Pov Lauren That was Shay. I had not seen her for some time, but I still remembered her unobtrusive hints on me. She was one of Ally's cousins, and one of the things I remember as a teenager was that she always made it clear she would be willing to give me any time of the day. I had to put up with jokes about my sexuality for always denying it. In fact, it was weird that someone did not want her, because Shay really was beautiful. Even completely unlike Ally, she had always drawn attention to his dark skin, imposing height and seductive eyes. But my conscience never let me take advantage of a woman in my best friend's family. Besides, I knew that even if I decided to use it, it would cling to me like chewing gum and would never leave me alone again. "You should show up more often." She said, wiping something off my shoulder I could not see. Maybe it was imaginary dirt, because Shay was always getting some way to touch me. - Life busy. I answered cordially. - Do not be stupid. We all have time for childhood friends when we want. She always talked about hinting at me, no matter what the issue was. For some reason, I thought that was funny. - How's life going? I asked randomly. - It's great. Better now that we meet again. Her hand, before on my shoulder, passed to my breast without the slightest explanation. - Mine is great too. - I hurried to clarify - I am dating. - Oh, really? And where is Mrs. Jauregui? Did she leave you alone in New Year's Eve? She teased. "It's here, somewhere." And if she sees you touching me like that, I think you're going to be a bitch. "She can not handle a little competition?" I was ready to tell her that there was no competition, but the words could not come out of my mouth because the next second someone stuck between us. Camila was irritated. She did not have to say a word for me to notice. I looked down and saw his face contorted in an expression of rage unheard of to me. Her small hands were clenched into fists, and she exhaled hard. I had the weird feeling of staring at a little irritated kitten. She did not speak to me, turning around and facing Shay. Their faces were about two inches apart. Even Camila being much lower than Shay, who was a little taller than me, she did not seem intimidated at all. So I was startled to see them staring at each other, Shay with a grin on his face and Camila with a murderous look."I was watching from a distance, and it seemed to you that you were too close to my girlfriend. I hope you do not mind if I stay here. "Honey," the other one replied, coming even closer to her. "I've known your girlfriend for a long time. And believe me, I've been close to her before you even showed up. "Which shows your degree of incompetence for not having it for you." The mocking smile vanished from her face at once. I myself was shocked by that response. As Shay did not have a replica in height, Camila gave her final blow. "Let's make it clear: Your hand in her bosom again means my hand in your face. Combined? Although she looked like an angry kitten, I inexplicably feared for Shay's life. She also looked fearful, and someone arriving at that moment would never understand how a woman of that size could be visibly afraid of a little girl. I always thought that in such situations, some scandal would have to be formed. So I was surprised at Camilla's discretion by saying clearly that she would stick her hand in the face of another woman in an almost gentle whisper. I looked around and no one seemed to notice what was happening between the three of us. Without another word, he walked back among the various people who had fun. And then, Camila turned to me. And I immediately feared for my life. "I was not giving her soft." I swear ... "She was smoothing his fucking chest. She hissed. I felt a bubbling jealousy in every word he said, his eyes seemed to want to tear me apart. "She always was." He always threw himself at me- "" And why did not you fuck off? - We were just talking! I swear I did not say anything ... "" It does not matter what you said or did not speak! Did not it cross your mind that maybe I did not like someone smoothing you? You may find it amusing, but what would you think if you saw me giving conditions to someone who was eating me with their eyes? I paused for a moment, trying to process everything she said, and then felt like an idiot. It was clear she was right. "I had not thought-" "Of course not. She said, and then she turned her back on me, aiming to pull away. I gripped her waist as gently as possible, preventing her from going immediately. "I'm sorry ... I did not think I would hurt you like this. I spoke at the foot of his ear. "Do you know how we can get an idea whether or not we're going to hurt anyone?" Let's just get in the other way. How would you feel? I would be utterly whore. Of course he would. Of course she was right. I loosened the grip on her waist, giving her the option to walk away from me. And she was. *** I wanted to give Camila some time. I knew I'd been an idiot, and I was annoyed that she'd needed to show me that. I knew she should be somewhere in the house with Julia now. Actually, that's what I expected. I took the time to call London, France and Germany, wishing a happy new year for my family. Everyone asked for Camila, so I had to come up with any excuse not to have to give her the phone. Even not talking about what had happened, my mother deduced that something was wrong with me. Taylor, for his part, made it clear that whatever had happened, it was my fault. I let some people come and talk to me about unimportant matters. Time and again, he peered back, searching for her around the room. I did not find her at any moment. Some people came to talk about how I looked good now, and even congratulated me for the "beautiful girlfriend." Most seemed true, but some just wanted to know more about my life.I genuinely thanked congratulations, responding to things like "I'm a lucky woman," but every time they touched her name I felt a small anguish and sadness in knowing of her hurt with me. I looked at my watch and found that 45 minutes had passed since Camila had left me alone. "Ally ..." I called as she passed me. "I have to sort things out, we're getting close to midnight ..." she replied, distracted by a side table of cold cuts. "Where's Julia?" She's stealing my girlfriend. - No it's not. Julia is asleep. I stared at her a little anxiously. "Is not Camz with her?" "No. Why is not she with you?" Ally asked, setting aside the table and putting her hands on her waist, staring at me with a look of "What did you do this time?" - She was pissed because her cousin was smoothing me ... - And why you left May she make you straight? - Because I'm an idiot. I'll go find her. I did not wait for an answer, leaving immediately and begging for the party. Ally's house was too big, which made my search difficult, so I cursed myself for insinuating Ally to pay too much. It was clear that a secretary could not afford such a house, but since she took care of my company much better than I did, it was the least I could do. I entered all rooms and small rooms. There were people everywhere, so finding it became a challenge. She was not anywhere. I waited outside the bathroom for the door to open, only to note that the person inside it was not her. The kitchen was packed with people too, but none of them were what I wanted. I asked some people if they had seen her, but no one could tell me where Camila was. I found Marcel talking to some friends near the stairs leading to the underground. - Marcel, did you see Camila? - Saw. He's downstairs in the bar. "The bar" was the basement completely transformed into a room, all wood-toned, with dim lighting. Their idea was to make it look like a pub with a small bar, a pool table, TV and sound. It was a place I always envied in that house. - She is alone? I asked, putting my foot on the first step. "The last time I went there, I was. About forty minutes ago, I went down to get some more whiskey. She was sitting by the bench. It seemed a little sad, so he asked me for a dose of something. I stared at him a little disturbed. Ally appeared behind him now. "Did you give her something to drink?" I said, hoping his answer would be negative. "I left a bottle of red wine with her. Did I do wrong? I closed my eyes. Camila was weak for drink as a five-year-old, she was on an empty stomach and had a whole bottle of wine in her hands.It was clear that it was going to end in shit. Ally and Marcel seemed to understand my sudden concern, so when I got downstairs they were both behind me. She was still on the bench, as Marcel had said. I walked over to her, touching her gently on my left arm. His head was turned to the other side, resting on his hand. Her hair was hiding her face. In front of her were a half-bottle of wine and an empty goblet. From the height of the liquid in the bottle, I guessed that Camila had probably taken three servings. Or more. - Camz? She turned to me a little slowly. His gaze was unfocused, red and wet, his face wet. I was taken by surprise to find that she looked at me with tenderness, not in a hostile manner as I imagined she would be. I hated myself immediately for having hurt her. "You should not have drunk ..." I stammered as I pulled out some rebel strands still on his face. "Come on, I'll take you home." She continued to look at me lovingly, still still. "Are not you going to stick around?" Ally exclaimed disappointed. "It's only fifteen minutes!" "Better not," I said, turning to her and looking at her in a suggestive way, hoping she would understand. "She's not used to drinking. It can behave unpredictably. Ally understood. Camila and I lived on a well-kept secret, and acting "unpredictably" meant perhaps putting that secret at risk. She did not complain, obviously agreeing with my caution. I knew she had not told my secret even to Marcel, and again I felt tremendous gratitude for her discretion. During all this time, all Camila had done was look at me with those tearful eyes. Suddenly I found myself thinking about the possibility of not deserving it. "Come, my beautiful ..." I said, pulling her by the waist gently. - I need to say something. Her voice came out louder than usual. She was drunk, and I knew it before I could smell wine on her breath. The muscles in my neck stiffened. "You tell me at home." Come ... "I pushed his body a little harder against mine, hoping to make her walk. - No, I need to talk! She screamed, getting rid of my arms staggering back a little. "Camila ..." I pleaded, but it was difficult to ask for the understanding of someone who was not even in his normal condition. I looked back and saw Marcel watching everything. Ally shared some of my panic. "I can not take this anymore, I can not ..." she said, starting to cry again. I did not know what she would say. He did not know how much he would speak. "Let's make them comfortable ..." Ally said, pushing Marcel to the exit, but before they could leave, Camila's voice cut the silence. - I love you. I turned to her again. Tears streamed freely down her face. She was staring at me intently, though her gaze still seemed a bit unfocused. But, even drunk.She was very aware of my presence there. - I love you. She repeated, not because she thought I had not listened, but because those words seemed to come out of her as the confession of a sin. As if making it important. "I love you so much." And I have to say that, even if I'm afraid. Because I think maybe that's the only right thing in my life. It's the only thing I do not regret. The only thing noble in me. And I have to say this because it's desperate to know that I'm being judged constantly even loving you like that. All I could do was stare at her, trying to gather the bits of information. I felt a presence behind me, and then I understood that Ally and Marcel were still there, hearing everything. She continued, closing her eyes as if she wanted to concentrate on the difficult task of spitting out an accumulated anguish. "I would never, never be with you for anything other than that." I do not want your fucking money, I do not need your fucking name to get status on anything. I just love you. I love it so much I think I could kill someone if I were about to lose you. Because I need you. I need you. She sobbed, now crying so compulsively that she might need some help. "It's not fair to be seen as a self-seeking bitch ... I'm not. I need you to know this ... I need you to understand this at least once ... "Camila took two quick steps toward me and hugged me around the waist, thrusting my face into my chest and crying hard as I repeated" I I love "with a muffled voice against my clothes. And each time she repeated those words, my heart filled with a joy so simple and true that I could barely contain the urge to laugh. She had never said that. Not that I needed to hear that confession to believe her feelings were true, but it was only then that I really knew the intensity of what she felt. She did not like me. She was not in love with me. It was more than that. She loved me. And suddenly, everything in the world seemed a little better. - We're moving up to make the turn. - Ally said, reminding me that she and Marcel were still there - You can stay around if you want. I will not mind. "Thank you ..." That was all I could say, still being held tight by Camila in a small but strong hug. They left, leaving us alone in the bar. I heard her sniff low against my blouse, and I felt an overwhelming desire to comfort her. Without much effort, I lifted her in my arms and carried her to one of the sofas near the TV, laying her there. She looked rather drowsy, blinking incredibly slowly and letting the last tears trickle out of the corner of her eye. I stared at her, and for a while all she did was stare back at me. When the last blink seemed too heavy, she did not open her eyes again, so I knelt by her side and all I could do was admire her. Beautiful. She was beautiful. And it was mine. It was all I needed, and there was no exaggeration in that thought. I could lose everything I had, except her. Because, after all, she was the person I'd been looking for my whole life. It was for her that I would do anything, it was in her that I would base myself to have the notion of right and wrong. She was the inspiration of whatever I would do, and even if all those thoughts seemed too sweet, they were so true that there was no denying them. I let time go by, listening to the thrill of upstairs excitement. People were talking excitedly, making plans for the coming year. The champagne should be ready, the glasses ready to be filled, the friends and the families ready to embrace each other and wish each other good things. And I stayed there. Because if my year had to start with one person, that person was her. Without a shadow of doubt."How did you become all this to me in such a short time?" I spoke in a very low tone as I stroked her hair and admired her. She did not respond, absorbed in her sleep. I smiled for no reason. I heard the voices rise upstairs. I waited. It would be my timer on that occasion. I felt a strange peace take care of me as I watched her sleep on the leather sofa. The countdown upstairs began. I held one of her hands, crawling until I was as close to her as I could. Her eyes opened slowly, blinking sometimes with difficulty, as if she was waiting for the right moment. I stared at those chocolate eyes a few inches from my face, and I was suddenly sure I would die for them. - HAPPY NEW YEAR! A sea of voices exploded upstairs, screaming and making a deafening noise. Without warning, Camila threw herself up, wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me tenderly. I felt the hairs on my neck rise up. "Happy New Year, my love ..." she replied, parting her lips from mine and smiling dulled by the alcohol. I leaned my forehead against hers, just admiring his smile. She was there. It was more than enough. "Happy New Year, my queen. His eyes flashed. The silence there contrasted sharply with the commotion of the party above us, but the sound came a little muffled in my ears - I was not really paying attention to it. Because she was there. The year could not have started better. *** - Are you able to drive? Ally asked, glaring at me as if she were my mother. "I did not drink anything." I answered, telling the truth. I knew I would have to drive home, and it was not in my plans to start the year with my face tucked into a pole. She glanced at the passenger seat, where Camila slept soundly. I watched her, too. "Is she going to be okay?" - He asked. - I think so. Just a little headache when you wake up. I noticed that Ally was staring at Camilla with pity. "She has a serious problem with the past, does not she?" I've never seen anyone so desperate to clarify anything. "Yeah," I agreed. "I need to work on it." I think she has many traumas. - I imagine. We were silent again, watching her sleep. - Marcel told me to apologize, he did not know ... - It's okay. But now you know she gets a little crazy when she drinks. I laughed, not taking my eyes off her. - And honest. Ally added. I looked at her again, and I saw that she was looking at me with interest. "I do not know who else needs to be cared for and cared for in your relationship. "Neither do I-" I concluded. "That's why I think you're going to work." She reached for the car keys for me. "Drive carefully. Camila spent the entire trip back unconscious. When we arrived in the garage of our building, I made no mention of waking her, even though I imagined that walking could be a difficult task for her in those conditions. Instead, I picked her up and carried her to the apartment. She seemed to wake up, but she was still sleepy and kept her eyes closed. - We're here. I whispered in his ear as he closed the door with a kick."Uhmm ..." She replied against my neck. I laid her gently on the bed and waited. For nothing special, just to be admiring it a little more. I ran my fingers through her hair and she shifted a little, tucking her face into the comforter. I turned on the heater and went back to it. I took off her shoes, wanting her to feel more comfortable. My hands, as always with self-will, walked gently around his ankles, slowly climbing to his calves and knees. Her skin felt softer every time I touched her, even chilling at my touch. When I reached her thighs, she shifted again and murmured a muffled "no." I accepted his will, even though I did not plan on actually having sex with her in that state. It would be weird to try anything without her being conscious to say whether she wanted to or not. But if she wanted to ... I pushed that thought away, searching for the zipper of her dress and lowering it to get it out of her, but again she moved, moving away from me. - Not! Ummmpppff ... Calm down, love. I will not do anything. I just want to make you comfortable to sleep. I whispered in her ear, and she seemed to calm down for a moment. But as soon as I took the zipper back in my hands and opened the dress a little longer, she pulled away again, this time pushing me. - Do not touch me, porrrrrra ... My girlfriend will give you a surrrrrra ... I could not hold back the laughter. - Camz? It's me. I said as I held her face in my hands and waited for her eyes to open. When that happened, the focus came back to them in a few seconds, and when she realized my presence there, she smiled sweetly. "Oiii ..." She blinked a few times, wrapping an arm around my neck. - Hi. Can I take your dress off? "Claaaro, who can ..." She replied, still smiling, raising her arms above her head as if to tell me to pull her clothes over them. I did so and immediately saw her skin and the many bruises my lack of care left on her. I wondered if it would be okay to try the almond cream on the brands, but I immediately dismissed that idea because I did not know if I could maintain control with it in that state. Her skin began to shiver; probably the heater had not left the room warm enough yet. I pulled the comforter on the other side of the bed and covered it, curling Camila up to her neck and trapping the ends under her body. She sighed quietly, a little asleep and a little awake. I gathered up her shoes and dress and took them into the closet. I reached into some drawer for some pajamas and turned to take a shower, but I was surprised by Camila walking past me toward the bathroom. I went quickly behind her and found her bent over the toilet, vomiting jets of a living pink liquid. The wine her body could not digest was being expelled by force, and suddenly I felt sorry for the hangover I knew she would have to face later. I knelt behind her and tied her hair in a ponytail with one hand. With every urge that came, she threw her head forward without any care, probably because of drunkenness, so I hastened to hold her forehead lest she hit the pot. When she looked better, I helped her up and held her steady as she brushed her teeth and washed her face, removing the makeup. - Best? I asked, putting her on the bed and covering her again. "Yes ..." she replied quietly, snuggling between the pillows. "I wish you were not around whenever I vomited. - Is playing? It's good that I'm around. You seem to have slightly suicidal tendencies when you vomit. She laughed, closing her eyes and sighing. - Come here with me. That was the kind of request he could not deny. Okay, I did not mind the shower anyway. I pulled my clothes off and slipped under the duvet, grabbing at her without saying anything. I waited for her to sleep again, which did not take long. When that happened, I approached her ear and spoke in a low voice, trying not to wake her. - I love you too honey. And I hope you accept the plans I have for both of us. Pov Camila I was sitting on the edge of a fountain.It was springtime by then, and I could say that mainly through the garden in front of me, full of camellias of the most varied types and colors. I inhaled deeply to smell fresh grass. The sun gave the weather a pleasantly warm, ideal temperature. I felt incredibly happy and complete, and I did not even know why. I did not move, afraid that feeling would leave me. Unlike other times, I knew I was dreaming. In the distance, I saw a person. More precisely a child, a girl, perhaps with her eight years of age. She came running to me, and when she caught up with me I realized that I did not know her. But something in it instantly caught my attention. Those were the eyes I loved the most. They were of a green so well-known, so perfect, that I could not stop looking at them. They were Lauren's very eyes. Immediately I realized that I loved that girl more than anything in the world. - Hello what is your name? I asked, brushing a strand of hair from his sweaty face and placing it behind his ear. "I do not have a name yet. She answered, and her voice seemed as melodious as a choir of angels. I missed that answer. Could I be dreaming of Taylor's daughter, not yet born? But still, something about her appealed to me. Like a magnet. She smiled, and again the memory of Lauren came too strong. Somehow, I felt that she loved me too, even though I had never seen myself in my life. Everything in that dream was strange. I was suddenly awakened by a pain that was real enough. So strong that I wondered how I had even managed to sleep. After some time trying to get back to reality, completely lost, I could identify that the pain was in my head. Identifying the part of the body that ached was a start. It took me a few minutes to take the courage to open my eyes. When I did, even the faint light that the curtains in Lauren's room filtered out was enough to turn that little moment into hell. I closed my eyes very quickly again, trying to swallow, but my tongue looked like cloth. Maybe someone had beaten me before I fell asleep, because all the muscles in my body looked a little rotten. I turned my head slowly to the side only to note that Lauren, as usual, was not there. Casting from the depths of my muscles all the strength that was in me, I sat on the bed still with closed eyes. Unfortunately, the movement was too fast, so a bewildering dizziness and a sudden nausea took me immediately. I felt something wanting to leave me by force, and I was desperate to find that even if I could walk to the bathroom - which was not the case - I would probably end up throwing up on the carpet before getting in the way. With no choice at all, I curled up in bed, putting my head out of it and simply letting a disgusting jet come out of my mouth. But that was all that came out. The craving came every five seconds, but my empty stomach had nothing to expel. And every time she came, she was coming so hard that my head seemed to explode, making me crave silently for a faint. I felt a hand on my forehead, supporting her. I did not have to turn around or open my eyes to know who it was. When the vomit cravings began to get less frequent, I relaxed and breathed better. I opened my eyes slowly and faced a bowl, strategically placed on the floor so I did not dirty the carpet. Lauren knew that would happen, and I was grateful to her for being cautious. I sat up in bed very slowly. My head was spinning, making everything a little foggy. Calm down. That's right. Listening to his voice reassured me a little. I opened my eyes and saw her in front of me with a look of compassion. Immediately I remembered the girl in my dream, and then everything became very obvious. So obvious that I did not know how I could have misunderstood before. That girl was my daughter. Mine and Lauren.The daughter we did not have, but that my subconscious created. Knowing Julia and Emily had probably awakened in me an unprecedented maternal instinct. - It's better? I shook my head in response, but regretted it on time. My brain seemed to shake inside the skull. I would have replied aloud, but I knew it would also make my head ache even worse. "We'll have to see what your stomach can handle." - She said, going to the bedside table and coming back with a glass that looked like water and a tablespoon. She took some of the liquid with the spoon and brought it up to my mouth. I noticed it was not water, but whey, which would help me not to dehydrate so fast. Fortunately, my stomach was able to accept the three spoons offered, without my having to spit it all over again in the basin by the bed. Lauren carried me into the bathroom, supporting me as I showered. I was eternally grateful to her for having notion and not trying to touch me in inappropriate ways, even though I had full access to my body. When my bath was already taken and my teeth brushed, she began a nursing process that immediately made me feel bad for being so busy. I took advantage of the fact that now I could talk. "I'm sorry I threw up your bathroom yesterday and almost done it again on your carpet." - Our bathroom and our carpet. And do not worry about it. I lay down again, feeling better gradually. "Never let me drink again." "I have to admit that you're drunk is interesting. She looked at me oddly and smiled. For some reason, I was anxious. I still had not stopped to try to remember what exactly I had done after filling my face. I wanted to imagine that I had not done anything inappropriate, like a ridiculous striptease on a table or something. I calmed down to realize that if something like this had happened, she would not be all smiling and careful with me, but a whore. The only daring thing I clearly remembered to do was threaten a bitch if she decided to continue her "me-eat" way over Lauren. Maybe it was the last thing I remembered. After that, I remember asking for something from Marcel, who gave me not just one dose but a whole bottle of wine. Since I was pissed and sad, I did not think about whether or not it would be smart to fill my face. Alcohol made me think. So I kept mulling over the memory of that bitch smoothing out my girlfriend, and I thought of all the others who wanted to be able to do that. I also thought of the accusatory looks I received from some people at the party, so obvious that they were not even necessary words to tell me that I was being seen as a self-willed. I thought of my damn past, my damn fault ... I thought of Lauren, and how important it was that she understood my real intentions. I thought about how much I loved her. How much I needed her. I thought how much I wanted to live forever by your side. And then ... Then ... Oh, yes. Then I'd said, in all the letters, that I loved her like crazy. My face warmed, then I looked away from her, lowering my head and looking at her hands. She laughed softly, because she did not need any words from me to understand that I had finally remembered - my red-ketchup tonality made that clear. "As if you did not know that," I said quietly, a little grumpily, laying my head back on the pillow. She knew I was embarrassed so she did not dwell on it. But I could see how it had made her happy. He knew he should have confessed that long ago, because depriving her of hearing those words was not fair. I myself knew how to listen to them was good. It took a little - a few minutes just - for me to understand that that confession had not only taken a huge weight off my back: It had freed me from something far greater, an irrational fear of making it clear how much I needed it. To accept that Lauren was essential in my life had already happened, but to make that clear to her was much more difficult. And for some reason, now that she finally knew, I felt free. I sighed against the pillow. "You always knew, did not you?" I asked. - More or less.I felt guilty about that answer. I wanted her to know. I thought I'd made that clear from the moment she came back into my life. - I always loved you. I finished, fighting the headache and forcing me to open my eyes to face her. "It was never less than that. Lauren stared at me without saying anything. She did not smile, but her eyes glittered at those words. When she realized that there was nothing more to be said, she went to lie down next to me, very close to me, touching the tip of her nose in mine and allowing me to smell the natural scent of her skin. "Hearing this from you when you're sober is even better. She laughed, gently kissing my lips and running the index finger down the apple on my face. "Thank you." I could not answer, keeping myself still there at his touch. And then I realized the time I had lost. *** Then the year had begun. My life had completely changed in less than a month, and I could not feel happier about it. It was even strange to remember the past, not only because it bothered me, but also because it seemed so incredibly distant from the present. I developed the ability to force myself to stop thinking when some memories came. It allowed me to remember things that happened to my mother's death and from the day Lauren came back into my life. The time period between these two moments was purposely a huge void. It was clear that this was not always the case. Time and again I remembered my friends who were still in the past. Most of the time I tried not to think about anything from that period, but that was impossible, even though certain things I liked to remember happened right there. Meet Lauren. Letting Lauren know me. Lauren giving me the best birthday of my life. It was not possible to forget anything that included it. So, in the same way, it was impossible not to remember, at one time or another, the day she left me. But I was fine. If not cured, conformed. And there was no reason to let any old problem upset my happiness now, because that would even sound like ingratitude. We were closer than before. We acted like a real couple, and maybe that was obvious to someone who did not know our story, but that little fact filled me with joy. It was wonderful to be able to see her every day and ask how her day had been. It was wonderful to feel at ease to tell her that I missed her when I was alone in that apartment. It was wonderful to say that he loved her without any problem. My days were still a bit monotonous, but I would not feel well if I complained to Lauren. My life was practically the life a princess wore, but since I had always been different, I missed some small things. - Can I ask you something? - Clear. We were watching tv in the room, waiting for the sleep to arrive. "I do not want you to think I'm complaining or demanding anything ..." I began. "But you remember a conversation we had ..." "At my parents' house?" She remembered. "I-" "I thought you were never going to ask." She replied with a simple smile on her lips. I turned to her, a little anxious. His attitude was filling me with hope. - And then? I asked, looking like a child. - Well, you said you wanted something simple ... I found something you could do. It's not difficult at all, and unfortunately it should not be very fun either, but if you do not like it and want to do something else, you can come and talk to me ... "" What is it? " I interrupted her, too eager to wait for her to finish her reasoning."Remember what I said you did to my family?" "Yes ..." I nodded. "He said I was a librarian." "Yeah. And I know you have a taste for reading. But this is harder than most people think. You must have at least a bachelors degree in library science. Anyway, anything that would even go away. At least for those who do not understand the subject. I noticed that she was a little embarrassed, stopping before continuing to speak. - It is what it is? Say it for the love of God! "It's not very interesting, but ... Well, there's an old library three blocks away." I went there and found out they wanted a helper. You know, to do anything special. Catalog, tidy up, inspect books. See if they are being returned in good condition, tidying up the new ones ... These things. My eyes flashed. I was not in front of a mirror, but I could be sure of that. It was clear that this was not the normal dream job of anyone, but to me it was simply wonderful. - The salary is not good ... - She continued - But the good side is that there is not much bureaucracy. And you could take your time. I'm sure you can find out a lot of cool- "" It's perfect ... "She looked at me suspiciously. - It 's not perfect. I just looked for it because you said you wanted something simple and you did not care how much you would earn ... - It's perfect! Simply perfect! Lauren stared at me like I was raving with fever. "Thank you ..." I said, hugging her with a love I could not express in words. - It was nothing. Same. I could have arranged something much better ... "" No need! You do not know how I liked it. Her expression was one she did not really know. But she smiled. - I can give you some tips. That was my first job. I was 12 years old, and I was fascinated by the idea of working and earning my own money. I think my father is proud of me even today because of that. She laughed, her eyes unfocused, clearly remembering the occasion. I was so happy and fascinated by everything that my irises had probably turned into pink hearts. "Oh, you get it next week. And then" next week "has come. Lauren taught me the way to the place and I realized that I could walk quietly. I felt fearful as a child on the first day of school, but when I got to the place I realized that it was not necessary. Mr. Blake, who was in charge of the library, though very grumpy, was a quiet gentleman. Perhaps he was even more satisfied than usual, because he would hardly find an employee who would work on something so seemingly monotonous for so little, and still with a smile on his lips. Of course he did not need to know that my satisfaction was because, compared to what I had done in the past, any job was immediately pleasant and satisfying. The library was old. It was not huge, but it could not be considered small either. Most of the books there seemed to be old too, spread out on large wooden shelves that ran to the ceiling. They were two floors, the second being for exclusive access to employees. The walls and floor were dark wood as well, giving a cozy look to the place. At the front some tables and chairs were arranged in five rows. Behind them were the shelves, and among them were some tables that probably belonged to librarians. After receiving instructions from mr. Blake, I started my first day at work. I was happier than I paint in the trash. I woke up with Lauren, her going to the company and me going to the library. Over time, a small idea - which, according to her, was too good to be wasted like that - began to be applied in our mornings. - Hmmmpppff ... - Good morning. She spoke, a seductive voice to my ear. I was awakened by his soft kisses on my neck and the strong smell of mint toothpaste.- Wait ... - I said, completely disoriented - Let me wake up ... - You're already awake. I felt a hand pull my panties aside without any ceremony. When I finally opened my eyes, I noticed that she was on top of me, her face less than two inches from mine. - What are you doing? "I asked just to save time. Because I knew perfectly well what she was doing. - Did you know that morning practice strengthens the body's immune defenses and improves the functioning of some organs, as well as improving mood significantly for the rest of the day? And those are just a few benefits. I did not know if she was making it up or if she actually did research on it. But I did not care. "Wait ..." I repeated, feeling his hand slowly unbutton the buttons on my shirt. "Let me brush my teeth ..." She ignored me. I tried to argue that in that way we would end up being late, which is exactly what happened on the first day of your brilliant idea. I imagined she would give up on that plan, but the solution that seemed most pleasing to her was to wake up an hour earlier. I forbade her to touch me before I did my morning hygiene. Lauren seemed upset, claiming that "the grace was to wake me up like that." I even agreed: I had to admit that being taken from my dreams by her tongue walking my body - sometimes in the most inappropriate places - was quite interesting. We came to the agreement that she would at least not kiss me until I brushed my teeth, since hers were always brushed when I woke. She looked like a 16-year-old with the hormones in fury. But I did not dislike it at all, because my sexual appetite seemed to be greater. The problem was that the rest of the day, because of the interrupted sleep and a few nights of insomnia, I felt incredibly sleepy. At one point, when Lauren asked me how my work was, I had to omit the fact that I almost fell off the stairs three times in a week as I tried to organize some books on higher shelves in the library. I chose to hide from her a strange anxiety. Because of her, she'd go through some stomach disorder sometimes. My digestion was not very good, sometimes causing me extremely nauseating nausea. But since I did not want to worry her and I was convinced that this was the result of the process of getting used to a new life, I waited for the symptoms to pass. Maybe I was just developing some sort of stress, but sooner or later it would disappear. That's what I was counting on. - Are you alright? She asked suspiciously as she watched me walk to the bed with an exhausted expression. "Only with a little backache." - I answered, lying down and feeling some points of my column click quietly. "You look exhausted these past few days. - It's your impression. I lied, trying to calm her down. I felt exhausted, but I would not tell her that. It would sound like ingratitude. She kept staring at me suspiciously, but she seemed anxious about something else. - What's it? I asked, curious now. "I wanted to talk to you about something." Those words were enough to make me nervous. I sat up in bed, ignoring my back pain, to face her better. "Okay ..." I replied, already feeling like crying. Why did I feel like crying? - What is it about? "About a change ... You're not well!" It did not have to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that out. My nerves were on the skin, and that fact was clear. I was sweating, trembling, and my eyes filled with water. I'm just nervous. I want you to talk soon. She kept staring at me like I was melting. I felt like screaming at her, but I restrained myself. - You like it here? " Hence "? What do you mean "from here"? From her apartment? - Taste. She kept staring at me, as if searching for the right words. "Remember when I said we were going back to London in the spring?" It was clear that I remembered.- What have? Lauren began to speak without hesitation. "I know your past is very far from us now. But I know you still have some fears. And I want to heal them all. I know you'll never be able to feel completely at home here, because there's always going to be some kind of fear of being identified on the street. I know I can not take you to parties like my girlfriend because there's always going to be a risk of someone knowing you. And I'm sure if that happened, you'd care much more than I did. And then he said, "I see how you walk down the street. I do not want to see you with your head down. We all have our "black past," and you do not deserve to suffer more than anyone else for yours. You do not deserve to be judged more than anyone else. My brain began to process the information she was trying to get through. Still, all I did was keep staring at her like a fool, until the last word was spoken. "You said you liked London." I like it there, too. So I took the liberty, even if I dared to do it: There is a house two blocks from my parents' house. It is a little smaller than theirs, but very nice. And it's ours. She paused, if I wanted to say something. And I wanted to say many things. But I could not make a single sound. "I'm taking care of some issues I have here. In a month from now, I'll be able to officially name Ally as principal. She has always been much more competent than myself, the company will be in great hands. As for your job, I'm sure I can find something like that in London. And as if she wanted to make me respond somehow, she held my hands in her softly, staring at me with love. "But of course I would not solve all this alone. I do not want to impose anything at all. So if you do not want to go, if you want to continue here, I cancel everything. I'm just doing it because I think it's going to be better for you. And if it's better for you, then it's better for me too. London. Lauren wanted to move to London. And he wanted to take me with him. She smiled simply at me, maybe because I was hopeful that I liked the idea but probably because I knew I had no chance of not liking it. There was no such possibility. She should know that. She should know that she did not have to say that she "had the option of staying if she wanted to." Because moving to London, my newest favorite place in the world, was like a dream. Because the chances of some son of a bitch finding me and bringing the past back to ruin my life would become remote. Because I would be close to her family. And I loved her family. And seeing them together made me incredibly happy. "Can you at least tell me why you're crying?" She asked, drying my face and squeezing my hands so that I would react. "I hope from the bottom of my heart that it's for joy ..." I threw myself into his arms, hugging her tightly, and just stood there. I allowed myself to shed all the tears that were hurting my throat, hiding my face against her neck and letting the tears flow without feeling embarrassed. At least until the part I started to sob. "Camz ... You're not well ..." she said, trying to pull my face up so that it was visible, but I forced myself to be hidden around her neck. - I'm more than fine. I spoke against his skin, trying to contain the tremor in his voice. "Why are you crying like that?" It should be TPM. It did not matter. - I love you. Thanks for everything. She hugged me back, so tight that for a little more I would not hurt. I realized that feeling his arms so firmly around me was one of the best sensations in the world, if not the best. - I love you too. But please, stop crying.You are scarring me. Although she was serious, I could not help laughing. "Have you talked to your parents yet?" I asked, still clinging to her, not allowing her to look at me. "No. My idea is to tell you when we're there, although I have a vague impression that my mother is suspicious of something. "And when are we going?" - End of March, at the beginning of April. My heart quickened with joy. I pressed myself against her again, so radiant I could barely contain myself. My eyes continued to gush liters of water out of my body. Maybe I'd get dehydrated. But it did not matter. Those tears were worth it. It was as if all my fears and insecurities were gradually leaving me, being replaced by incredible happiness. She spent the rest of that night telling me what the house was like, and how it would be living there, and how Clara would be happy about it. I knew she would love it, even was one of the real reasons why I had been so happy. I was radiant. It was exactly what my best dreams would be like. I was so happy that all the suffering I had gone through seemed so far away that I might not even remember. It was as they said: "Without the bitter, the sweet would not be so sweet." And I could clearly feel the sweetness in which my life was steeped now. *** The days following the novelty were some of the best in my life. Expecting to be close to people I knew they loved me was a wonderful thing, and it was not uncommon to lose focus on the job, thinking about the brief future in which I would meet Clara and Michael, taking their daughter along with me. And then the only aspect that made them like me a little less - keeping Lauren away - would not exist anymore. As a bonus, my payday has arrived. I was literally afraid of not being able to deal with so many good news at the same time and just going crazy. And then I convinced myself that I was stranger by the day. - Love? - Yes. - There's a check in my wallet. I kept looking at her sweetly, saying nothing. "How did he get there?" She insisted. - I put it there. She looked at me quizzically. - What is it? I asked innocently. "What do you expect me to do with him?" "Um ... Deposit to your account, perhaps?" Or serve. Lauren made a face "I understood" and completely ignoring my explanations, she gave me back the check "Hey, it's yours!" "No." She looked at me as if looking at an idiot person. "It's yours." "You worked for him." "But you said that I could do whatever I wanted with the money! "" And I want to give it to you! "" That does not fit right! "" Why are you giving me all your wages? "" Because it's just a little bit of everything you've spent. "Camz, do not start." She spoke in a serious way, and for some reason it weakened me, "No, do not cry, for God's sake!" I did not know if she was desperate or without patience, but whatever. It was late, and the tears began to come down without me being able to do anything. "" Okay, I'll take the check, but please do not cry ... And my days have turned out to be like this. , I thought I was a complete idiot: My life was wonderful, so why did I stop crying and irritate me like a suicidal depressive? - Honey, maybe you should go to some psychologist ... You want me to check? "She told me one day, and then I fought with her because, besides calling me crazy, she thought I was incompetent. Ally went to lunch almost every day with me. And I knew it was Lauren's request. "Lauren said you're mad at her." She said as she ate the dessert. "I'm not angry ... I'm just confused, I guess. It must be this whole change thing ... "" I know. It must be difficult to get used to so many changes at the same time. But I know it will be all right. For some reason, Ally soon became my friend.We did not talk about the past, even though it did not make any sense to spoil the good mood with the shit left behind. We would go out, talk, do shopping together. Well, she was shopping. I was with her. "How's Emily and Julia?" - Great. I think they liked you. I had also liked them. I thought that moving so far would not bring me any sadness because nothing came to me here, but I was taken aback to realize that I would miss Ally's family very much. Especially the girls, which did not make much sense even because I'd only seen them one time. "Are you nervous about being a company director?" I asked, trying to shake off the emotion. "Yes. It may seem I'm very safe, but it's a huge responsibility. "But it was always you who made the decisions. She laughed, because she knew she could not deny that statement. - Is different. Everyone sees me as a secretary. I know I'll have to go through many prejudices to make myself respectable. She stopped, staring at me. "You understand me, do not you?" I understood. Perfectly. And she knew it. "You're going to be a great director." I said, trying to cheer her up. "You have enough competence for that." She smiled, and it was during those few days that not only did I like Ally more, but I came to see her as a true friend. Maybe not so close or intimate, but certainly trustworthy and loyal. She encouraged me. Not that I desperately needed it, because I was not depressed. My mood swings were not just about getting normal and, after a few minutes, crying compulsively. I also had moments of effusive joy, irrational irritation, and deep depravity. Lauren obviously liked this last state of mind. "Ahhhhhhh ..." "Did not you have a headache a few hours ago?" She asked as she thrust into me and spoke against my mouth. And I really was, which made my will to have sex negative. But it was not my fault that upon awakening at 3:15 a.m., I was seized by a sudden and maddening will to be eaten by her. "Are you complaining that I remembered you?" I said, a little provocative. - Not even. You'll always be welcome when you want to wake me up with a blowjob again. But in the moments when my nymphomaniac side awoke, I was not much of a talk. - Right. Shut the fuck up and eat me. She did not care. Or at least he did not seem to mind, anyway, it was not like I was just fucking anyone. It was far from that. I still loved her, maybe more each day, and I'd never done "just" sex with her. But lately my libido was exploding. I felt more confident in our relationship. Not that I did not feel it before, but knowing that I could open myself up in any way with her gave me an impressive strength. We could talk about anything, and this included, sometimes, some references to the "black past." But it was not as before, that a mere mention seemed to be a punishment: If something had to be spoken or explained, then that was what was done. No drama, no frills. It only made the few remaining obstacles in me fall apart, one at a time. And counting on her to help me break some barriers only made me love her even more. Like I never imagined being able to love anyone.And I loved her so much that sometimes it was necessary to say it to her as soon as the urge arose, whether we were having sex or while she was doing the dishes. "I consider it treacherous to have sex with one person and think of another." It's very weird if you stop to think. We were watching a movie on TV where exactly that was happening. Lauren was leaning against the head of the bed with me between her legs. "Why would it be treason?" She asked, trying to understand my point of view. - Well, okay. It may not be treason, but it's unfair. If you sleep with one person and think of another, it is a sign that you are only using the person you are with at the moment. And even though she'll never know ... Well, it's still unfair. "Um ... does that count for masturbation, too?" - Of course not. Then you really need to think about somebody, right? She was silent for a moment, and I felt I was deciding whether or not to continue the subject. "I've had to think of you while I was with a girl. I was silent. What should I answer? " How nice "? - I was sleepy. - She continued - And wanted to enjoy soon. But I could not ... - Did you want to sleep? Apparently she was not very good, right? I asked, still looking at the TV, but very attentive to the conversation. "She was beautiful and such ... But I do not know ... I think the problem was that she was not you. I was kind of obsessed with you back then. I smiled, even though it was horrible. "You're a bad person. I said, happier than I should have. Following my reasoning, she had taken advantage of that girl, but I really did not care. She laughed behind me, giving a gentle kiss to my neck. We were silent for a little while, but I knew it would not end there. He really was like a child who needed some certainties. "You never did?" Her voice came out timid, almost as if she were feeling guilty for asking that question. "I mean, have not you ever been with someone else thinking of me?" I had my back to her, but I could bet that Lo was with the face of a dog-manco-no-dono. "No," I replied simply. I could feel a sigh on my neck. He knew she was saddened by the answer, but she knew that what she was about to tell her would make her radiant. "I've never been with someone else." I let that piece of information do the effect I knew I would. "Have you ever been to someone else?" She asked after a while. "No. More silence. - Never? - Never. "Was I the first one to make you cum?" How many ways could she ask that same question? - Yeah, the first one. It's unique. She seemed a little skeptical, but I did not try to convince her of anything. - Because? What do you mean "why"? "Because, at first, you were the only one who found the right spot in my body. And then you were the only person I ever loved. "I turned around, looking for your eyes." Makes sense, does not it? It was clear that her eyes shone like two green spheres. She did not smile, but it was simply obvious satisfaction in her face. Lauren did not answer, just staring at me with that same expression.I will return to the original position again. "You're glad you were the first in at least something with me, were not you?" I asked, staring at the television distractedly. She hesitated. He knew that the very essence of that question was sad. - You can talk. I will not start crying. And he would not. I felt safe both to ask that question and to accept the answer. She just hugged me in response, but even with her silence I could hear the confirmation of that question induced. His arms tightened around me, giving me a sense of possession, dominance. But more than that, I felt a strange gratitude in his act. Something I could not explain because it just did not make sense. It was as if she was simply thanking me for making her special. Thanking, in some way, for loving her as I did. For leaving my happiness in her hands. I unclenched his arms in a gentle way, shifting his position and sitting again between his legs, but this time facing her. "I want you to be the first in everything." At least from now on. I started, trying, discreetly, to reach the drawer of the nightstand beside him. It did not help, she noticed my movement, turning her gaze away from mine and now facing my hand. I held the lubricant she had tried to use with me once. "I will not ... I will not be the first ..." She hesitated to say what she wanted, and I knew why. "Yes. You'll be the first and only one who will do it right." - But ... You already ... They already made you ... She felt. I was sorry for that. I was sorry for what had happened to me, I could see in the sadness and anger that her eyes could not hide. "That does not count. It does not deserve to be remembered, because it was nothing. "You do not want to ... I do not want to do this to you ..." Lauren was clearly divided. She did not say it, but I knew her head was bubbling with thoughts. - I want to. I want you to show me what it's like to give it to me this way. Because the only way I know is the wrong one, and I need you to make me forget it. She looked at me with some desperation even, and I knew that an internal conflict was killing her. But I wanted to take all doubts from her. So I stared into her eyes and repeated, silently asking her to believe the truth that had been used in every little bit of that phrase. "I want you to." I want you to erase it from me. I want you to be the first and only to make love to me that way. "You have no idea ... You have no idea how much I love you ..." I shut her up with a kiss. She returned, too lost to continue denying my request. Too lost even to think of anything. I do not know how, but she managed to pull my panties up to her ankles. When I found myself, she was already completely naked, sitting on her heels and bringing me up her legs, keeping me with my back to her there. I did not see any of this happen because, although I really wanted the time to come, I could not help but be nervous. It was not fear at all: I would trust her with my own life. But the anxiety and the slight panic I felt were involuntary, like trauma developed in childhood. I felt an icy liquid being passed in my back entrance, but it immediately became hot as Lauren pulled her fingers away. I waited with my eyes closed, remembering that it was there. That it was the person I trusted the most in the world, and that I was only doing it because I wanted to. And I wanted to. But I was too nervous to keep my heart beating at the right speed. She kissed my neck provocatively, deliberately touching the points she knew to be most sensitive. One of his hands held my waist gently, not squeezing, and the other flew to my clit. I could not see her, because she had her back to me, but it made me remember, every second, that she was there.I felt the head of his limb touch my entrance and I shuddered. I squeezed her hand tightly around my waist, which was a mistake: Lauren immediately noticed that I was shaking. "You're sure ..." She started in my ear, and hearing his voice gave me a new wave of security and comfort. - Have. I replied simply. "You have to relax ..." I took it as the sound of his voice vibrated to force me a little harder against his cock. It was when I could identify her there that my body relaxed, because the trauma constantly reminded me of flashes of the night I was raped. I felt the head of his cock come into me and I stood still, trying to get used to the docking. I wanted her to continue to say something, desperate to identify her voice and make my body stay receptive to it. Lauren opened the buttons on my shirt to give me a better feel. He ran one of his hands all over my trunk, without squeezing anything, very softly. It was as if she wanted to highlight the difference between what we were doing now and what they did to me one day. It was as if I simply wanted to make my body recognize his touch. I relaxed a little more, feeling her sink deeper inside me. Carefully, slowly, ready to stop the movement at any moment. But it was no use fooling me: I was uncomfortable. I could not relax completely, but I was still glad I was not in pain. She was careful. As it always had been. I threw my head back, breathing into his neck and trying to feel the scent of her cream. I could not feel anything, and my body immediately closed again. Suddenly, Lauren turned our bodies to the left and threw us forward, making me have to rest my hands on the mattress and stay on all fours. I did not understand what she was doing. The sudden movement made me close even more. With eyes still closed, I felt his body lean against mine for a moment: It was as if his arms were trying to reach something, and the next moment we returned to the original position, with me sitting on his lap with his back to her. At no time had his body left mine. "Open your eyes ..." She said a little breathlessly at the foot of my ear. I obeyed. Ahead of us, one of the closet doors was open. She had opened it. From it, a mirror hung from top to bottom, perfectly showing the inverted image of what Lauren was doing to me. I could see her now. My hands tightened on hers, which in turn were firm on both sides of my waist. His mouth bit the lobe of my ear provocatively, just the way she knew it drove me crazy. I searched her eyes for the reflection in the mirror, and when I met them, I saw that she was already staring at mine. Without looking away, she held me tightly so that I would rise a little on her limb and then push me down again. I could not catch the low moan at the feel of it that way. Feel it and see it. And know - remember - that that was her. - Who else? She sighed low in my ear again, as if she could read my thoughts. I felt every nerve end of my body explode, now myself sitting on it with strength and finally feeling pleasure. Even though I saw how desperate she was to rush things, Lauren remained calm, slow and almost submissive. All he did was wrap his arms around my belly and keep up with me. If I was too slow or too fast, I would let her know, using my own body against hers. It was enough for her to adapt to what I wanted. But I did not have to "fix" anything. She was perfect. It was all perfect. I did not enjoy the penetration from behind. Lauren brought me to the orgasm with her fingers, and the sight of everything through the reflection of the mirror helped me with the sensations, awakening my voyeur side. When she was close to her own climax, she bent meekly to take me on my back.And then, I felt the tranquility take over the two of us, while any movie would scream on the TV. I felt strangely doped, exhausted. I closed my eyes and waited. She got out of bed for some time, and when she came back I felt a damp towel wiping my back. As she leaned against me again, she molded her body to mine in a spoonful position, kissing my shoulders and my neck fondly. I heard the television turned off. She knew that, like me, Lauren did not want to break the silence because that too was perfect. We both knew there were no right words that fit right then, so all we did was stay there until one of us fell asleep first. Probably it would be me. But before I gave in to dreams, just because the will came, I grabbed the ring that wrapped my right ring and, at one time, I put the ring on that same finger of the other hand. If I remembered taking Lauren's own words for reference, I had the option of making that commitment whatever I wanted. I could not tell if she had noticed my movement. But before falling asleep I had the impression of feeling his fingers roll, as usual, the alliance in its newest position.*** - I'm not working today. I spoke with my face on the pillow. Lauren stopped kissing my back instantly. - Because? She asked, and I could already identify the tone of concern in her voice. - I'm not feeling well. She lay beside me. - What's wrong with you? - Tiredness. And I get seasick again. Lauren had seen me vomit twice that week, and had been increasingly worried about my condition. But since I really wanted to spare her, I preferred to hide from her things that seemed unimportant, so it was not as if I was cheating or something. - Okay. I'm not going to work either. I pulled my face from the pillow, staring at her with a damp face. "Of course you will. I said in a bossy tone. - I will not go. I'll take you to the doctor. "You do not have to take me to any doctor." I'm sure this will pass ... "" You said that two weeks ago! " "And besides," I continued, pretending not to hear her, "I have legs." I can go alone if I feel sick. "It looks like I'll let you go alone under these conditions." "A taxi does exactly the same thing as your car. - It's no use. Nothing you say will convince me ... "" Right. Was not it today that you had that meeting you've been waiting for a month? She kept staring at me, possibly processing my words. - Shit! Lauren stood up, looking around for something. When he found his cell phone, he automatically dialed a decorated number. "I'll tell Ally to cancel ..." I jumped out of bed and took the phone from her before she could complete the number. I lay back on the mattress on my stomach, with the device under my belly. - I want my cell phone back. She said, trying to use a monotone in her voice. - You are going to work. "I told you I'm not going." If you get worse ... - I will not get worse! Stop treating me like a child! "Then stop acting like one!" - Fuck you, Lauren! - I answered, throwing one of the pillows in her - Or rather, it goes to work! - I will not go! I looked at her furiously, knowing that it was time to use my wild card. "If you do not go, I'll strike." She opened her mouth in disbelief. His expression immediately changed from full security to something like "How could you play so low?" The threat of a lack of sex was always a good choice for anyone, especially when it came to Lauren. I sighed, trying to get them talking again as adults. "I will not get worse. If anything happens, I'll call you. If you have to, you can come here and take me to a doctor. Can we do it this way? Lauren still had that look of disbelief, so I waited for common sense to come back to her. When she finally seemed to have thought of the proposal, she spoke again. "What if you feel bad?" - Do not worry. What can happen so bad that I can not solve it myself? At the most sickness. She looked at me, still wondering if it was a good idea to accept that. - I promise. I repeated, wanting her to believe me. Lauren huffed. - It's all right. And so, after promising her three more times that I would call her, whatever happened or what time it was, I managed to get her out of the house. Of course, that did not make her stop contacting me, and by noon I had counted five of her calls, "just to make sure everything was fine." "Either you stop calling me all the time, or I'll turn off my cell phone." You choose. I did not want to be rude, but for a moment I felt myself being chased by a maniac. Of course as the maniac in question was Lauren I was not scared. But damn it, she was exaggerating. And all I wanted was to rest. She promised me she would call less often. It was already something. I took the unoccupied cell phone to call mr. Blake, justifying my lack. He did not seem annoyed, and wished me improvements.
