I kinda wish you were gay {Ashley x Reader}

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Y/n's pov
I was making my way home, feeling down as usual.
Today, Ash kissed Sals masked cheek multiple times, lucky bastard.

If only I was him.

That'll never happen.

***

I entered my room, feeling sadness drift over me.

At this point, all I could do is just suffer, because moving on is hard, especially when she means the world to me.

I looked over at my dresser to see my
Color/n guitar leaning on it.

I did feel like singing my feelings out, so I grabbed it, and strumed a few strings, hearing the soft sound of the guitar.

Baby I don't feel so good
six words
you never understood
I'll never let you go
Five words you'll never say

As the words drift away, I felt a sad frown go to my face.

I laugh alone like nothing's wrong
Four days has never felt so long
If three's a crowd and two was us
One slipped away

***
3rd person's POV
Ash was making her way to Todds room, which was right beside of y/n's.
She goes down the hallway, to only see Todd at the door, leaning against the wall.

"Hey Todd! What's up?" Ash asked, as Todd smiles.
"Listen.." Was all he said as Ash looked at him confused, until there was singing coming from behind y/n's door.

I just wanna make you feel okay
But all you do is look the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna say
I just kinda wish you were gay

Ash heard the words, smiling softly.
"Is that..y/n?" Ash asked, as Todd nods.

Is there a reason we're not through
Is there a 12 step just for you
Our conversations all in blue
11 'Heys'

Ten fingers tearing out my hair
Nine times you never made it there
I ate alone at seven you were six minutes away

Ash could hear that y/n was feeling upset in their voice, but she didn't wanna disturb their singing, since she may never know that y/n may not want attention while they're singing.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay
When all you do is walk the other way
I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay

To spare my pride
To give your lack of interest in an explanation
Don't say I'm not your type
Just say that I'm not your preffered sexual orientation
I'm so selfish
But you make me feel helpless
And I can't stand another day
Stand another day

There was a small silence, as y/n's breath hitched. A few tears slide down their flushed cheeks.

How am I supposed to make you feel okay
But all you do it look the other way..

I can't tell you how much I wish I didn't wanna stay
I just kinda wish you were gay
I just kinda wish you were gay

There was another silence as y/n stared out, feeling their heart ache.

I just kinda wish you were gay...

Y/n strums the strings one last time, before looking down at their guitar, letting a few tears drops fall onto the guitar.

Ash, who knew that y/n was okay at the moment, looked over at todd.
"Do you know what's wrong with them?" She asks, getting a nod from Todd. "They may have a crush, and it may be someone who's a very close friend."

It took a moment for her to realize what he had meant.
"D-Do they.." Ash couldn't finish as Todd nods.
"For a while now.. Maybe your should come out clean." Todd said as Ash looks away, blushing.
"I-I.. Can't.." She faced y/n's door.

"Yes you can. I know you've been waiting for this day, so go on and tell them.." Todd said, smiling.

Ash sighs, feel a bit more confident.
She knocks on y/n's door, hearing light shuffling.

The door opens to reveal y/n with a tear stained face.

"A-Ash?" their eyes sparked, but didn't last.
"Hey y-y/n." Ash stuttered.

"Shouldn't you be w-with Todd?" Y/n asked, as Ash looks over at Todd.
"Yes, but..." Ash pulls y/n inside her room, closing the door behind her.

Y/n looks at Ash, confused.
"Ash?"
Their voice caused Ash to pull y/n to her, hugging them.

"Y/n..I..I-I.." She couldn't say it.

"Ashley.. Are you alright?" Y/n asked as Ash looks down at them.

She let's go of y/n, but puts her hands on theirs.
"Y-y/n..I..I have a confession to make." Ash starts, grabbing y/n's attention.
Ash takes a deep breath, and let's it out before talking.

"I.. Have actually had feelings for you.. For the longest time. I didn't think I did for some time, but, your eyes, your smile, your voice, just makes me fall head over heals for you..
I really, really, really like you, well, I should of said I love you." She smiles softly.

Y/n's eyes light up, and fills with tears.
"H-hey, don't go crying on me, 'cause you will make me cry." Ash said as y/n smiles. "I-I didn't mean to its just.."
Their facehad a huge smile, which went down to a smaller one.

"I love you too.." Y/n said, as Ash smiles.
"I love you I love you I love you!" Y/n was just too happy that this day happened.

"I love you too! I love you so much!" Ash said, giggling at how happy y/n was.
Ash pulls y/n into a hug.

"Hey.. You have an amazing voice." Ash said as y/n started to have a flustered attack, leaving Ash laughing.

Bonus:
Todd was in his room, leaning his head on his wall to hear the two exchanging "I love you's"
He let's out a soft sigh.
"Where Neil when I need him?" He asked with a soft smile on his face.

______________________________

Oi, song is by Bille Ellish, which is really good ♡♡♡

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