Candle in the Dark (Tragic story #1)

Chapter 9: Conqueror

Present: "when you only have nothing after having nothing, actually."

Nababaliw na ngang talaga ako. Ilang beses ko na bang nasabi yan at lahat lahat pero nandito pa rin ako, tulala, pinagmamasdan ang tanawing natatanaw ko mula rito sa bintana ng ikalimang palapag ng building na ito.

Unti unting bumabalik ang mga alaalang hindi ko akalaing maaalala ko pa, mga memoryang matagal ko nang itinago at sana'y walang balak na hukayin pa. Mapait akong napangiti dahil roon.

Wearing this white hospital gown, having this milky white ceiling and flooring prove that I really am in a hospital. The fact that there were nurses earlier who were talking about me, becoming this worst, says it all.

Yes, I've recalled memories and regained my sanity but I'll tell you, it's been a week and until now, I'm asking myself how I end up here?

Kagagawan ba ni Tita Sanya o ni Kuya Timon?

Nawalan ba ako ng bait at nananakit na ng kapwa kaya pwersahan akong pinunta rito?

Did I volunteer myself because I have disorder and there's hope in me and I wanted to get rehabilitated and have a life again?

How did I end up here? As much as I wanted to be answered, I still have another week to wait for Tita Sanya.

The nurse gave her note, left for me, in case I wake up.

Tita Sanya: Iara, anak. Kung sakaling magbalik ka at wala ako dyan, hintayin mo ako. May tatapusin muna ang tiyahin mo sa kabilang bayan at pagkatapos, dadalaw ako sayong muli. Magpakatino ka hangang sa pagbalik ko! Pakiusap.

Based on her note, she's been visiting me from time to time. Maaaring alam ko ang tungkol dun pero hindi ko lang matandaan dahil wala ako sa katinuan.

I can't wait to see her.

"I have a question.." I suddenly murmured as the nurse who came in my room checked my vitals and was writing something on her record.

Bahagya siyang natigil sa pagsusulat. Mukhang dinig niya ang bulong ko.

"Yes?" She asked.

"I know I've been asking this question since the day I came back to reality and every time, you answered me you cannot give concrete answers.." I stopped for a while.

"But how did I end here? The last memory I remember is the death of my younger brother.. and.. " Again, I stopped for I recalled something as I tried to look back.

"And Achile.." My mind whispered but ignored it.

"I don't know why I'm here when I cannot remember anything that says I was crazy before and had disorder or something." Sambit ko para maiwasan ang bulong ng utak.

Nilapag ng nurse ang hawak na record. She cleared her voice before starting.

"Two years ago, you were admitted here. You were not crazy. You did not hurt anyone. You were harmless and fragile and very vulnerable that day. You look pale and your eyes were static but there was hatred inside. You were not even moving your fingers. You were like a living dead, like a lifeless robot."

Alright. What an intro! Am I that very emotive? So dramatic. Though, I remained silent the entire time.

"And I saw sunsets in your eyes. Darkness was there, consuming you, pushing the light away." The old nurse was serious and I could even tell that she's speaking the truth.

"That was how you look like. You made us all feel the power of emptiness. And we knew, and still knowing that you have it there deep and burried. But child, you woke up. You came back here now with us. With the real world."