Pov Camila I woke up early on Saturday. The clock ticked about 7 o'clock as I got used to the soft light that filled my room through the crevices of the shade. I could not sleep well that night thanks to the dreams that kept wandering through my head. I dreamed of my parents, still alive, lying next to me in the same bed where I now found myself. My father was fidgeting in my hair, and my mother caressed my belly, as I used to when I was little and had trouble sleeping. They both seemed to comfort me for some reason I did not know. I also dreamed about Lauren. I do not quite remember what it was, but I know it was her because, first, she was wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and second, my head now has the annoying craze to put it in my dreams every day. I allowed myself to nestle into my blanket and think of it. Not that I almost did not do it, but thinking about her was good, and I never seemed tired of remembering the face that tormented or gave light to my dreams. In fact, maybe that's why I could not not dream about her. I remembered what happened yesterday. It was so fast that when I found myself, we were already doing what we were doing. She had not stopped me this time. On the contrary, it even made me believe I wanted to, and judging from her eyes that wasted desire, even being clearly drunk, and by her not inconspicuous erection, she really wanted. That was the part that left me confused, because at the end of the night, I had the clear impression that she was trying to avoid me. The way Lauren left seemed like an escape. I did not know how right she was, but I felt incredibly frustrated, especially after everything that happened that night. It was she who had begun the seduction, something she had been vehemently refusing to do. I remember that I had to use enough of my self-control to not really show everything I felt for her. She did not know who had been the one who had given her the impression that she was not important, but she very much hoped she would not believe whatever she had been told. Well, maybe I did not know how to show her that she was important. But if so, I do not think she would stay in my room with me later. It was only when I asked her to get something that seemed to change inside her head, so she had to leave. I did not know why she did it. But whatever it was, it made me a little sadder than I should have. So I was sure I would not see her that weekend. That Saturday was tedious and unpleasant. I wish I had not gotten up so early in the day, so I'd have less time to listen to Samantha and Scarlet's questions about Lauren. "Do you think she'll come here today?" - No, why not? "Because I do not think so, Scarlet. Just for that. That was the reason, pure and simple, and I wanted her to stop talking about it, because it bothered me immensely to know that Lauren would not come, and even more, not understand why she wanted to stay away from me.- She paid for her week! Surely she must like you. "No, Samantha. She just has a weird protection with me. - All week, Mila! This is not protection. "If she liked me, she would want to be around." "Like she said she would, I thought. - She is not coming. I do not know how long they had in mind that ridiculous idea that Lauren might like me, but I wanted to get the thought out of them if I had to. I did not need nonsense in my own head giving me hope for later, breaking my face, and I was happy with myself for even considering the possibility that this was true. "I still think she's coming." Scarlet started. "Me too," Samantha finished, "and maybe take you somewhere." The two of them looked at each other and giggled like pre-teen girls talking about crush's, while I tried to ignore them, tidying up my room. - I wanted a Lauren for me. Scarlet said, clutching at one of the pillows as if he were somebody. "And who did not?" Samantha teased, dropping heavily on the bed. "Hey, you think she's going to get Mila a present?" Samantha seemed to see Santa in person. - Oh my God! Does she bring the gift in advance today? Their voices and laughter reached an octave audible only by dogs, and their excitement was getting on my nerves. Because I knew they were very excited for nothing, and I did not want them to cheer me up like that. SHE WILL NOT COME! I shouted, over my voice to their voices. Samantha and Scarlet stared at me in amazement, not smiling now, as an awkward silence settled in the room. I sighed, trying to stay calm. - Sorry. "All right," Samantha said, standing up and pulling Scarlet's arms from the pillow she still held tight. "You seem to want to be alone. Let's give you some privacy. "Do not be upset with me, please. I just do not want you to believe that. She is not coming. "We're not upset," Samantha said, and luckily I could believe her tone of voice. "But you should let yourself believe in miracles. Sometimes a little hope is the only thing we have left. Saying this, she left the room with Scarlet on her heels, leaving the door open. Maybe she was right. Maybe hope was the only thing I could count on, but I feared the size of the fall if I thought I could fly. Anyway, at the end of the day I could see that I was not totally wrong. She did not show up.*** - Let's go to the mall! The voice entered my room too quickly for my slow thinking as I set the book down on the bed and tried to identify who had just practically broken into my door. "Oh, I'm right here, Samantha. I'll join you the other day. "Mila, it was not a question. And there's no other day, I need to buy your gift. "You do not have to!" "Come on, Mila," Scarlet interrupted, entering the room as fast as Samantha. - Stop being discouraged, let's walk! - You will not buy anything for me! "Hey, you do not rule us. Now get up and get dressed. We're both ready, and you're holding up our happy Sunday schedule. - I really prefer ... - You have nothing to do here, Mila! I saw Samantha's discreet nudge on Scarlet's arm. I remembered how happy they were by yesterday, thinking that I would be visited by a certain person. Maybe I was feeling guilty because they thought they made me believe their daydreams, and in a way pleased me that that would not come up in our conversation today. - We can get a movie. "Yeah, there are some movies on the road that look cool. I think we all opted for a comedy, right? Scarlet asked. - Yes! Samantha answered by three. "Mila, we're still waiting for you here. Right. They would not leave me alone. "Okay. You buy the gifts I choose, right? "No choice in candy-cotton and refrigerator magnets. Let's give you real gifts! Damn it. They knew me. "Let's give you ten minutes to change, and if we go back and you're still in your pajamas, get ready for Scarlet Marie's fury." I caught the laughter with the image that came to me at the head of a tiny Scarlet making threats and giving me baby trunks. So, as ordered by Samantha and Scarlet, I went shopping early Sunday afternoon. I tried to choose cheap, unimportant gifts, claiming that '' a little souvenir was already good, '' but they vehemently refused to accept my attitude, and by the end of the day we were all three in line at the movies while I was carrying a couple of long black boots and an ivory leather bag. We saw a comedy with famous actors, and I do not know if it was my state of mind, but the movie was kind of bland. Even so, it was a useful distraction for me to get out of my head the only thing I had been thinking about since the beginning of that Sunday. She. Not that I had actually begun to believe in Samantha and Scarlet's illusions about Lauren, but I was still bothered by her attitude of running away from me. And what bothered me most was that I could not understand, no matter how hard I tried, what the hell had I done to make her act that way. It would be my birthday the next day, and it hurt to be pretty sure I would not see her. That she would not see me. It was even more acceptable that she had already forgotten this detail, but the worst of it was that, even if she still remembered, which I thought unlikely, she would avoid me, just as she did on Friday night.- Did you like the movie? - It's funny. I said, coming back from my daydreams. "Gee, you've been grumpy these past few days. Nothing pleases you! What happened? Should I really tell you what happened? Should I tell them that I'm in love with a client and that she seems to be avoiding me? - Anything. - I lied. - Liar! Scarlet shouted. "We're your friends, you can tell us." I knew they were my friends and I could count on them for advice or just to vent, but I did not want to tell the truth. Not now. "I must be in my astral hell, that's all." They obviously did not believe me, and filled me with questions all the way back to The Hills. Fortunately, they did not touch Lauren's, because I was sure if I heard her name, I'd give it all away. A short time later, we arrived. It was about nine o'clock, and I was not hungry. So I went straight to my room, wishing goodnight only to my two shopping mates, and locking myself there. Tomorrow I would have the day off. That was good, I would not need to go back to the routine. However, I knew that the next day I would have to resume my role. Lauren would not pay for another week of mine, I was sure, so I'd better settle for the idea. I took a long shower and lay down on the bed, waiting for sleep to arrive. It did not take long, and a few minutes later I was plunging into total darkness. A night without dreams. My first birthday present. *** Monday. I woke up around 9am. It took me a while to remember it was my birthday, and then, after noticing this detail, I decided to stay in bed for a while longer. Originally, my idea was to go out there and do nothing specific. I could not celebrate with my friends because they had to work. Although I could take the day off, it would not be the same for them. But then, I decided that maybe getting under the blanket listening to music seemed like a good thing to do while waiting for that day to pass. The day would not be very different from the others. Okay, I would not have to work which was pretty good, but other than that, I did not see the slightest difference. I noticed that some people felt a bit more important on the days of their birthdays, but it was never like that for me, and I always wondered why. It might be good to feel more important in a single day among the rest of the year. I pretended to continue sleeping even after the five times I heard knocking at my door and someone opening it to check to see if I had already woken up. I was not discouraged, but I did not want all the attention I knew I would receive the moment I set foot downstairs. Not that I did not like girls, but I just preferred to stay in mine. And after all, it was just my birthday. It was not like I had won the lottery or was getting married. But I could not go on pretending for the rest of the day, so at about 11:30 am I got up, took a shower and changed into a casual outfit. When I showed up in the kitchen, some girls who were there came to greet me, wishing me congratulations. I thanked them all truly glad, while I poured myself half a glass of grape juice. A few minutes later, there was only me, Scarlet and Samantha in the kitchen, gossiping about random matters. "Gee, you woke up too late!" We're almost at lunch! Scarlet started."Since it's my birthday today, we should have some celebration, right?" Why do not we have lunch together? - Hey, I like the idea! Is there somewhere in mind? Samantha asked. "No. You can help me decide. "I looked at the clock, which marked 12:15." They'll fix it, we'll leave in twenty minutes. " - Yeah, party! Scarlet exclaimed, jumping out of her chair and out of the kitchen, along with Samantha, and leaving me there alone. I stood there wondering what we could do while the night did not come and they were forced to go back to work. Scarlet would certainly suggest shopping, but since the anniversary was mine and I could give that excuse, we would all sit down, all three, on a park bench talking about our lives and having ice cream. "Mila ..." Samantha stepped back into the kitchen, still wearing the same clothes. - Hey, go get dressed! You're holding up my party! I said playfully. "I think you'd better go alone." I'm not feeling very well, and Scarlet has to do ... one thing. - IS. Scarlet nodded, her cheek brighter than usual. "What thing?" I asked, suspecting their attitude. "Do not be indiscreet. Now go! Samantha pulled me out of the chair as I tried to lean my purse on my shoulder. "But ... Are you going to let me go alone?" It's my birthday! - Yes let's go. You're going to get something interesting to do. Scarlet finished as she helped Samantha push me through the door that led to the back of The Hills. I was a bit annoyed by their attitude, but then they would have to explain the reason for it. At the moment, if I kept trying to stay inside The Hills, they would kick me into the street. I felt rejected and angry. I know, there was something they were hiding from me, but even so, they left me alone on my birthday! Being that I had invited them! Damn! I walked past the back door, deserted even at that hour, as I tried to shake off the rejection of my former best friends, then took a few steps down the sidewalk, staring at the floor, until I realized that I was not alone. I looked up and saw a woman with stubble of hair with her hands in her pocket, in casual clothes - boots, black pants and a black shirt of the band Metallica - leaning against a silver Porsche Cayenne, staring at me with a slight smile on her lips. Typical bad girl. I loved Lauren's style, she knew what to wear for every occasion. If I did not know her, I would say that a demon had just fallen in front of me. But I knew her. Not only did I know her but could not stop thinking about her during these last few days, I could not stop thinking about the fact that I would not see her on my birthday. So I felt an explosive joy when my brain processed the information that it was Lauren standing in front of me, smiling at me. "Hi." I spoke first, not knowing where I'd taken oxygen to say a word. "What are you doing here?" "You ask me that a lot. "Well, it's because you show up where I do not expect to find you. She smiled, quieter than she used to. "It's just that I could not miss seeing you today. She remembered. She remembered! I never thought she would remember! - I brought you two things. A birthday gift and keepsake. "You do not ..." "Do not you dare confuse the two. She interrupted me in a playful tone, opening the door of the Porsche and entering a little to get an envelope, handing me then. - This is the present. "I can not accept it. I said flatly. "You did not even see what it is!" "Never mind, you should not ..." She brought her hand to my mouth, gently covering it and making me stop talking. - Open. I stood very still, staring at her. If I were to act like an idiot by any move she'd made that day, maybe it would be better to go back inside The Hills and not see her any more. Finally, I came out of my state of inertia and opened the envelope.On my hand, several brand-pages of different sizes and colors fell, some with drawings and others with quotations. I could not help but open a broad, sincere smile, because it was the sweetest and most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me. The joy I took was greater than it should be. That gift was wonderful, not for what it really was, but for what it meant. Lauren showed a care and sensitivity that I could not imagine. She remembered that too, and I was extremely happy to know that she remembered this simple detail because it was related to me. - Thanks! It was the best gift! "Do not be a liar. She smiled, mocking her present. - I 'm not being! I loved it! You have no idea! - Okay, okay, I'll pretend to believe it. She winked at me and I felt my face boil. She must have been as red as a pepper, but she seemed to enjoy it, smiling still with my shame. "Now, the memory. Again, Lauren leaned into the Porsche and when she came back, she carried the largest bouquet of flowers I had ever seen in my life. It was even bigger than any bouquet of romance movies or anything. But what struck me most about him was not his size - even if it was scary - but the variety of flowers that were there. It was not a simple bouquet of roses, or daisies, or any specific flower, but rather of various kinds of it, one more colorful and more exotic than the other. "You said you did not have a favorite, so now you can choose." That's all I found at the flower shop. She said, handing me the gigantic bouquet. I moved to take it purely by instinct, because my shock would not allow me to think. "The seller gave me some names, you can associate them later." Saying this, he took a folded paper out of his back pocket and unfolded it, and began to read it - There it is: Hydrangea, Azalea, Orchid, Dahlia, Tulip, Geranium, Magnolia, Rose, Begonia, Camellia, Jasmin, Chrysanthemum, Carnation, Petunia, Glass of Milk, Violet, Sunflower ... Well, and others. You can read it later. Some are a little sensitive to this time of year, the seller kept them in certain special compartments, so I guess they will not last long. Many are missing, but I believe these are the easiest to find out. Lauren folded the paper again and placed it carefully inside the bouquet I held. As if waiting for a response from me, she stared at me with a little arched eyebrows, while I stood motionless looking at her. I just had no reaction. None. Because after receiving a gift from those, there is no way to have immediate reaction. So I was catatonic for a little while longer, and that must have bothered her a bit. "So you like it?" I could not speak, but by some miracle I managed to shake my head a little, showing him that yes, I had liked it. I had loved. It was the most beautiful and most amazingly lovely thing I had ever received. - How nice. She said, giving a shy smile, and I wanted to throw myself on top of her and kiss her in all visible parts. I was not visible either. Fortunately, I was still frozen in the same place, unable to do anything but stare at her like a girl completely in love. Everything was important, the present and the memory. Everything was unbelievably beautiful, and to tell the truth I had my convictions that if Lauren had given me a birthday gum, I would love it anyway.Everything she had given me was important and wonderful for the sensibility, for the meaning it is obviously because she gave me the gift. "Aham ..." I started, struggling to say something before she got angry and walked away from my lack of gratitude. "The present ... must have been kind of ... expensive." It must have been extremely expensive. A conventional bouquet of flowers was not cheap at all, which made me feel sure that a custom bouquet, especially one bearing sensitive, less common flowers, must have cost a lot of money. - Oh no. The bookmarks were for free. - She said, smiling again and making a face that once again reminded me not to confuse things, even if she knew exactly what I meant - Have you had lunch? - I? "I tried my voice, now making it firmer." No, I was going to have lunch with my friends, but they ... Did they see you here? "I walked in the front door and ran into Samantha and Scarlet. Then I asked for you and said that I would be waiting here. Well, that explained a lot. But she did not need to know that. - I was going out for lunch now. I did. "And where are they?" - I think they gave up. "I did not have a good enough excuse to invent. "Well, may I ask you to have lunch?" That's if you preferred a company, because there are people who would rather do these things alone. - I prefer your company. "I spoke with a little more intensity than I should have, which made her look away from me and look down, sighing. - I ... I'll be right back. I'll save my presents. - I'll be waiting. Leaving that phrase echo through my head like music, I headed back to the back door of The Hills. Before turning in, I turned and noticed that she was still staring at me. - Thanks. Same. Without waiting for a response from her, I hurried into the kitchen and hurried into the living room, wanting to get to my room as quickly as possible to leave the presents there. I wished very intimately that no one was in the room to see me carrying all those flowers. Obviously, my wish was not met, so I came across Samantha, Scarlet and the other girls chatting excitedly. When they noticed my presence, they looked at me with surprises, so I noticed that Samantha was starting to make the face of 'vi-Papai-Noel' again and ran before she could do or speak - or scream - anything. I took a jug that served as an ornament on the furniture in my room, filled it with water and put the flowers carefully inside, so they would not die or wilt until I was back. I also left the envelope with the bookmarks next to the bouquet and ran down. The three girls were still in the same place, in animated whispers, and when I returned to the living room only to go to the kitchen and back out again, I did not even look at them. Lauren, noticing my presence, got out of the car and opened the door for me. I walked in without speaking, still acting mechanically, then she closed the door and walked to her side, getting into the car soon after and starting. - Have you found which one you like best? He started, putting on his belt and moving the vehicle."No. You made me love them all." It will be impossible to choose one now. That was not the intention. You have to choose one. - I can not. "I particularly think that Camellias match you." - Because? "The petals are hypnotic perfection." She answered this by looking down the street as she drove, as if she had said something unimportant. Well, maybe it was not important to her anyway, but I was so overwhelmed by her little explanation that I had to restrain myself so I would not jump on her, certainly causing an accident. "There's a restaurant I know very well. Do you like French food? If I liked French food? How could I know? "Ah ..." "This restaurant is near my house, it specializes in French food. And you will not believe the wines there. I did not even know how to differentiate wines, and I had never tasted anything of French cuisine, but I knew enough to make sure everything was quite expensive, especially in specialty restaurants. Especially in restaurants that were located in the neighborhood where Lauren lived. Of course I had my savings. I got a decent amount of money from the programs, and I did not spend all the money on the mall - though, time and again, hanging out with Samantha has sparked my consumerism, making me spend more money than I owed on things like lingerie and dresses - but I knew that if I wanted to eat minimally well in a French restaurant, a good part of my savings would go away. Especially because I was starving. Besides, if there was something I did not need right now it was in some situation that made me feel incredibly inferior and out of place in relation to Lauren, so I preferred a meal that required at most three cutlery, a plate and a glass, and not all that mess of crockery, specific bowls and forks of three different sizes. "It's just ... I was not thinking about French food today. "And what did you have in mind?" She asked me, spying on me quickly as she turned her attention back to the street. - Uh ... Mc Donalds? - What? Is it your birthday, do you plan to celebrate in a Fast Food? - What's the problem? - The problem is that today is a special day, which requires special occasions. Besides, it's the celebration of another day of life, so I will not let you get any closer to death by helping to clog your arteries with all that fat. - Today is a day like any other. Every day someone celebrates their birthday, it does not make everyday special. "You're only celebrating a birthday one day, so today's special." So we're going to celebrate with French food. - We will not! "And why not, you stubborn one?" "Because I can not spend money on lunch." I should not be ashamed to take this to her, after all, it was natural to have less money than Lauren. But I was ashamed. "And what did you say you're going to pay?" - I'm saying! "If I remember correctly, I invited you." Then I pay. - What the fuck? You already know how much you spend with the flowers. "Hey, you want to let me do it right?" "Let's not go to this restaurant. - Okay, let's make a deal. We will eat at another restaurant, a less fancy - not the Mc Donalds - but this is on my own. I thought a little, analyzing the situation. - I choose the place? I asked hopefully. - Of course not. You do not know the good restaurants in my neighborhood, I know. - But all the places that you consider good are expensive! "I promise we'll be in a reasonable place." You will like. *** Fifteen minutes later, we arrived at a small and nice restaurant on the outside, but much more luxurious inside. I glared at Lauren as a young man guided us to a two-seater table. "You lied to me. I said as I sat down in front of him. "Believe me, it's a lot cheaper here. "Lauren ... I'm not dressed for such an occasion. I did. "Look at me, I'm wearing jeans, pants and blouses for a rock band. You think I'll call that? He laughed.When I had access to the menu and the prices, I realized that everything was very expensive, so I did not even want to think about the prices of anything that was served in the restaurant that I had vetoed. "If I may ..." She started, noticing my indecision and gently removing the menu from my hands. "I suggest Duck Magret with orange risotto, and Poires to Belle Hélêne for dessert. I was a bit mesmerized by the beak she was doing there and pronounced the words with an accent. "Are you hungry for French food?" "It's not easy, I just like it very much. - She smiled. - Right. Can I see something? I asked, trying to get the menu out of his hands. "Do you want to stop wanting to control the price?" You're going to make me look like a snob, but believe me when I say I can afford it. In fact, I could buy this whole restaurant. So, stop creating case. I sighed, nodding unwillingly. Lauren called the waiter and passed our orders. I ordered a soda and I received her protests, that I wanted to choose a special year's wine, but soon accepted my decision when I said I would only drink if she accompanied me, and how she was driving, that would not be possible. When the order arrived at our table, I tasted the exotic black, and as I had imagined, Lauren's suggestion had been perfect. I was starving, but still I restrained myself from resembling a hungry troglodyte in front of her, chewing slower than I used to be able to finish my meal after her. The dessert was equally good, and by the time my plate had been emptied, I felt satisfied. - Then? What do you think of my taste? I tried to respond immediately, without thinking about the double meaning that question had. - Very good. From now on I can accept your suggestions without blinking. I must take into consideration the fact that you are a culinary lover. - Perhaps. She said, smiling. - Do you cook? - Not now. I used to cook in the old days, but that has a lot of time. And they were not things like that, exotic or interesting. I did a lot of the basics. Any specialty? "Well ... It's no big deal, but my mother taught me a trick to make rice pudding look even better. She always complimented me when I did, but that does not mean much. - It's my favorite candy. Lauren spoke in a simple, smiling way. "Am I going to prove your income someday?" I stared at her for a while, just admiring her, and I did not know whether I had uttered the answer aloud or whether I was just rambling. If it's up to me, you can sample my recipe every day. Lauren stared back at me with a shy smile on her lips, but something inside her seemed to have been triggered, causing her to suddenly become serious and to take her gaze away from mine. It was not the first time she'd done this, and I wondered why. Looking sideways, she called the waiter and paid for lunch, not allowing me to know how much it had been. We left the place for the silver Porsche on the other side of the sidewalk. "Well, I have to go. I'll take you back to The Hills. - Said, opening the car door for me. - No ... I'm only going back there at night, but if you leave me around I thank you. I sat up, but she kept holding the door open.Is it any shortcut? - No, it's a way. I'll take you somewhere. - She replied, still serious, looking forward. "But you did not say you had to go?" - Said. She did not give me any more explanation, and I did not ask. It was quite clear that she did not want to talk, so we were silent for about half an hour all the way to the mysterious place. When we finally arrived, Lauren parked the car in some sort of parking lot where a few other cars were, too. I went out and noticed that there was not much else to be seen around here: A fairly large parking lot ahead of us, a wide space of cut grass disappearing into a kind of precipice. I should have had more after that descent, but I could not see. - Let's go? She asked, heading straight for the slope. I stopped examining the place and followed it, so some time later we took a kind of shortcut where we could walk to that descent. When we finally got a little lower, I noticed where Lauren had brought me. The place was practically a gazebo of the whole city that expanded down there. I was now in a very open field covered by grass, where several groups of people admired the landscape and talked to each other. The place was not full, even because to fill it, many people would be needed. Instead, the groups would sit on towels or on the same floor, away for several yards away from each other. Families, couples and friends, it was an extremely relaxing place that gave a privileged view of how much there was to see in that place. It took me a while to realize that Lauren had been sitting on the grass, right next to me, leaning her body in her arms and letting herself burn in the very soft glow with her eyes closed. I took her moment of meditation to admire her a little, still standing, so I sat beside her, cross-legged, looking at the landscape. - What do you think? - Beautiful. "I always come here when I'm worried about something or when I want to think. It's a great place to do that. "So you always come alone?" "Yes. You're the first person I bring here. I stared at her for some time, then turned again to the vastness beneath us, lined with houses, streets, and tall buildings. - It's really beautiful. "You must see how it is at night." It's magic. - I imagine. The clouds that once seemed to decide whether or not to cover the sun now completely blocked the sun's rays, leaving us with a cloudy and pleasant climate. I thanked her intimately for this, since I had not brought sunscreen. I allowed myself to relax and lay on my back on the grass, closing my eyes and letting the cool wind touch my skin in a gentle way, messing my hair a bit. It was incredible. That place had a feeling of peace too strong not to be carried away. Everything was inviting, and I was sure that the momentary happiness that popped like popcorn inside me also had to do with the presence of the woman who stood beside me. I opened my eyes and started to look at her intensely. - What is it? She shook her head, as if to say it was nothing. Lauren was still serious, but I wanted her to relax too, just like me. - You can talk ... I already said that you do not have to measure the words with me. She kept staring at me, as if within her a million thoughts had bubbled and she tried to organize them. - Do not tell me? - You are very beautiful. My heart jerked involuntarily, and I automatically lost my breath. "Thank you ..." I said, after some time trying to pull oxygen in and finally succeeding. She sighed, then lay down beside me in the same position as mine, staring up at the overcast sky. *** We stayed there for a long time. We talked about nonsense and resumed our game of questions and answers, trying to get to know each other more. I discovered that she hated oysters, that she did not know how to whistle and that she wanted to have two daughters and a son. I told her that I really liked dogs, that my favorite ice cream was flakes and that I did not like horror movies because I was scared to death of the dark. We entered into discussions on unimportant matters where she tried to present me with concrete evidence that the chicken came before the egg and where our ideas diverged about the parallel reality formed by Marty McFly and Dr. Brown's journey back to the future 2 All this time, I felt Lauren's tension gradually diminishing but never disappearing completely.When I found myself, it was already getting dark. I looked at the clock that ticked off a little after 6:00 PM, so I sat and watched the slow turn of lights on the houses, buildings, and avenues below. In no time the city looked like a tangle of tiny colored lamps. Lauren was right. It was magical. I restrained the adolescent will that took me from taking his hand, resting on the ground beside me, and remaining silent as the sky darkened completely. I restrained this will because I knew that it would be beyond the bounds, and it would surely drift away and revert to the tense stance of the early afternoon. I knew she had no real interest in me, and if I wanted that relationship to work, I could not let her know that I was completely in love with her. Because that was the truth. I was in love. Completely in love. And everything would be beautiful if it were reciprocated. And everything would be perfect if I were not what I was. "I forgot to tell you, at this time of year the night is a little unbearable here. It was only when she spoke that I realized that we were surrounded by mosquitoes that insisted on buzzing in our ears. I got up at the same time as her, which indicated that our day had come to an end. The most beautiful day ever. We got in the car and Lauren drove calmly back down the curvy road. The return was too fast, so soon we were already reaching the narrow, deserted street that led to the back of The Hills. When we got there, I got out of the car after her and waited. I waited for several things, though I knew it was best not to create expectations. But it was late, they were already raised. - Hey ... - I started, trying to put a casual tone on my voice - You did not congratulate me. - It is true. And saying that, he looked at me deeply. A look so intense that I could feel the waves of heat and electricity crashing between us. I was stuck in that look for a while that I could not measure, and then I felt a touch on my right hand, fallen beside my body. Without taking her eyes from mine, Lauren brought my hand up and left a soft, lingering kiss there. I made superhuman strength so that my body would not shake like jelly, so she removed her lips from my skin and continued to hold my hand in hers. - Happy birthday, Camz. That many are yet to come. - Thank you. - I hope you had fun today. Without waiting for a response from me, she gently let go of my hand and turned, walking back to the car, and starting, she left. Finally coming out of my reverie, I went in the back and was relieved to see that the kitchen was empty. I passed the room where there were some girls already, but I gave no importance to any of them. I went straight to my room and locked myself there. That had been the best day of my life. The fact that it was my birthday was just a detail. She spent all day with me. She chose for my company, although I was not entirely comfortable with it. She had given me a beautiful gift, which now caught the attention of my room. Without thinking, I went to the vase, and took the paper with the list of the various species that were there from the flowers. I lay on my stomach on the bed and read one by one, trying to identify them. After a long time in this game, I finally folded the paper, ready to store it in one of the drawers and study it later, but when facing one of the four parts of the paper, I was caught by surprise by something written in pencil. The letter though it seemed to be there by draft, was beautiful and imposing, different from the list bearing the names of the flowers, so I immediately understood that it could only be Lauren's handwriting. I unfolded the paper again so I could read the whole sentence. It was a quote. A quote that did not make sense to be there. It made no sense ... '' A coward is incapable of showing love. This is the privilege of the brave. '' - Mahatma Gandhi.
