that I'll never make the same mistake again.
I smile back at the barer of good news.
"Thank you. And thanks for looking after him"
"Just doing my job. If you need me just shout. I'm Sergeant Lane. But you can call me Georgie"
She's a friendly face in a sea of strangers with a strangely calming aura about her, exactly what both Charles and I need.
I resume position in the world's most uncomfortable plastic chair and the nervous laughter boils over.
"Bleedin' everywhere you are, wanker" I say towards the sky, slightly suspicious that Elvis is absolutely loving this wherever he is. Bastard!
I mean, what are the chances? Of all the hospitals and all the ex's sisters, she had to be here.
I do have to wonder if this really is divine intervention or somethin'.
Maybe this is all a sign? A sign that I shouldn't have moved on or at least shouldn't be making plans to get back with his best mate. It's a big question I have to ask myself but then it dawns on me that Olivia Harte, one of most important women to be in Elvis' short life other than me and his mother doesn't even know who I am. So how important did that make me to the man I've cried and pined for? Was it all just a lie?
"If you come this way Molly, I'll take you to him"
My doubts over Elvis and what I meant to him have hacked into my worst character flaw of self-doubt and it feels like the only thing to do is run – like always.
I had moved on from that Molly for a period of time. I became a better version of myself with Charles by my side and I'm struggling to remember when I slipped back into old ways - Sometime during our time a part clearly.
Me Nan would tell me to cling to the chance of happiness... I know I deserve it but my gut tells me it's easier to be alone... less chance of getting hurt and let's face it, It would be easier to withdraw from this mess and go back to my simple life or maybe even start fresh somewhere new.
If that's what I'm going to choose then now would be the time to hot foot it out of here. I know he's being cared for and is in good hands and most importantly he's safe. And let's face it; with a face like his, it wouldn't take long for him to pick up someone else to ease his pain.
But I don't want someone else to fix him. I want it to be me who heals his heart and for him to heal mine. I want the life I was promised before I stupidly walked away from having it with him. I want the life Elvis never gave me.
How does it always come back to Elvis? Why do I still feel like his girl? He's dead and gone but very much still an influence over every aspect of my life.
The seeds of doubt I'm sowing for myself in my head are starting grow and battle with my heart.
Do I choose Charles or self-preservation?
I follow Georgie on autopilot through the ward full of his injured men being held and comforted by their loved ones and I want so badly to do the same for him but I'm so conflicted I could scream.
We approach closer to a private room and I see the unmistakable long legs that could only belong to him.
I see his face and he's searching me for a sign that it's gonna be alright and those Brown eyes bore into mine and there's no contest.
I choose to be happy. And I won't let Olivia Harte get in the way of that.
