Love is All That I Fear- Enoch O'Connor X Reader

Chapter 12- Empty

Y/N's POV

I woke up to the lights in my room blinding me. I rolled over and saw that I was still in all my clothes. All I remembered was crying, and wishing that I was in Enoch's arms.

I got up and changed into a new pair of clothes. I put on a pink dress and black flats. I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and made my way downstairs.

When I got there, everyone was already eating breakfast. Kaitlyn has saved a seat next to her for me, and I happily sat down.  There was chatter around me while I ate, but I stayed quiet.  It felt weird to be here.  There wasn't a small girl who needed to be strapped down to her seat, a boy who's bees were flying around, and no dark eyed boy glaring at everyone from the end of the table.  I missed Miss Peregrine's loop, it was my home.

After breakfast, everyone went in the library room.  Miss Nightjar was doing a math lesson for the kids, all at different lessons depending on their age. I sat in the back, daydreaming. All I could picture was Enoch running into the room and telling me we could be together. I knew it was impossible, but the stories in my mind made my just a little happier.

After we were done, there was still an hour until lunch. Kaitlyn and I went outside.  The cool breeze sent chills down me as I followed Kaitlyn through the yard. She started talking about her life, so I just stayed quiet and listened.

We got to a tree, and Kaitlyn sat down. I sat next to her, hugging my knees to my chest. She was talking about Daniel. Just hearing about them together made me think of Enoch. I felt tears burning in the back of my eyes, but I held it in. The more she talked, the more upset I got. I felt my throat close up, and I knew the moment I spoke the tears would spill out of my eyes.

"Y/N, are you ok?" Kaitlyn asked.

I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. I wasn't ok, but I didn't want her to worry, so I just fake smiled to her.

"Yeah, I'm alright," I said, my voice higher than usual.

Kaitlyn hugged me, and I broke. I felt the hot tears stream down my cheeks. My heart started to hurt. The more I thought of Enoch, the more I cried, and the more my heart ached. It got to the point where I wasn't sure if I was crying over Enoch, or if I was crying from the pain. I sat there, sobbing in Kaitlyn's arms. She didn't say anything, just sat there hugging me.

Enoch's POV

"Nochy, wake up," I heard a quiet voice say.

I groaned and rolled over.

"Nochy," the voice repeated.

I open my eyes and looked behind me. I saw Heather sitting up, softly tapping my arm. I couldn't help but smile. I sat up and hugged the small girl.

"Did you sleep better once you got in here?" I asked her, pushing her dark brown hair out of her face.

"Yeah," she said.

"That's good, come on let's get breakfast," I said, picking her up and walking out of my room.

Once we got there, I put her down in a seat. I sat next to her and started eating. No one was talking, mostly because everyone was still half asleep. Daniel came in a few minutes later and sat down next to me. I was happy I had him, I really hoped me and him would become friends.

"Oh no," I hear Heather mumble.

"What's wrong?" I turned and asked her.

She didn't even look at me, she just seemed to be staring into space. I saw tears form in her eyes, but she didn't even blink.

"Oh, she's just having a vision, she'll be alright," Daniel told me.

Heather's lip started quivering, more tears streaming down her face. I wrapped my arm around her, rubbing her shoulder with my thumb.

"It's ok, I'm right here," I quietly said to her.

Heather's POV

I hated it here.

There was nothing but black, besides the water on the ground. My feet splashed through it as I looked around.

A/N: If you watch Stranger Things, it's basically the place Eleven goes to when she puts on the blindfold, if you don't, then, idk, use your imagination.

What was I gonna see this time, if anything?

I heard crying. I turned around to see a tree, and two girls sitting under it. I walked closer, and sat down near the girls. A girl with brown hair was hugging the girl who was crying.

"I- I miss him s-so much," the one who was crying sobbed.

"I know, it's hard at first, it'll be ok," the one with the brown hair said.

I recognized her as Kaitlyn. I remember I got visions of her crying when Daniel first came to the loop.

"It's ok, I'm right here," I hear, echoing through my mind.

I reached out to touch the girls, but as I did, they faded away.

-

I closed my eyes for a moment, and then opened them. I was back at breakfast. I wiped the tears away from my cheeks and looked at Enoch.

"Are you ok?" he asks.

I nod, and continue eating breakfast. Although, I couldn't help but wonder who that girl was.

Y/N's POV

After a while of crying, I started to calm down. I wiped the tears from my eyes and got up.

"Where are you going?" Kaitlyn asked.

"Back to the house, I just need some time alone I think," I said, trying to smile.

"Oh ok, I hope you feel better," she said.

I walked back to the house and went directly to my room. I close and locked my door, and didn't bother turning the lights on. I sat down on my bed and looked around my room. I crawl under the covers in my bed and cry again. Hearing Kaitlyn's story made it worse. If it wasn't hard enough being far away from Enoch, I was worried he would break up with me, like Daniel did to Kaitlyn. I didn't want that to happen, although there's nothing I would be able to do to stop it.

My heart started to hurt again. I curled into a ball under the covers on my bed. I felt like I had no control over anything. I just wanted to go home, to go back in time. I wanted to be with Enoch. It wasn't fair. I should be able to love whoever I want.

I cried until I felt tired. I lied down and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

Enoch's POV

After breakfast I went back to my room. I missed Y/N. I started to feel tears in my eyes, and decided to just let it out. I sat at my desk with my head in my arms. At first, all I could do was sob. I could barely breathe, in between cries I was gasping for breath. Until my crying seemed to change. I was crying so hard no sound came out, and the tears stopped coming down my cheeks. It was like I felt numb. Not sad, not happy, just... empty. I look over at the knife that was sitting on my desk, then at my wrists.

Here we go again.

A/N: It feels like forever since I've wrote a chapter. I had some serious writer block, but now I have the rest of the story planned out in my head. There's also a slight chance I was procrastinating too, so yeah... sorry about that. And OMG 940 reads alsdkkxslkjfs thank you guys so much!!!!!!!!