Candle in the Dark (Tragic story #1)

Chapter 5: Never

Past: "Dream that lasted forever."

"Wow, you know how to solve that all?"

Manghang mangha ako habang pinapanuod siyang ginagawa ang lahat ng assignment ko sa physics at mathematics. He tried to explain everything to me but the subjects don't really want me to get it. He explained the second time and he made me answer it first. But I only got a zero point from him. Zero point, can you believe that? Nakakahiya sa kanya!

I watched him draft his formulas and solutions in my notebook and then finally came up with an answer. I was amazed by his knowledge about the two subjects. I watched him carefully and remembered all the things he taught me earlier.. pero sadyang wala akong maintindihan! Oh hopeless.

"Pag aralan mong mabuti ang formula na ginamit ko at ang pamamaraan para masolve ang question." He advised. He's done anwering problem number 9 and then he focused on number 10.

"You know I couldn't." Hopeless I responsed.

Pinagmasdan ko siyang mabuti habang seryosong nakatuon sa ginagawa. His grip on my pen screams expertise and intelligence. Hindi ko sukat akalaing maalam din pala siya pagdating sa mga ganitong bagay. Nakatitig ako sa kanya ng bigla ay tumingin siya sa akin. He caught me staring at him!

"It's because you wouldn't. Don't say you're out of knowledge about that. You are just refusing to know."

"You saw what happened when you let me solve it, right? I didn't only fail. I've got a zero point! Naka zero point pa rin ako kahit na ilang beses mong tinuro." nag iwas ako ng tingin at tinuon ang pansin sa librong hawak ko.

He let out a chuckle. I looked at him. Binalik ang hawak niyang libro sa gawi ko habang nakaturo sa page kung saan nandun ang mga formulas na tinutukoy niya.

"Then just memorize the whole procedures. The formulas, the questions and the step-by-step solutions. Hindi mo na kailangang intindihin iyun."

I cannot stop myself from admiring him with his advices. Tama nga naman siya. Isaulo na lang ang lahat at alalahanin iyun sa araw ng exam. Kaya lang, mas maganda pa rin kung naintindihan ko yun at baka magamit pa ito sa hinaharap.

"But still I want to understand it.." sa mahinang boses, sabi ko.

Mahina ako sa problem solving at sa lahat ng bagay na involve ang mga numero. Noon pa man. Hindi ko nga alam kung paanong nakakapasa pa rin ako. But if I recall the past, indeed there are parts of math that I can actually solve. Hmm, the radicals and rationals. Even up to now, I can solve any questions pertaining to it. And that's because I understand it clearly.

Ngayon kasi, statistics ang pinagtutuunan ng guro namin. Radius, mean, mode, and the likes. And I swear I can't help myself but give up. Maybe I need a lot of time for it.

"Then maybe we should spend time more. I'm going to teach you until you understand them all."

Nagulat ako sa sinabi niya. At bahagyang nakaramdam ng kung ano sa tiyan. That means.. we are going to see each other always? How about him.. is he not going to study too? Oo at 4th grading na namin. Pero pagkakaalam ko, finals na din nila.

"You know.. teaching you is a bit studying too." sambit niya, siguro ay nakita ang pag aalinlangan sa mga mata ko.

"I am not a fool! Magkaiba tayo ng subjects! College ka na, nasa High School pa lang ako."

"Graduating ka na. This march, you're not a High School anymore" he corrected me. Okay what's the connection in that?

Tumayo siya at nag unat ng kamay. My eyes then traveled to his body because of what he did. He's wearing an army green polo, paired with black slocks and black leather shoes. Ang sabi niya ay may role play daw sila sa Filipino subject niya kanina. Lawyer daw ang role niya, kaya sinabihan siyang mag damit ng formal.