Death of a Bachelor // brallon [Book 2 of Far Too Young To Die]

nine

Brendon didn't understand a word being exchanged during the ceremony. He can't think anymore, not after what just happened about six hours ago. He's been sitting alone while Dallon interacts. He's never felt a wedding go on this long, but he hasn't seen Lucy in a long time, so he decided to stay. He talked to a few people who know English, especially Lucy and Adam, and has silently participated in a few things with some children, but other than that, he has sat alone.

He stares and watches Dallon play with some children. He never thought he wanted kids, but seeing Dallon with them looks so perfect. He is so kind and patient and gentle. He's holding Lucy's newborn niece, Molly. Brendon tried to learn a bit of French but there has been no luck. What happens when you skip French class.

"I heard what happened," a voice cuts in through Brendon's thinking. Brendon turns and looks, then smiles shyly.

"I'm sorry, it's supposed to be your day and I'm probably bringing it down, huh?" he asks nervously. Lucy grabs his hands.

"He loves you, and I know you love him. Tell me what happened."

Brendon explains it all. How they've been married for almost exactly two years in secret, how no one else knows, how Spencer messaged him, how Ryan is in love with him, everything. But this time, he adds, "Your grandmother got him to admit that he is in love with me, and... I'm still in love with him. I don't wanna lose him, Lucy, but... I don't know, I'm scared."

"Well, if there is ever anything I can do, let me know, okay? I believe that everything will turn out alright. Believe what your heart believes," she says. He smiles.

"Thank you. I think I should leave, but congratulations to both of you. My advice is don't keep secrets. Even if it's something that happens between you and someone else, if there is any slight chance it could ruin things, then tell each other. If you fight, talk it through, and most importantly... trust each other and communicate with each other. You guys are gonna be perfectly fine," Brendon says as he stands. Lucy smiles and stands. They exchange hugs and goodbyes before Brendon begins to make his way towards the exit. He turns around just to look at Dallon once again.

Dallon is smiling and talking, but Brendon can read him so easily. He's scared, sad, and hurt, and so is Brendon. Brendon looks away, takes a deep breath, then leaves.

"Guess I was wrong," Brendon says quietly as he turns and walks away.

He doesn't know where he is going. He didn't pay attention to the ride here, so he opens google maps and puts in his destination. A few miles won't kill him. After everything today, a walk is just what he needs to clear his head, and so he begins his journey.

He watches time, people, and so many things pass as he walks. 5 pm turns into 9:30 surprisingly quickly and soon the sun is gone and the moon is shining. The only thing he is able to think about is Dallon. He physically cannot imagine Dallon and Ryan kissing. What would their ship name even be? Ryllon? It's dumb and would never work out. They hardly even know each other.

Brendon stuffs his hands into his pockets, jacket over his shoulder as he walks. Suddenly he is reminded of two years ago, when he left the hotel and took a walk to the convenience store to buy bandages and cigarettes, how he opened the motel door and Dallon hugged him and said how worried he was.

He remembers the first time Dallon held him at night. It was during the Vices tour after Brendon was having a really bad day and Dallon eventually made Brendon sleep with him, holding him close and not letting go even after he woke up. They thought the other was asleep so they let it continue.

Brendon eventually reaches the hotel but his heart is sinking more and more with anxiety. What does Ryan have that Brendon doesn't? Is he cuter? Is he nicer? Is he skinnier? Does he have a nicer voice? Is he quieter? Brendon can be quiet. He can be all of those things. Regret fills him immediately for eating at the wedding. He continues to think.

Is Ryan more comfortable to cuddle with? Is he better at sex? Is he a better kisser? Is he just better in general? Brendon can't figure out exactly what it is but when he is walking towards the hotel, he comes to the conclusion that he's just a horrible person and that he deserved this all. He wants to leave, but even then, how on earth do they explain this to Luke, Spencer, and Mike?

Brendon opens the door using his key card and Dallon stands up. Their eyes meet. Dallon looks terrified but now relieved.

"Where were you?" he asks nervously.

"I walked."

"Wh... the ceremony is like, 20 miles away!"

"It was 14."

"Still, you... come on, you should drink water and rest," Dallon says worriedly, hurrying to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Brendon takes his shoes off, feet aching and hurting like hell, but he doesn't sit. Sitting means talking, and he doesn't want to do that.

"I bought my plane ticket," Brendon announces. Dallon stops and Brendon hears the lack of glasses moving and clinking together. His heart sinks and he takes a deep breath.

"Oh?" Dallon says and suddenly he wishes he had just stayed silent.

"Yeah, on the way here, I-... I don't know, I don't expect you to care." Brendon walks to their room and grabs his suitcase. He never got around to unpacking. They got here, crashed from jet lag, woke up, fought, went to the wedding, and here they are.

Dallon takes a deep breath before he just starts crying again, desperately trying to calm himself the exact moment he hears Brendon's bitter comment. Him leaving is making it hard not to cry and the fact that Dallon knows simply by the tone behind his voice that Brendon doesn't actually want to leave is making it harder not to.

Brendon packs up the rest of his things quickly and zips the bags back up and picks them up. He stands up but Dallon blocks him just outside the doorway. They look at each other. The tension is so thick, you can hardly cut it with a knife.

Brendon steps to the side and Dallon copies him. He looks up in shock, then tries to step to the other side, but it's blocked again. Brendon tries pushing him, but Dallon stands his ground. Brendon stares at him with shock and disbelief, their eyes filling with tears as he tries to continue to push him away and helplessly hit his chest, only for it all to be blocked.

Dallon pulls him into a hug, only for Brendon to desperately try to fight back and push away.

"Go away," Brendon chokes out, but Dallon doesn't let go, no matter how much it emotionally and physically hurts.

"Brendon," Dallon manages quietly.

"Let go of me!"

"I'm not letting you go," Dallon says again. Brendon gasps and stops and begins to sob into his chest. Dallon doesn't let him go, just as he said, and their hearts both continue to break. Brendon has never experienced such heartbreak and anger, let alone in one day. He doesn't want to leave but nothing will ever be the same if they continued.

"I want to believe you," Brendon says shakily.

"I wanna believe you too," Dallon copies, and so Brendon pulls away. Dallon steps to the side and turns, back facing the wall, and Brendon walks past him. Once he gets his shoes on and reaches the door, Dallon says, "Can... can you just do one thing for me?"

Brendon looks at him, almost disgusted that he wants a favor.

"Text me when you get to the airport and when you get home? Just... just so I know you're safe?"

Brendon holds his breath for a moment, but nods. Dallon nods back, and next thing they know, the door is closing and their hearts are crushed.