Autumn [MYG]

구해줘

I let out a long sigh as I grabbed my wallet and shoved my phone in my back pocket. I hoped that wearing a sweatshirt was enough for the slight cold that was outside because at the moment, I didn't have any washed jackets. I ran down the stairs and headed towards the intersection, taking a right, I went to towards the train post. Luckily, the train hadn't left so I got in just by a few seconds. I grabbed onto a handle as the train began taking its leave. My head pounded, I was so tired even though I slept the entire day. In addition, the whole situation with Hoseok was leaving me emotionally drained.

How can I forget about his birthday?

I pulled out my phone and glanced at his phone number, was it possible that he could forgive me? He was the only friend I had, the closest person to me. For me, he played the role of a brother and father, so being without him was almost like I had an empty gap in my life. He took care of me when I was sick, he was by my side when I was sad and depressed when I debated in ending my life- he reassured me that there was something to live for. I hoped with all my heart that this problem we were in was soon gone. It's crazy that only an hour had passed and I was already missing him. 

The train stopped and the door slid open. I raced out of the station, I only had ten minutes left. Putting on my google maps, I followed wherever the directions took me. Soon enough I had made it to the location with three minutes to spare. I entered the convenience store and looked around, it was seven and the shop didn't have many customers. I went to the register and saw a young boy who looked my age. 

"Hello, I'm Moon Hazel and I start working today. Do you perhaps-" the guy cut me off "Yes, of course, the boss said that a recruit would be starting today"He stook out his hand "I'm Chu Yan, your co-worker and I'll help you settling down here today"

"Ah," I nodded my head "Thank you", on the counter, he placed a red shirt that said 7Eleven

"You have to wear this every time you come to work, if you don't you may get reprimanded by our boss. He's hard on the employees", I sighed and put on the shirt over mine. Taking the chance, I changed the bottom shirt under the other one. 

"Did you really have to change here?" Chu Yan raised an eyebrow "Oh please, I still had my shirt on, it's not like I stripped naked here"

He waved off my answer and shook his head "Anyways, you're allowed to be on your phone but obviously don't use it in front of the customer", he got out of the cashier place and I followed him around the store. "Every once in a while you might have to check if the food that is placed in the store is expired. But not all the time because the people who do the day shift usually take that responsibility. You're also allowed to eat here as long as you buy the food or bring your own. Of course, you can't forget that you're supposed to check the ID's of everyone who wants to buy alcohol or cigarettes", we made it back to the front after he showed where everything was placed in the store. 

"For now I'll be here with you in your shift, but after the third day I won't be here anymore", I nodded. I went to the cashier and stood behind it, "Is this your first time using a cashier?"

"No, I've used it before while in high school"

"Okay, I'll leave after a few minutes after you get yourself situated", I placed my phone on the counter.

For a long minute, everything was silent, so quiet that every time a minute passed my anxiety grew. It was already hard enough to go to college without getting an anxiety attack, but now work?

"Right Hazel, just calm down, everything is going to be okay" I reassured myself. Right, all that I have to do is charge money from some people and that's all. There's nothing too hard about that, well except for the talking and the part that people may be rude to me. I facepalmed myself and sighed, talking myself into this is harder than actually working.  The doorbell rang and a group of teenagers entered. They went to the chips and ice cream aisle, their loud voice echoed in the quiet room. I peeked at my phone, no messages from Hoseok, no calls either...

A loud thud awoke me from my thinking, a young girl had about 5 bags of chips and packets of ice cream placed on the check out area. I silently scanned the items and said "Its 20" I said mostly outspoken. She took out the money from her wallet while the other kids gathered around her. While the other kids were laughing, a boy came beside her and wrapped his left arm around her waist, giving her a kiss on her cheek. She let out a squeal but smiled, then gave me the money. 

I let out a sigh as the group left, how did Chu Yan do this every day? My head pounded when I sat down on a chair behind the register. For what was true, Chu Yan actually did stay a couple more minutes than what he said but he helped me organize the store while he was there. Then he left after telling me to hand the keys to the person who was working after my shift. 

It felt lonely, for sure, but I spent most of my time on my phone hearing music and singing some songs. Every so often people came and I had to, of course, attend to them. By then, my shift had finished and the other worker arrived. Before leaving, I was struck with an idea of buying Hoseok a small cake or cupcake, so I decided to pass by a bakery before I went home, however, I was skeptical if there were even any bakeries open at this time. I left around the middle of the night and headed to my apartment but since there was no available trains or buses at this time, I had to walk. I plugged in my headphones and crossed a street leading to a small park and packs of long apartments. I shoved my hands further into the pockets of my hoodie, the streets at night always pushed me over the edge. 

Even though it seemed like I was the only person out and about in the streets it felt like I was being watched. I entered the local market and headed straight towards the bakery section. I saw various of different sweets. I spotted a particular cake that stood out to me the most, even though it was big, it literally rang a bell in my mind. The green velvety cake was the one, I took it into my hands and went to get it paid. I left with a smile painted on my lips, I hoped desperately that Hoseok would forgive me. 

After a while of walking that it was getting harder for me to breathe, I put down the bag with the cake on the ground and leaned on the wall with my left shoulder. A wave of dizziness rushed passed me, if this keeps up I may get a panic attack too. 

Breathe Hazel

Breathe...

I kept telling myself to calm down but I wasn't getting better. I had to get to Hoseok, he was probably back home blaming himself for yelling at me earlier and he could still be angry with me. 

I had to get home soon.

I pushed myself off the wall slowly and grabbed the bag, I forced myself to walk a little more. I only had a bit more to get to the apartment. I took out my keys as I made a turn into the condominium, I stepped up the stairs with much trouble but managed to get in front of the door but the keys slipped through my fingers. I crouched down to pick them up, my head shook me and soon I couldn't see anything, an overwhelming sense of nauseousness caught up to me but it was too late once I noticed that I was about to fall down the stairs.

A scream escaped my lips, my adrenaline spiked and suddenly just when I was about to welcome pain, I felt myself fall into a soft cushion. My eyes were squeezed shut when I heard his voice.

"Hazel..." I opened my eyes slowly and saw a familiar face, his black hair fell loose on his forehead, his cat eyes searched my face with some worry and his strong hands held me tightly on my shoulders.

It was Min Yoongki