A drop in the ocean

Revalations

I couldn't stop thinking about Addelyn. She had disappeared again. She always did. I wondered why and where she went off. Realizing that she would have been mine and Alex's daughter just made me more curious where she was, but I somehow knew that she would come back.

She looked a lot like me, besides from the blond hair. I tried to not think to much about it. It was soon morning time and Alex would be waking up soon. I walked over to our bedroom. Watching Alex sleep peacefully.

It was the first time since my death that Alex slept well. It was kind of reassuring for me as well to know he was doing better. The sun were rising and I knew that Alex's alarm clock would be ringing soon. It was as if Alex knew that I returned to the bedroom. He turned around

"Clarissa?".

"Yes" I walk over to him. It was unusual to actually know that someone could hear me again, I was glad to not be an observer anymore.

"Just wanted to know you were still here" he smiled and closed his eyes again, savoring the last minutes before his alarm would go off. It took approximately 10 minutes before it did so. Alex woke quietly and got ready for work, it was good to see him getting back to his old routine. I wanted to tell Alex about Addelyn, but it wasn't easy.

First of all, how would you just drop something like that and especially when the messenger was a dead girl. Alex must've think he was about to go crazy, hearing my voice again, but he didn't show any sign of that. Yet. He did not exchange any words except 'bye' when he left. It was only me left in the apartment.

Even though I was starting to get the hang of transporting myself to another place it was still bizarre to me. I decided I wanted to see Anne again

Anne was sitting in her room. The blue navy color struck me every time. It was so beautiful. Her AC/DC poster still hanging in the ceiling and I could see that she had taped a picture on the bottom of one of the posters. It was new, but old at the same time.

It was our first photo together. She must've put there recently because the last time I was here, and also alive, it wasn't there. Anne's phone buzz and I hurried over to see what it was. It was a text from Alex

Alex:
It worked! I talked to her again and you won't believe what happened afterwards.

He was going to tell her that somehow me and Alex got connected last night and he could hear me. I suddenly feel very nauseous. This was the first time. It had never been like this. I could still feel emotions, but I never felt as if I were going to throw up before. Strange. I ignore the urge to vomit. Could I even if I tried? I didn't want to find out. I turn around facing the balcony and started walking that way.

I think some fresh air could help. I could still feel weather and stuff, but it wasn't the same feeling as when you were alive. It was as if all the heat, wind and rain all went right through you and devoured you. Once on the balcony I lean over the edge, at least I still could rest my, whatever my body was now; on something and not fall directly through it. I stand on Anne's balcony for a long time when suddenly I feel someone grab my arm.

"Mommy?" Addelyn was looking at me.

"Yes" I reply. I was glad she had returned again.

"Why can't daddy see me like you" Addelyn stood there with her eyes widened.

"Because, he's still alive" I didn't feel the need to tell some sort of a lie to her, I already knew that she knew far more than me when it came to the afterlife.

"I'm sorry you died mommy"  sadness took over her posture.

"Don't be" I said lowering myself to her height. She was so beautiful. I couldn't grasp my head around it.

"Why do you disappear all the time?" I decided to ask before she even could disappear again.

"I'm only trying to help you" Addie replied.

"Help me with what?" I ask curiously. What did she even mean by that?

"Your killer" the answer made me take two steps backwards. It startled Addie.

"It was jealousy" Addie replied and then she was gone again. It was jealousy. Was I killed because some sort of scheme. During the last couple of days I had completely forgotten about who actually had killed me, it was still an unanswered question.