Autumn [MYG]

죄송 해요

I woke up in the morning and one thing I felt was pain, I had a splitting headache. I got up to try to get water but I felt so dizzy. I laid back down on my bed, I glanced at my alarm clock and saw the time. It was past my first class but I really couldn't bring myself to move, my head was pounding. On top of classes, I had to meet up with Yoongki today but my phone was all the way on the other side of my apartment charging. I really had no choice, Hoseok wasn't even here. I don't even know where he went off too. I got up once again and forced myself to move.

Yesterday I came back late so I didn't bother going to my first class of the day. I felt so shitty, it wasn't even funny. My mind drifted off remembering what happened yesterday. 

Namjoon helped me find a job, although it took more than half an hour- I managed to get a job by calling the owner of a convenience store and also to a high school student parent who was finding a tutor for the child in math. I got both of them. 

I remember screaming in happiness, without Joon I probably wouldn't have gotten the job. The thing is, my first day was today for the convenience store job and I was sick. 

I made it to the other side of the room safely and grabbed my phone that was plugged in. I trudged back to the bed and laid down. My head pounded painfully, I made a mental prayer hoping that I would feel better by my night shift. The brightness of my phone blinded me when I turned it on. 

"Stupid phone" I muttered. I needed to call Yoongi to tell him that I wouldn't be able to make it to our usual lesson. I dialed his number and pressed the phone against my ear, I bit my lip. I hope answers, he has to. 

I waited patiently and I closed my eyes while the process went on for a few seconds, then the phone stopped dialing and his voice rang in my ear. "Hello?"

"Hey Yoongi," I said softly, I shifted over to my left shoulder "What's up?" he asked

"I won't be able to make it today for the lesson", I fidgeted with the hem of my blanket. "Oh, why?"

"I got sick and feel terrible"

"Have you gone to the doctor?", I bit my lip, usually, Hoseok would force me to go but he wasn't here "No..."
"You're supposed to take care of yourself, you are a musician after all. The audition is right around the corner so you can't afford to get sick anymore", I understood what he was telling me. What I needed the most was to practice but I was in no condition to practice.

"When I feel better, I will practice two times harder to make up for the time lost"

"I know you will, I trust you on that", I smiled "But... don't you have to work today? I remember Namjoon telling me that he got you a job yesterday and that you started today"

"Yeah I do, but I can't cancel it. I told the owner yesterday that I was going to make it"

"I guess you have no choice..." I let out a sigh "That's just life I guess"

"Take care of yourself Hazel"

"Yeah, thanks Yoongki", with that he hung up. I set up my alarm for the afternoon and fell asleep once again.

___________________________

I opened my eyes to the sound of the alarm, I groaned and turned off the blaring noise. I thought that if I slept for more time, that I would feel better but I still felt the same. I looked around and saw the kitchen light on, is Hoseok back home? I walked to the kitchen with much pain and entered. I saw Hoseok seated at the dining table looking blankly at the wall. 

"Hoseok?" I slowly walked towards him, his eyes shifted towards me. "Hazel..."

"What... happened?" I placed my hand on his and gazed at his eyes as I kneeled on the floor. "Did you forget Hazel? Today was my birthday"

My eyes widened, of course, it was February 18. How could I forget? 

"I-", my mouth parted in shock, Hoseok was crying. Tears glistened down cheeks, I'm such a bad friend...

"I'm so sorry Hoseok" I let go of his hand as I became nervous "I'm really sorry, I've been so busy that I forgot"

He stayed quiet, I officially broke his heart. I could no longer look at his eyes, I stared down at my feet. "How is it that you always forget about me? Don't you care for me?"

I gasped and looked at him in surprise "I do! You're my only friend in the world, you're my best friend, I am so sorry Hoseok". I grabbed his large hand and caressed the back of it. "I wouldn't be here without you, so please forgive me Hoseok"

He ripped his hand away from mine, "I always do but the same thing happens over and over again! Am I not enough for you?"

"Yes, you are!" I exclaimed as I got up, cold tears fell down my cheeks "Then why... why do you always need someone else? Why?"

I see... so this was about Yoongki

"I'm also a human Hoseok! I need other friends, not just you!", I clenched my hands tight. 

"Of course you do..." he wiped his cheeks with his green sleeves. "You always needed someone else" Hoseok got up from his chair and walked to the front door.

"But to me, you were the only person I needed"