Tally Marks

Chapter 13 - Behind the Tally Marks

Odin returned to his chambers and sat himself down before the hearth.  He was not really surprised when General Tyr joined him in his rooms, closing and bolting the door behind him.  "All-Father, I have never had reason to question your decisions with regards to anything.  How you governed our kingdom, fought your wars, or raised your sons.  But today, I'm asking myself how.  How did your son, Loki, wind up being the champion of Sakaar?  Unless, he didn't really die on the Dark World," Tyr said.  Odin sighed and signaled with a wave of his hand for his childhood friend and staunchest supporter to approach.  The old general sat down facing his king and waited for him to speak.  Odin heaved a long and tired sigh.

"Frigga was the love of my life.  She meant the world and more to me," Odin said.

"I know, old friend.  She was your wife and loyal counselor.  She gave you her unbiased and honest opinion at all times," Tyr answered.  Odin nodded.

"When she died... I felt a part of myself die with her.  I was a black void to the world and cared only that I had vengeance," Odin admitted.

"You didn't care who you had vengeance on," Tyr stated.  He knew he didn't need to ask a question.  Odin shook his head.  

"When we found Loki and I learned he was alive, I wanted... needed someone to bear the brunt of my anger.  I used Thor to find the names of all the victims from that Midgardian city, New York.  Once I had all the names, I devised the perfect torment for him.  I had my torturers say their names as they carved the tally marks into his skin," Odin explained.

"How many times did they have to do that? We don't scar easily," Tyr said.

"They lost count.  By the end, they said that he had all their names memorized.  That was before he apparently went dumb.  That was when I realized what I had done.  What I had done to my boy.  The one I had adopted and the one I had laid in Frigga's arms myself.  That was the difference between him and Thor.  Frigga placed Thor in my arms, but I placed Loki in hers.  If I had let him stay in Asgard, I would have been reminded of what I had done.  Whether I kept him in the healing ward, or placed him in his room; I would be reminded every day of what I had done.  I had to get rid of him," Odin said.  Tyr shuddered.  Odin shook his head and looked away.  "I know.  I am truly despicable, aren't I?"

"I can't lie to you, my king.  If I ever considered doing that to one of my children, I would want Thor's lightning to strike me down," Tyr admitted.

"I told the Grandmaster to give Loki to his brother, the Collector.  A rare Jotun would surely have stayed locked away forever, never to be seen again.  However, the Grandmaster apparently kept Loki for himself and reinvented him.  I saw it in his eyes... he did not recognize me or have any inkling who I was.  He stopped himself because as far as he knew, he didn't have a reason to kill me.  If he remembered, he would have done so and there would have been nothing you could have done to stop him," Odin said.

"Would you have let him kill you, my king?" Tyr posed and Odin glanced up at a wall, upon which hung a portrait of his dearly departed queen.  

"It would be a justice.  In public, I must be the hard faced, stone cold King of Asgard and All-Father.  In private, I can lament my sins and know there is nothing I can do to amend them," Odin stated.

"That is not true, Odin," Tyr responding, using Odin's name for the first time.  "Publicly declare Loptr as Loki, Prince of Asgard.  You might be able to cover some of what you did, but at least tell the people of your guilt and sorrow at your actions," his friend urged.  Odin shook his head.

"The people would only see that I had banished him and that I struck his name from the record for no reason.  There are plenty of nobles who never liked Loki, but the common folk were beside themselves when Thor told them how Loki sacrificed himself to avenge their queen.  They were unhappy that I stripped even Loki's memory of its title.  There would be a riot if I came out and admitted the truth," Odin said.  Tyr could understand where Odin was coming from; but at the same time, he knew the importance of such a confession from the All-Father.  "You must remember that the crown must show an infallible picture to the people.  This would not only affect my image personally, but the portrait I present as the All-Father.  I can apologize on the inside, but I could never vocalize it," Odin told his general.  And Tyr knew how stubborn Odin was.  There was no way Odin would never budge.

Brunhilde was rather surprised when Loptr appeared back in the room a couple of  hours after he left.  He seemed calmer now, but Brunhilde could still sense underlying anger.  It rippled off him like waves on the beach.  He avoided looking at her before he went to stand in front of the mirror.  "What happened?" Valkyrie finally asked.

"I took my anger out on those who deserved it.  I'll sleep better now," Loptr said in response.  That was before he turned around and laid down in the bed, ignoring her in favor of sleep.  Brunhilde frowned but she did not disturb him.  Instead, she slipped out of his room.