A drop in the ocean

Remembering

I could not believe I was dead. The disfigured body was me. How could I not see that. The corpse resembled me so much but at the same time not at all. The hair that was stained with blood had darkened the hair to almost a black color. The eyes had lost every sign of life. The green eyes were paler than ever. How could I not remember being murdered? I look over my own body trying to remember, but I cannot. I try to remember the last thing before standing over my own corpse.

"I'm leaving babe" a dark voice said. It was Alex. I ran down the stairs in the apartment to kiss him goodbye.

"Do you really have to go?" I asked, trying to convince him to stay. I was supposed to go to a poetry reading with my friend Anne in an hour and had tried to convince him to join us.

"Yes I have to, you know that babe" he replied lowering himself to my height to kiss me.

"I really wish you could come, it's going to be boring without you" I whined.

"I know, but I can't disappoint my new boss, I'm really trying to impress him" he grabbed me in for a hug " I'm leaving now, but I will pick both you and Anne up after the poetry reading" he kissed my forehead and went towards to door.

Alex was four years older than me and had recently completed a degree in finances, he got a job as a stockbroker two weeks ago and ever since then tried to impress his new boss.

" I love you" I chimed.

"I love you too, Clarissa" he replied and shut the door behind him. He was the only one calling me Clarissa, most of my friends called me Claire. It was special when he called me that, he always said my name in a special way and I loved it.

I was about to put on my mascara when the door chimed. It was Anne.

"Are you ready love?" she said ironically. She always called me love, I never understood why.

"Yes, why darling" I reply equally as ironic. We both laugh at this before I continue applying my mascara.

"So how is it going with your assignment?" I asked Anne. We both went to college, but she majored in psychology while I majored in English.

"It's crap" she exclaimed "I have to write about introverts and extroverts, and how they interact with both each other and in different situations. Like this is the least interesting subject in our psychology class".

I laughed at this, she always said that subjects were boring, but I knew that in reality she really found them interesting.

"Do you think your poem is going to win tonight?" Anne asked not really caring for my answer. She didn't understand why I found it fun and interesting to write. The poetry reading tonight were  a contest where you could win 50 dollars.

"I don't care if I win or not" I replied sharply. I really didn't like to read my poems out loud but my professor had insisted that I should and had asked me to enter the contest.

I, after a couple of days of deliberating, had decided to enter the competition. I regret it now. It felt like my stomach was turning and I were about to vomit.

"We should go now" I said when I looked at the clock.

"Let's go love" Anne replied walking over to the door waiting for me.

It was very cold in New York being in late October. We walked over to the bar hosting the poetry reading. Since I hadn't turned 21 yet, I had to have a fake ID to get in. I would turn 21 in January, only two and half month from now.

The lights of the bar sign saying 'Joey's bar' beamed in red, blue and white colors. We went inside the bar. It wasn't that crowded, but enough to make me more nervous than I already was.

I greeted my professor that was applauding the student that just finished her poem. I turned over to the host.

"Hi, my name is Claire Hendrix, I am one of the poetry performers tonight" I said shakily. The host registered my nervousness and said

"don't get nervous, you're second to last, there will be 4 performers before you. Take a shot over at the bar to calm your nerves." I just nodded and went over to the bar ordering two shots for both me and Anne.

It was only one performer before me and I could feel me nerves again. I bought another shot. I downed it as quickly as the bartender gave it to me. I was beginning to feel a little tipsy. I walked over to Anne again whom were consumed by the poetry performer.

"I'm just going out for some fresh air" I said to her, she only nodded in response and returned to the despairing poetry that caught everyone's attention, but mine. Once outside I finally could breath. It was refreshing and I closed my eyes for a moment to collect myself. I opened my eyes and were about to go inside. I don't remember ever going inside.

I try to remember if I felt any pain, but I couldn't. Was I murdered outside of the bar? Then how did my body end up here, a mile away from the bar? How could people not have seen a girl being murdered right outside of a bar? My thoughts were cut off by a dark familiar voice. Alex were being handcuffed by the police officer. He were being lead into one of the cop cars. I followed leaving the horrific sight of my stabbed and bloody body.