The Girl Poet (Dead Poets Society)

Dead Poets Society Pt. 6

Life Right After

"if only I could have you back for just a little while Then we could sit and talk again just like we used to do you always meant so very much and always will do too"
~unkown

The day Knox came into her room without a smile on his face and tears in his eyes she knew almost instantly something was wrong. They had been friends for a long time and she knew no matter what they had an unspoken agreement to always smile when they could. He looked at her and the tears in his eyes strated to flow. "So I just got off the phone," he had started, the tears flowing even more. "And my folks just told me something that is going to kill you," at that she laughed, "ok what's got you all choked up and is going to kill me? Is it a joke? Cause I know your trying to make me feel better but I just need today and I'll be back to normal promise." She turned away from him and looked out the window, so absorbed in her own problems that she wasn't paying attention to the signs.

"Neil's dead."

Those three words stopped her world. She froze in her seat and breathed, rationalizing everything. "that's not funny." She said, seriousness and unstable rage coating each word like black tar.

"It's not a joke." He said, she sounded so close to breaking, like any second he would break, "I know you don't believe me but last night he killed himself. They found him on the floor of his dad's study, straight through the brain." He started to break.

She stood up and looked him dead in the eyes, and walked to him until they were right up to each other. There was no falter in him, to his knowledge he was telling the truth.

He couldn't be dead, was all she could think. She was visibily shaking her anger and disbelief mixed with everything else she was feeling in that moment. She felt nauseous, the room was spinning and the world was shaking. To her the world was about to end at that moment. She fell out of her chair and started to sob on the ground, in her heart she reached out for Neil but he wasn't there. (It should be noted that she can't actually do this it's just a thing she feels like she can do, it's not actually real). He was gone he was dead.

She almost threw up gagging on her sobs, but as she realized that he was gone her sadness seemed to be covered by a much stronger emotion.

Rage

She felt the sobs slow and the thought slipped into her head.

He left me

Knox who watched the whole thing play out could since the air change, but just as he had he couldn't, wouldn't intervene. She was too unstable right now and if he were to even move a muscle he knew it would cause a big frenzy and panic to settle over her and give her irrational dangerous ideas. This had happened before and he remembers the fear he felt in the moment similar to this one as well as the moment he found her bloody and almost dead.

She flew into a rage and started to beat the floors, then her bed, then the walls, desk, doors, and anything but Knox in that room. She only stopped when she was drained so much so that she couldn't feel anything. She contemplated the feeling and decided she prefers it to the loss and mix of emotions.

Knox could tell now he could move, now he could speak and not have to worry about danger.

"What are we going to do now?" He was loud considering the quite in the room.

"How many people know?" She sounded kinda hoarse and out of it, but he knew this was the best mind for her. Right after a mental break down or her acting on all her emotions she was in the best mindset, she was in her top form and the most sharpest person.

"The others know, well everyone but Todd, I knew I needed to tell you before we could tell him." She lazily looked over at him, then back to the window.

"Me and you, we are going to be strong for them. They might disagree but emotionally we are the strongest of the group. I might not seem that way, I know you all see that I get angry easily or I get upset easily but that was before. Neil broke the bottle a long time ago, the bottle I used to push down and repress the unwanted feelings but with him dead I feel like I just formed a new one. Knox, I know that some people will think that I am being over dramatic and I will get over this but I know that some of the boys won't. Todd is sensitive he will literally take on the feelings of others, I know because I do that too, I try to shoulder their pain so they don't have to feel it as much. It might sound crazy but I do. I'm not saying that you have to do this or feel for people on a whole different level, but I am saying that the next couple of days you are going to have to be there the most for them, we both are going to have to try and be the strongest so they can have their time. That might not seem fair to you but, we have to. I would do it alone but I don't think just me would be enough. Other than that, we have to keep a low profile, all of us do. I know Mr. Perry, I know that he won't ever see himself at fault and if we fuck up it's us on the chopping block. The hardest this that we are going to have to deal with also is Cameron, he's going to be threatened with the promise that we will be caught, so he's going to squeal. We have to keep him from doing so. We need to call an emergency meeting today or tomorrow. We'll make sure everyone knows what's expected of them." When she finished Knox couldn't see her face, but he knew that the switch that allowed her to feel was still flicked off, she was still numb.

"I understand, we're going to tell him right now, are you coming?" He asked already knowing the answer.

She shook her head and crossed her arms resting them on her knees, eyes never leaving the window. He nodded and said goodbye leaving her to herself and the room kinda wrecked.

She listened to the door click, and some tears started to rise in her eyes. She brushed them off and continued to watch the snow.

♪

Hello and here's the second promised chapter! Sorry it took longer than expected I kinda put it off. The next chapter will take place at the meeting she called!

I want to address the main character here for a bit and give some explanation to her but the chapter is actually running longer than usual. So I will tell the author to make a character sheet to go along with her next A/N, (Probably in part 10) so look forward to that! Anyways hope you enjoyed and all that. Show your appreciation and vote/comment!