kpop oneshot//ff

Jeonghan (seventeen)

A/N the story is written in the point of view of Jeonghan

"I am sorry but I fell out of love a long time ago, it is time to leave." that is what I said when I left you behind. Were you broken? I can't remember. You always seemed so so happy, you loved me with all your heart, you trusted me with your dark past and secrets. You let me see parts of you nobody else had ever seen en nobody would have seen if it wasn't for me. You gave it all to me and I just left you behind like that. You were just a bit older than sixteen when I broke things off, I didn't want to keep your hopes up when I didn't love you.

I went back home, blocked your number but I could never get it over over my heart to delete the chat we had, it was always so magical. I really loved you in the beginning but my feelings disappeared at the moment yours was growing. You were also so sensitive when we talked about what would happen if we broke things off. You said you wouldn't be able to hold on with life, I was your lifeline, your angel, your happiness but all of my happiness faded when I gave to you. I needed to get my own happiness back. Was it selfish? I don't know, people say you should watch over yourself.

Years went by and I found a new love, he makes me happy in the way you never could. Yet again you were always on my mind. How are you now I broke things off? What would happen if I would search for new contact again? It was a feeling that nagged me and I never knew it was this bad. I searched for your online profiles again. I looked through it, you always seemed so happy in them. after we broke up you still had the same smile, it always was a fake one when you were with friends, I was the only one who made you smile that much wasn't I? I was able to let you smile for real, a genuine smile. It all faded away now didn't it?

When I was on your profile I found myself taking screenshots of every picture you had. I even went to your friend her account and saw you all smiling there. I took it so far that I cut her out and placed myself into it. Am I weird now? Or did I became the broken one? I texted your number asking if you wanted to meet up, but you never responded. I flew out to your country and went to your hair. An old woman opened the door, it was your mother wasn't it? She recognized me and took me to a grave.

It was your grave Y/N, you died... I never knew. I always thought you would be alive for me to see you again. Your mother says you did at the age of sixteen and a half. Two months after I left you, you had died. Your mother said that you were always so happy when you were with. Before you were with me you were always sad and after I left you, you had fallen back, didn't you? You became the broke figure I had saved in the beginning, I made you that broken figure again. Your mother said she saw you talking into thin air, talking to a person who wasn't there. You answered your own questions.

You were paranoid, depressed and anxious. Tormented by the memories of the things we never were, the things we could have been if I did love you, the kids we would have had and how they would have looked, I took it all away from you. Now I think of it, I left you int he time you needed me the most. You just graduated and needed someone to be at your side when you started the new chapter, oh how you wished I was there with you but now you aren't with me. I miss you at this moment but how long will it last? I don't know but at this moment I want you back.

After that your mother gave me a letter that you wrote for me, she found it the day before yesterday, it was the day that I had texted you. Did your ghost purposely let your mother find it? I don't know but not that I am reading through it, I noticed how the hardest parts of your letter were marked by tearstains. Are those because you were thinking of me? us? or the things I never let us became? You talked about how you had never smiled so bright and laughed so loud with me, you spoke about how you wished I had texted you but never did, you talked about how broken you were before. with and after everything with me. You never healed. 'but I was close Jeonghan, don't take it to yourself please.' it was what you said. If I stayed just a bit longer would you have still lived? or would you have ended up the same?