Pov Camila The next morning it started rainy. I was only able to wake up at 9:50 a.m. in the morning by the noise that a few drops were making against the window of my room. My body still resembled soft gelatin a little, making my urge to get out of bed nil. Before I even checked, I knew I was alone. The weight, the smell and the warmth of her body were not there, I could still feel it with my eyes closed. Maybe because I was getting used to these things, but her absence was immediately picked up by some nerve endings in my body, and then, unconsciously, I knew I was alone. I turned on the bed, still lazily, and found a paper beside me with a few words and a key. Curiosity woke me up immediately, so I took the paper and read Lauren's perfect handwriting: I went to work. I did not want to wake her. This key opens the door to the room. She's yours. Do you want to have dinner with me tonight? I love you. Ass: Lauren. My eyes lingered on the last sentence, as if there were some hidden meaning there, as if I wanted to understand what exactly she meant by it. '' I love you. '' '' Master. "I relay those two words, imagining the different forms and intonations she would give to the phrase in saying it. Imagining the words coming out of her mouth as her eyes showed me that it was true. I melted like a fool on the pillow, bringing the paper close to her face and trying to feel her scent there, looking like a romantic pre-adolescent and in love with the most perfect of the enchanted princesses. - I love you too. I spoke softly. "I love you very much." I wondered if I would have the courage to say it out loud if we were face to face, as an answer to her statement in the living and in color. To confess to myself the most obvious of truths was easy, even because there was no way to try to convince myself otherwise, but to confess my soul to her was a little more dangerous. But not confessing how much I loved her was weighing. Not because she needed to know, but because a part of me wanted to scream it out in my lungs, as if somehow I could free myself from my own prison. Unfortunately, the other part in me kept me stuck to my fears and uncertainties, believing that the '' revelation '' - not so surprising - would be too much for her goodwill. I still could not tell her that. And this fact was hopeless. And the fact that I needed to make that clear was even worse. I stood still staggering, feeling my heart boil with the words written by Lauren and her vote of confidence. I knew she was afraid of my actions, and imagined how difficult it must have been for her to give me the choice whether to leave her or not. I wondered if, if I left, she would come after me. I thought so. The words of the day when she told me the whole truth were still fresh in my memory, and though she seemed a bit unbalanced at the time, it seemed to me to be quite true and determined. So if I really left, I would not be surprised to have her chasing me like some kind of predator. I took a warm and invigorating shower. As usual, I remembered the night before, but this time I had to stick to the details a bit more. Just as Lauren had been the first person I'd ever really enjoyed, she'd now become the first person to touch me so intimately, and to realize that was so wonderful. I wondered then what else she would be the first from now on. I prepared a modest breakfast, without wanting to take many things out of the place.As it was already 11:30 a.m., I ate so little that my lunch would not be harmed. I wondered then where exactly I would have lunch, but I knew that the rest of that day depended on what I was about to do. More nervous than I wanted to be, I picked up my phone and, with a note in my other hand, dialed the number on it. - Hello? Just as Lauren's voice came on the other side of the line, I felt my face suddenly boil, so I knew it must be as red as a ripe tomato. I tried not to think that my shame had anything to do with the recollections of our intimate night, because that, besides making no sense - since I was no innocent virgin - made me look like an idiot. "Hi ..." "That's all I've been able to answer. - Camz? - Yeah, it's me. - What happened? She asked in a worried tone of voice. - Anything. It's okay ... "As I spoke, I felt my face boil more and more, and then I felt self-hate for being so incredibly immature - I'm sorry to disturb you ... - It's not disturbing you. "I just wanted to talk to Ally. Lauren was silent, pondering my words. - Ally? - Yeah ... - You wanna talk to her? About what? "Well ... It's a private matter ..." I replied, already feeling the tension contracting the muscles in my neck. "Ah ..." She sounded pensive, perhaps wondering what kind of private affair I would have with her secretary and best friend who, incidentally, did not like me. "Just a minute. I did not have to wait that long. Almost immediately, on the other side of the line, a female voice answered me. - Hello? Hi, Ally. It's Camila. Sorry to bother you, I'm sorry, but I need your help. I thought maybe we could have lunch together if you did not have something better to do, of course. Was that so? When I got nervous about Ally, I acted like a perfect chatterbox. When it was Lauren who made me nervous, I was speechless. My total lack of sense was beginning to irritate me deeply. - Uh ... - It's about Lauren. I need your opinion. She seemed to ponder. "Well, I do not know if I can go." I only have one hour of lunch ... "I heard Lauren's voice interrupting her, saying something incomprehensible. - All right, I can go. My boss is very generous you know. I smiled discreetly at her joke, mainly because she had made a joke with me, something I never thought would happen. "Great ... Can we meet at a restaurant near Lauren's?" I do not know anything here ... "I said, trying to appear relaxed and at ease at the same time, but with my hands clenched so tightly that the knots on my fingers were already numb. - Write down the address. I quickly reached for the folded paper on the bedside table and a pen, noting the number and the street Ally passed me. "It's fifteen minutes from there." Is it good for you at 13:30? - It's great. - Right. I'll take your number for that call. Until then. "Until." I heard Lauren's voice on the line almost immediately, saying a "hello" a little hurriedly. - I'm still here. I said, smiling. "Well, now that you and my secretary have secrets behind me, do I have reason to be concerned?" "No. You'd be gray for nothing." "Okay, I'll try to forget the morbid curiosity that's eating me up now. She laughed lightly, but loud enough to make me feel warmer and happier. "Have you read my note?" I felt my heart race suddenly. - Li ... - So ... dinner with me? - Oh yes of course. - How nice! - She said, looking genuinely happy with my answer - I'll come by at 8:30 p.m. to get you, I'll be waiting in the car. All right? - It's all right. Should I wear a long dress for the occasion? Again she laughed. Again, I smiled warmly, and suddenly I felt a stupid desire to kiss the phone. - You can dress as you see fit. I think a warm overcoat is enough. - Ok ... - See you later. A kiss. - A kiss. The sentence came out more like a sigh, and again I wished I did not act like an idiot when I was talking to her. Fortunately, she did not seem to realize that my sanity was falling apart like cotton candy. The next second, the phone was mute, informing me that Lauren had more important things to do than waiting for me to hang up.I absentmindedly unfolded the paper used to write down the restaurant address suggested by Ally, and I realized that was the note that morning. I glanced once more at the last sentence of the paper, and as if I were not alone, I spoke in a very low voice, only to feel the good feeling of the words falling from my throat. - By the way: I love you, too. *** I would catch a bus if I knew which line would get me closer to the address I wrote down. Since that was not the case, I asked the porter to hail a cab for me, and then I was already waiting for Ally at a table for two. Although the place was still quite elegant - what I had been accepting more often, since nothing in those surroundings could be cheap - seemed to be less expensive than the two restaurants I had been with Lauren before. She arrived punctually on time. Feeling more intimidated than I wished, I tried to appear as alien as I could be to her presence, but I looked more like a pinto cocked than anything else. - Hi ... - I started, getting up as soon as she caught up with me. - Thank you for doing this. - It's all right. "I think we have to have lunch soon, since you have to go back-" "Lauren let me take the time. I stared at her, astonished that I'd never imagined such a sympathetic leader in her. As if she could read my thoughts, she hurried to speak, "Do not think she's always like this. Of course going out with you had something to do with the outbreak of kindness. Either that, or else it is the spirit of Christmas. She laughed again, which seemed to surprise her a little, but she was not rude at all. Of course I would not let go of the formalities between us, since we did not even know each other-apart from the fact that she didnÙt look me in the face-but I could swear Ally was struggling to be as cordial as she could with me. The restaurant we were in was specializing in pasta, where all the dishes looked delicious. Not knowing the seasoning of the house, I followed her suggestion. As we waited for the dishes, I felt compelled to start the affair, since I could feel their disguised concern. Then I remembered that although I had said that it was about Lauren, I had not given any further details. Maybe she was thinking I planned to kill her or something. "It's a simple thing, I guess I did not even have to get you out of work ..." I started, realizing for the first time that I had messed her up for nothing and immediately blushing for it. "I just need your opinion on what give it to her. She smiled nonchalantly as she looked up. "You took me from there to ask me that?" I really did not need to. I felt my face boil with shame. "No, I did not mean it that way!" She hurried to say, seeing that I probably looked like a giant strawberry now. "What I meant was you did not have to ask for my opinion on that. Buy anything, she'll love it. "Does she like everything you give her?" I asked, feeling a little less bad. She hates everything they give her. I've never hit a gift. But if you give a DVD about Hindu meditation techniques, she will love it. I wondered if it was an exaggeration that Ally stressed my name every time she referred to Lauren, but I thought it best not to voice the doubt. "Um ... I wanted to give her something she really liked. "Like I said, I can not help you." I never got it myself. "She does not need anything?" I felt stupid before I even finished the sentence. It was obvious that Lauren did not need anything, because if she had to, she would. She was the kind of person who could afford that. "No." She answered my almost rhetorical question, and silently thanked Ally for not laughing at my face. -I do not know ... What are you going to give your husband? Again regret came to me like an ill-punched punch, so I immediately hated myself for saying those words. Ally stared into my eyes, and I wished she did not think I was comparing, in any way, the relationship I had with Lauren she had with her husband. "I did not mean-" I started, desperate, but Ally interrupted me. - Can I ask you something? "And without waiting for a response from me, she continued." Try to relax next to me, your discomfort is giving me agony. I do not bite, and I'm not here to judge every word that comes out of your mouth. As you will understand someday, I am not a person given the preconceptions. It was not like I could choose to be nervous or not near her. I just stayed. Since I could not do what she asked and calm me down, I just had to keep staring at her, hoping we would be interrupted by anything, whether by the waiter or a shower of burning meteors. Fortunately, I was presented with the first option, so we were silent for some time, both locked in on their own plates. Occasionally, Ally suggested something, but then refuted her own idea by saying, "No, maybe something else." I felt a little calmer with how quickly she seemed to have forgotten the subject at hand. We have not reached any conclusion. Even though I was expecting some help from her, I was not annoyed or disappointed. Since I now knew that pleasing Lauren was a difficult task, I could not blame her for that. After some time debating options - one more Ally's monologue than a dialogue with her - we left the restaurant and walked a few streets. Although we did not have many issues to discuss, I was glad to note that both were struggling to make it not unpleasant. As I imagined that much of the time I would spend with Ally would be filled with an unpleasant silence, the few words exchanged between us managed to make me more excited than I thought I would be. We came to an imposing building, and when I looked at Ally I noticed that she had guided us there. - Where are we? - In a mall. It did not look like a mall outside, but it was upon entering that I noticed the wide variety of shops. The difference from this place to what I had been with Lauren a few days ago was that, here, I would not be surprised if I saw some sort of banner at the entrance with the words '' Just come in if you have a lot of money. '' "Lauren told me that you promised her that someday she would buy the clothes she wanted. That calculator! "She sent you to bring me here?" But you asked me to help you. Just, for God's sake, do not tell me I'm gonna have to choose lingerie or something. She closed her eyes trying to push the thought away, and I had to laugh at her reaction. - No ... She just wants to buy expensive clothes. I wanted to understand this tara for spending- "" It's not cheap, believe me. She is not a consumerist, nor a bit materialistic. Lauren just has the craze of wanting to overeat the women she likes. So it seems a bit obsessed sometimes. "Did she do this to her?" Ally looked at me in surprise. - '' She '' ? - Beatrice. "You know her?" - Know. Lauren told me a while back. She sighed. - Yes, she did it to her. She looked away, and I did the same. It was clear that Ally did not like Beatrice either, and it was clear she had a reason for it."Well ..." I started, wanting to change the subject. "I can not buy anything here, even if I wanted to. I think I'm going to end up spending almost everything I have on her present. "Oh, yes," she said, remembering something and tugging at her purse. When he took out his wallet and opened it, he handed me a card and a small paper. "Lauren asked me to give it to you." The password is noted on this paper. - Did I get a credit card? "She asked that everything you bought be paid on that card." "I will not wear that." I just want to buy her a present. "If you come back with nothing, I run the risk of getting fired." I stared at her in amazement. - Is that serious? "Well, no. But she's really going to be annoyed. I sighed. Since I had nothing in mind, I agreed to look at some women's clothing stores while trying to get some idea of what to give Lauren. It was hard enough to think of anything, since the present in question should be given to someone who really had everything already. Ally seemed to manipulate me into buying things, saying she needed clothes herself, but just not coming out empty-handed because she carried some of my bags. I bought more elegant dresses - wondering what the damn time I was going to wear them - plus a couple of pairs of shoes, two bags and more winter jackets. I swore to myself that I would curse Lauren to death when I found her. - This is ridiculous. - I concluded. "That's exactly how Lauren is. - Ally said, paying for her own purchases with the card that was now mine - Anyone in their position would take advantage of the situation with a smile from ear to ear. At least I would. I knew it, but I would not have made it clear to her that the reason I did not take advantage of the situation was because of my discomfort in once again being a usurper with Lauren. Besides, we had a whole past that involved her spending with me, and maybe from some trauma or whatever, watching her spend rivers of money for me as if I were her burden was a little humiliating. - That's enough. If she says I should have bought more, I'll make her swallow one of those shoes. Ally laughed nonchalantly, and whenever she did that I felt automatically lighter. "You act in a different way than I thought I would." I thought it best not to try to understand what she meant by that. As it seemed not to be a bad thing, I left it there, focusing now on the first store I saw in front of me. It was an exclusive watch for women. I looked questioningly at Ally, as if asking for consent. - I said you can buy anything. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that. We stepped in, scanning each of the watches on the glass shelves. The variety of models was so large that it hampered the selection process. I then focused on only part of the side shelf, determined to get out of there with something. When the two of us finally reached a consensus on which of those models was the most interesting (even though it was not the ideal gift), I went to the saleswoman informing her of the choice. When I went to pay, Ally handed me the damn card so I could get it. "I will not pay with her card." I said, looking weakly at his hands. - It's your card. And Lauren said ... - I'll talk to her later. I'll make it clear that it was my fault. Sorry, but you do not have to pay her gift with that card. She seemed to agree, even silent. Finally, I paid for the gift - with my money, not hers - and saw myself close to bankruptcy. Ally tried to cheer me up, saying that it had been a great choice and that Lauren would love, but I still felt a little insecure about it. "Let's see if she gets to work right now." She said humorously, so I noticed her gradual, discreet change in attitude about me. If on the day we met, Ally seemed doubtful of me, today her simplicity in talking to me and accompanying me told me that perhaps she did not hate me as I thought. I smiled back, and wanted her to understand the gratitude I felt at that moment. "I think you need to leave now." - She said, looking at the clock - If I remember correctly, you have a date today. - What time is it? - 7:30 p.m. - Shit! I said, arranging the bags that fell from my shoulders and already making a signal for a taxi that passed and did not stop. - I'm in the car. I'll give you a lift. - Oh thanks. I will not disturb "No. It's the way I'm going. We kept walking to the place where her car was parked Ally walking and I almost ran.I threw everything into the backseat, except for the clock that was wrapped tightly and securely in my lap, and I sat in the passenger seat. The drive back to Lauren's house was quieter than any time I'd spent with Ally that afternoon. She seemed to think a lot, and I did not want to interrupt or even thank her for the company. As soon as I stopped paying attention, we arrived at my destination. She jumped out of the car, helping me with the shopping and the various combinations of handle positions. When I finally got to my feet, with no hair in my eyes and with the bags temporarily firm, I turned to her. "Thank you so much for doing this to me. And sorry if I messed up your work. "Well, you really messed up Lauren's job. She had to turn around without me. She said, with an evil smile on the corner of her mouth. "Do not be surprised if she has a headache or a bad mood. - It's all right. I said, smiling back, even though it was not for me. "I'll apologize to her later." Thank you one more time. She continued to stare at me, and I noticed that her expression began to take on an extremely serious air. Unconsciously, I felt threatened, so I turned to enter the building too quickly, but the escape would not be easy. - Camila? I stopped in the fourth step and looked back at Ally, beside the parked car. The serious tone I saw in her eyes mixed with unprecedented insecurity was enough to make me sure that her next words, whatever they were, would show that she was not kidding. "Do not hurt her. She could not stand it. It was not a threat. It was a request, and as much as his voice sounded steady, it was quite clear. Ally was not giving a warning, but showing, without mask, a fear I had not seen before. Afraid to see your best friend bleed again. - I will not do that. My voice came out serious, firm, as I had not heard for some time. But I was not surprised, because this was such absolute certainty that there was no hesitation. Still, I wondered if Ally could feel it. She continued to stare at me with those serious but at the same time insecure eyes, making a thorough analysis of my character. I would not be surprised if I knew she had psychic powers like that. It was amazing how intense her eyes were, and if I had any doubts about what I felt, I might even be intimidated. But I was not. "For some reason, I believe you." Our eyes still kept in touch, but Ally seemed to realize that there was no trace of lies in me. So for the first time since I met her, I could feel some kind of complicity in her. And to make matters worse, I could not explain how or why I felt it, but I knew it was a strong enough feeling to not be able to ignore it. When I realized, Ally had already got into the car and started, disappearing down the long, icy street in front of me. It took me some time to stop thinking about Ally's attitude, but I had to do it because I was already late. The clock now ticked 20:10, and not only had I not yet showered, but I also did not know what clothes I would wear or how I would prepare for that night. *** Although Lauren and I were slowly getting along, the two of us had not become as simple as most couples. And to think of her and me as a couple, though it made me radiant, still made me nervous. I took a quick shower, going against my will to linger under the hot water and perfume myself enough for her. But since my time was short and the last thing I wanted was to show her that I was not punctual, I hurried to do everything. So, in less than twenty minutes, I was already in the shower, with hair that had been combed, a makeup so discreet that it could go unnoticed and dressed properly for the winter temperature outside.I wanted to have produced more, but that would mean making her wait. So I went down at 8:34 PM, already exhausted, wearing an all-new wardrobe: simple black leggings, black boots with a long barrel over her, a dark gray wool dress, a pretty black overcoat and to finish I put some accessories (rings, earrings, bracelets) and a black scarf. Before I went downstairs, however, I made sure I took off all the labels of the clothes I'd never worn, and took a quick look at the large mirror that was inside the closet of her bedroom. I surprised myself. I was not a show, but I was beautiful. Not beautiful, but beautiful, in a simple way. My expression seemed more alive, my eyes were not so sad. My lips, without lipstick, were even fuller of color, and then I wondered if this had anything to do with my new frame of mind. It was obvious he had. I went to the garage looking for her, but her vacancy was empty. I walked quickly to the huge entrance hall of the building, both to get there quick and warm. I reached the stairs that led to the sidewalk and was almost knocked out by a stupidly cold wind, but before I could think, I saw a silver Porsche Cayenne erased and stopped a little to the right. As I turned to look, the headlights flashed at me, warning me that this was the right car. My pulse, for a change, began to accelerate. Before, I was not used to feeling it every time I saw myself about to approach someone, but lately feeling more adolescent was becoming a habit. I could not help it, it was involuntary: Whenever I realized that Lauren was within ten yards of me, my heart insisted on wanting to get out of the mouth. That was the way it was. I crossed my arms to protect myself from the cold and ran to the car. The hitchhose door opened for me, so the next second I was already seated and locked inside the car with her. I stared at the Porsche's light panel in front of me like an imbecile. I knew she would look at me without even trying to disguise, which was making my face get warmer and hotter by the second. "You look red. His voice came out amused. - I am? "I was stupid, not even taking my eyes off the panel. - Are you ashamed? Lauren was about to laugh in my face, I could feel it without even needing to look at her. I was convinced that if she did, she would be perfectly right: I was pathetic, and being unable to look at her just because our night together had been a bit '' different '' was so unfortunate that I was ashamed even to feel shame. And worst of all, I was pretty sure she knew that was the reason. "Did I tell you that you look pretty ashamed?" She said, still amused by my lack of response, then started the car and set us on the road. - Thanks. That's all I could say. To make her point out the fact that I was embarrassed only made me feel more ashamed, but I knew she loved doing it. The ride was short and silent. I did not ask Lauren where we were going or how her day had been, but she did not seem to care, although I was sure that if she gave her a chance to talk to me, she would talk all the way through. *** After some time, we arrived at a small and bright restaurant with a discreet and clear decoration. The waiter guided us to a small table for two, handing us the menu and pulling out as soon as we ordered drinks, so that we would feel at ease. I removed the overcoat and left it on my lap. Lauren seemed to be following every move I made, which made me more and more nervous and made me blush violently for no reason. She seemed to pay more attention to my dress, I think she realized that she is new. - Are you hungry? - Not really. Excuse. I do not usually eat dinner, you know ... "" I know. I'm not hungry either. She looked at me with tenderness and fatigue, and every second I felt more melted by that look. "So ..." She started. "Are you going to tell me what you and my secretary are up to?" I smiled at the idea of a curious Lauren. "You'll know in a few days." "But you do not have to worry, I'm not taking her away from you any more." "Well, as long as she does not start getting you away from me ... I could tell you that nothing or anyone was important enough to get me out of it, but I preferred to be objective.""She will not do that." - Promise? Not even if she calls you for a fondue and I'm sick and have a fever in bed? - She said, inventing any frightening situation and making an abandoned dog face. Lauren, my dear. All I want is to be alone with you in a bed. - Promise. She smiled. A beautiful, beautiful, but tired smile. "We should not have come." I could prepare something in your house ... "" In our house. - For dinner. You seem to need rest. "I tried not to think about what she said. - The day was long. Ally who really saves me every day. I realize this when I have to deal with things without it for one day. "We should have left it for another day." "No, I need to talk to you today. So that's what the 'dinner' was all about? "We could have talked at home." "No, we could not. "She stopped right there, so I wondered if we could not because she would sleep when she got home or because we have not been able to do anything but sex until pretty much all the time we've been alone. Given her appearance of exhaustion, I believed in the first option, but the way she looked at me stubbornly made me think otherwise. - Ok ... What? She sighed, straightening in her chair and folding her hands on the table. "Well ... Do you know what day it is?" - Know. "Then you know we're near Christmas." Ah. The Christmas. A shiver ran down my spine, but I did not wince. "You know that Christmas is traditionally a family holiday. "I know ..." It was not a question, but I still answered. - And you understand that ... Well, I have to spend Christmas with mine. I do not see them all year long anymore. "Lauren stared at me with cautious eyes, as if approaching a very delicate subject. But I understood. "They must miss you." Yes, you have to go. She continued to stare at me, now a little doubtful. "So ... Are you okay?" - Clear. I said, looking more secure than there was in me, and feeling my words of understanding pushing her even farther away. Even so, it was not an option to ask her to stay. I was not the most unselfish person in the world, but I was not so selfish as to try to make her stay just because I needed her. Lauren smiled openly, still staring at me, and then, as if doing this every day, she reached out and touched mine, also on the table. The act had been instinctive, I could imagine, but his touch still had that care we kept between us. His fingers touched the back of my hand very gently, and the path was followed by a little warm tingling. I stood still, enjoying the touch. "I thought you would not. Thanks. I had nothing to accept or fail to accept. It was her life, and I had no right to interfere with it."Do not thank me for that. I said, ungraciously, following with my eyes the paths that her finger was still on my skin. - I thank you for everything. - I turned my eyes to yours and saw that she was serious - I know you still have feelings for me ... I did not want to talk about it. It was true, I had hurts, many hurts saved. But that was not the time to go back to the past and remember what hurt me or stopped hurting me. Not when I had decided to let go of my doubts. Not when she was touching me. - Are you going tomorrow? I asked, wanting to divert the conversation to another path. A less difficult road to deal with. She kept staring at me for some time, saying nothing. I wondered if she had heard, or if she had understood the question. "Why do you insist on excluding yourself from all the sentences that include me?" - As? I asked, confused. - We are going tomorrow. I kept staring at her, not actually processing the information. At that moment, the waiter came back bringing our drinks and the couvert. Lauren thanked him and dismissed him, turning to me again, still in the same position. "You understood that you would come along when you said you would visit my family, did not you?" I had not exactly considered that possibility. Though he had already thought of her, it was more of a wish than anything else. It was out of the question for Lauren to take me to meet her family. To begin with, we were only together for a few days less than a week to be exact. I coughed softly to clear my throat, trying to look normal. "I did not understand-" "Well, you got it now, right?" I go, and you go with me. I wanted her to invite me to join her. In fact, I wanted to, because that meant a lot. First, I would not have to walk away from her, fearing for my own health. Second, I would know more about Lauren's life and the people who are part of it. Third, because watching her want my company made me think it was important. And that thought grew every day. And along with it, my mood, my joy, and many other good things hidden so deep inside me that they seemed to be no more. "I'll try to buy the tickets tomorrow morning for the 11:00 flight." I think it's a little more than ten hours' journey, so at about 9 a.m., we sort of hit London. - Lon ... dres? - London. My parents live there. Okay. I'd spend Christmas with Lauren. In London. With her family. How could she be more frightened and happy? "I did not ... I ... I did not know what to say. But I knew I had to say something, because the way Lauren looked at me, I probably seemed to be very close to a panic crisis. His fingers, before gently tracing the back of my hand, now closed on her as if asking for confidence. I looked again at her hand, now covering mine delicately but firmly, and as simple as that act was, I wanted to memorize every little detail of it. - Do not worry. I'm going to be around all the time. I stared at his eyes quickly, my reaction being faster than the ability to block the thought that popped into my mind like lightning. I did not want to think about it, I did not want to remember, but God was being cruel to me again. That's what you said last time. I knew I had not spoken out loud. I knew that I had managed to keep this self-hatred, and I thanked him silently for doing so. I did not want to play it in her face, as if reminding her of what she did would make me feel better. Still, by the simple change in his expression and his eyes, I could see that even without my help, Lauren thought exactly the same thing as me. "I promise ..." Her voice trailed off.Her eyes flickered, as if she were deeply ashamed of the memory, and the next second I felt her hand move away from mine. I wanted to say that I believed her. I wanted to say that I knew she would take care of me, and that I would not let anyone know about our secret. I wanted to say that I knew she would try to make me comfortable with her family, perhaps even making me feel part of her, but above all I wanted her to touch me again. Without thinking, I leaned forward a bit and reached for his hand, a little more force than I wished. I wrapped my fingers around her, tightening her skin tightly, and calmed down a bit as I felt the contact between the two of us again. It was curious how her touch calmed me at certain moments, and in others it would kindle me. But I did not want to philosophize about it. Lauren seemed to lighten up a bit with my act, and I knew why. It was the first time that the attitude of seeking her, of reducing the distance between us, had departed from me and not from her. It was the first time I had not waited passively for her decisions, and especially, it was the first time I showed what I felt for her. - Tell me about your family. The papers had reversed themselves. Now, it was I who tried to give her confidence. It was I who tried to get her some reaction, some interaction, but she, unlike me, gave me what I asked for. Lauren told me about the people I'd meet. He said that each of them were scattered around the world, representing and taking care of their father's companies in different countries. From what she implied, we would spend Christmas at a small party that included her parents, a sister and her husband, a single brother and the two of us, which made me excited by the fact that there would not be a huge amount of people to judge me as the newest family fortune-teller. As she spoke, her fingers ran smoothly back and forth across my hand, running down her back in particularly nice spots, palm in perfect circles, reaching the wrist and inside of my forearm. I was attentive to everything she said, but her touch began to take away my concentration as soon as I accepted to take one (and only one!) Cup of some wine chosen by her. He did not understand why, because his movements were not strong or insinuating. It was obvious that a lot of those feelings were overwhelming me because of the little ingested wine, enough to make me "let go," but it was as if Lauren went through the act of making love through simple touches, stimulating each knot of the my fingers, each bare wire beneath my skin, methodically tracing in me strange shapes but at the same time incredibly sensual. I came to the conclusion that I was more lost than I had imagined. *** It was a little before 11:00 PM when we finally got to her apartment. All the way from the restaurant to the building, I kept thinking for a second at how the hell Lauren had managed, with an innocent affection in her hand, to leave me completely aroused in a way she did not seem to know. I stared at her from the corner of my eye each time we stopped at a crossroads, finding her resting her head against the back of her seat with her eyes closed, so I realized that she must have been really exhausted and not at all interested in sex that night. Shit. I entered the dark apartment, groping for the switch. Lauren found him first, turning on the lights and keeping my nose on the wall. I walked to the room where my things were and she followed me. "You do not have any other suitcases, do you?" She asked, looking at the various bags and bags left in the corner of the room. "No." "I'll lend you some of mine." She said this as she pulled her overcoat lightly, yawning unnoticed and at the same time soft and sweet, something I never thought possible. I continued to stare at her like a nymphomaniac in heat, wishing more than anything that those fingers were touching me now in far more intimate places than before. - Shower. She said as she pointed her finger at her room, apparently too tired to utter a complete sentence. I watched the bad way out of my room and walked down the hallway as I tried to keep my eyes open. How, God, could she be so ... so ... she? And what was happening to me, after all? Since when was I given to explode in hormones near a woman? That's right, it was not '' a woman, '' it was THE WOMAN. "I was so hot. - Hey! I said, reaching for her in her bedroom before she entered the bathroom. "Can I wear that shirt?" - She's yours. You look so much better in yourself. She was shirtless and without the top, just in social pants, picking up a pair of pants and a sweatshirt to wear afterwards.Delicious. She went into the bathroom, pushing the door behind her. I went back to my room and took off all the clothes, wearing the shirt that was mine now. I brushed my teeth, looked at myself in the mirror for a while, in doubt whether I would try to seduce her or whether I would let her rest. Without reaching any conclusion, I poured some water on my face and went back to her room. The walls and objects swirled around me, which I noticed was the effect of alcohol on my unaccustomed body, but I did not care. The bathroom door was still propped up. I was overwhelmed by a mixture of sensations - a little curiosity and a lot of promiscuity - so without even realizing it, I was already inside the huge bathroom with white and black tiles. Lauren did not notice my presence. I remembered that the box was mirrored on the inside, making anyone inside it see nothing but its own reflection, so I just had to be careful not to make any kind of noise. I sat very still on the closed lid of the toilet, hugging my legs as I cringed on top of him and rested my chin on my knees for the first time admiring Lauren for real. She was beautiful. Not the kind of '' of course I'd sleep with her, '' but kind of '' please, please, eat me. Everything in her - every muscle, every pint, every tattoo - was millimetrically perfect, and the effect of water and steam on that scene, along with the percentage of alcohol that ran through my bloodstream, made it look like a dream. An erotic dream. Delicious! I watched each movement, as if to decorate them. His fingers roaming in her hair, her hands soaping her breasts, back, belly ... Coming down ... Coming down ... God! The neck, the line of the jaw, shoulders, arms, hands ... Belly, back, thighs ... Hell, her knees could be beautiful! And all this time, I stood still, motionless, just admiring her. I felt pain in my left knee, so I realized that I was biting. I ignored it. The shower was off. This was the time to get up in a hurry and give Camila one, stepping on the steam-soaked tile and banging my teeth on the counter. But for some obscure reason, I stood there, still motionless, still biting my knee, which would begin to bleed at some point. Lauren opened the stall to pull the insurer's towel, stumbling over a skinned knee voyeur sitting on her moron. - Whoa! She looked surprised but not desperate to cover herself. In fact, she did not cover herself, simply reaching for the towel and drying herself as if she were perfectly alone. That meant I was still seeing - and staring - at everything: Each beautiful, glorious inch. Delicious! DELICIOUS! - Did you know that this gives jail in some places of the world? - She started. - We're even now. It took her a while, but at last she seemed to remember the occasion to which I referred. "I did not go into your bathroom." She said, opening a simple smile and taking two steps toward me. "You who came naked all serelepe to the room without paying attention. "Even so ..." I replied, watching her take a few more slow steps. - No. What you did was much worse. Now I'm at a disadvantage. She let the phrase loose in the air, as if she had no intention of explaining what she meant. I also did not want to go into any explanation, because she was standing in front of me, deliciously naked - God bless her - still wet and hot from the freshly sloshed bath, and at the perfect height ... Or she was very tired and slow , or I was too fast. On impulse, I held firmly, no longer very relaxed, and put it fully into my mouth, feeling the scent of expensive soap and the softness of his skin, still not completely stiff. But it did not take long until he could no longer fully accommodate him. He had grown a lot, so I had to relax my throat to get him in a little more. The towel fell to the floor beside her, so I felt her hands touching my head gently. I pulled her closer to me, grabbing her from behind, and before long I could feel her legs tremble more than I was accustomed to feel. I remembered that this must be a consequence of her tiredness, but I could only hope that she would stand up, because I was not going to stop.I did not want to stop. Even struggling to control herself, Lauren's movements grew increasingly abrupt, now pushing herself against my mouth. Her fingers still held my hair gently, making it clear she did not want to hurt me. I looked up at her for the first time. She looked at me more intensely than ever, and the moment her eyes met mine, I felt an insane urge to kiss her. "Are you going to take off that blouse or do you want me to tear it?" In fact, I wanted her to rip. Of course I would regret it later, because I was beginning to love that shirt, but I loved Lauren's thought by taking off my clothes wildly and eating me hard. Alcohol really made me a fool. I ignored the fire that consumed me now with more force, and trying to speed things up before she changed her mind I pulled away a little and started unbuttoning my shirt. I wanted to do it fast, but since I was a little dizzy and nervous, my fingers could only get rid of the first button after a while. I was rescued by Lauren in a matter of seconds. Obviously seeing my deplorable condition, she lifted me and worked the buttons with a fantastic speed, bewildering me with an intense wet kiss. I closed my eyes, letting her finish the job, and simply break up with me. "Should I take your altered state into account and stop here?" She asked breathlessly in my ear, and all I could feel were her hands running hungrily over my body. "If you do not eat me now, I swear I'll tear you out while you sleep!" She let out a loud laugh and forced my legs to tighten around her hips. In the next second, we were already inside the box. Lauren sat me down on the marble bench, along the length of the side wall, and knelt down in front of me as she let her hands slide down my thighs. "Do you want to know what my day was like today?" I did not want to know. As much as I loved to hear her talking banalities to me, however much I cared for her, at that moment I just wanted her to shut up and sneak into me with everything. But I did not answer, so she continued. - My day was difficult. She said, and then kissed me again. "I had to force myself not to go with Ally to see you. - Another kiss - And I ended up leaving the company earlier than I wanted, because I was anxious to see you, so I had to wait until you decided to come down. - Licked around my neck - And all because I could not stop thinking about that beautiful little pussy you have between your legs. She stopped on my breasts. "And your taste." - Bites on my belly. I was already gasping as if I were drowning in my own desire, clinging to Lauren's wet hair and sliding down the honey-wet tile. - Do you know what I think? - She said, finally sitting on your heels and slamming my legs open - I think I'll need to do this every day, so you do not feel ashamed of me. That, Lauren Jauregui. Kill me at once. I felt his hot tongue invade me suddenly, and I let out a moan of pleasure that was made even louder by the echo of the bathroom.She grabbed me by the hips and pulled me closer to her, strategically placing my feet on her shoulders. I was trying to control myself, because I knew that by the time I lowered my guard, my orgasm would come. So the idea of looking at Lauren was not smart at all. With every lick she gave, she lingered a little, watching me as a lioness looks at a fresh boar seasoned with barbecue, a murderous crooked smile on her lips, and the contentment of a ten-year-old child realizing she could fly. She was so intent on herself that she did not notice when she bit my clit harder than she should have, causing me a little momentary pain. - There! I jumped away from her, giving a quick, violent tug at her hair to push her face away from me. "Do not do that!" Only then did I notice that I had been rude, and again blamed alcohol for my unusual behavior. Lauren looked a little shocked at how I spoke and with physical aggression, but her eyes seemed to glow with something. "I'm sorry ..." She gave a simple, fluffy kiss to the place where she had hurt me, still staring into my eyes. "What do you want me to do?" - That you suck me right. The answer came out objective, again rude and dictating. Her eyes shone brighter, her countenance almost turning into a smile. In the next second, she touched me again with the tip of her tongue, carefully testing the spots where I reacted most to her stimuli. - Is that good? Had I lost any detail, or had Lauren really seemed to like me to send her? - Stronger. She obeyed immediately, pressing her tongue harder against my doorway and tearing out gasping groans from my throat. For a while, I let myself enjoy that sensation-probably the best sensation in the world-but as soon as I felt my orgasm approaching, I interrupted. - For! She stopped, resting her face on one of my thighs and staring at me as if waiting for the next instruction. I worked my breath a little, making it less fickle, so I said it again. - Come up here. She rose quickly to her knees as she pulled my legs from her shoulders and placed them gently on the floor. His face was almost the same height as mine now, his body leaning toward me and his mouth very close to mine as his eyes looked at me with submission and love, his incredibly hard cock for those who were not being stimulated at all. Well well. Then the powerful Lauren also liked to be dominated. All right, my dear. I can spend my whole life dominating you. I sighed, feeling all the power of the wine in my head as I stared into his now dark green eyes. I waited, not for lack of courage in saying what I was going to say, but because I wanted to wait for the right moment. When she finally arrived, I ordered in a soft, low voice. - Fuck me at once. The next second, I was on her lap, on her knees on the wet bench, she sitting where I was before. I grabbed her neck so I would not fall, because the rapid movement made me dizzy, but I had nothing to fear because her arms caught me in the familiar cage she was doing around me when we were in that position. I was hit by an invasive, violent kiss, and even if I was a little lost, I corresponded. I felt myself being lifted upright, then snapped into her body, inch by inch, perfectly, and suddenly my night became a little paradise. I had to come up with new words to express how I felt about her, how I wanted her. Or no, he did not have to explain anything. The fact was that I wanted her so much, so much more than I ever thought I wanted anyone, that my sanity would sooner or later be affected in some way. I could not lose her. It was more serious than it seemed. Can you feel how much I love you? Can you feel how much I need you? Do not add up to my life again, please. Please ... "Camz I opened my eyes again and found his nose pressed against mine. She looked at me as if she wanted to make me feel, piece by piece, all the affection and passion she had for me. I took my right hand to his face, following the line of the jaw and trying to contain the heels that the thrusts inside me made. She closed her eyes at my touch and kissed me again, a slow, passionate kiss, uninterrupted even when she spoke again.- My. I was hers. Who else would it be? There was no disputing that, and there was no need. Although it had practically come out in a whisper, the tone of voice accused it was not a question or a request for confirmation. It was a truth, a fact already accepted by her as well as me. We agreed, and that was enough. Lauren started an earthquake where our bodies were connected, pumping into me so hard that something inside would get hurt. Then I felt myself being held tight by his arms so hard that I dreaded my ribs. But I did not feel pain because she had once again touched a magical place near my womb. I moaned, not afraid to be happy, probably reproducing perfectly the audio of an amateur porn movie. Surprisingly, she seemed to be excited by what seemed to me to be sharp choking, and though I could not understand it, I was glad to know that all my oddities were pleasing to her. The orgasm came soon because Lauren had achieved the feat of accurately and repeatedly touching the little paradise-spot that made my body boil. My desire was to shout promiscuous words, but I did not because it would seem vulgar. So, as the heat wave flashed through my body in a burst of sensation, I sighed at the only thing that seemed to fit right now. - Your. I could not tell if she had listened, because she could feel her state of torpor, coming back from her own orgasm. I smoothed her hair with her fingers, gently massaging her scalp that probably hurt from the tugs I gave. I tucked her face into her neck and there I stood, feeling the beating of her heart slow down slowly against my chest and her breathing became calmer. The silence was good, especially when she was close to me. Especially when she was hugging me, stroking with her hands flat on my back, breathing in the sensitive skin of my neck. I was so quiet that a dream was beginning to form inside my head, when I felt her lift me still on her lap. Lauren started the shower, but I did not move. Clinging to her like a koala baby, I let the warm water run down my back, waking me up a little. When finally taking a shower became a very complicated task in the position we were in, I had to let go of it. Neither of us spoke. The silence was still pleasant, as if the first word that was said broke the feeling of romance and magic that floated over our heads. She dried me again, so I wondered if she looked like I could not do it on my own. But I did not complain, because having treated her full of pampering was something I knew many women would die for. We dress quickly. I tried not to face her, so I did not know if she was watching me or not. I left without warning, heading to my room to get a pair of panties and a sweatshirt for the cold night. When I returned, I found her sprawled on the belly-up bed, between pillows and several layers of sheet, duvet and blanket. I immediately felt guilty, hating my selfishness and carelessness in not thinking about the fatigue she felt. I climbed the mountain of cloths and pillows, trying not to make the mattress move much, which was a difficult task since sleeping in Lauren's bed was almost like sleeping on a giant gelatin. I sat carefully beside her and stared at her for a while, her eyes closed, her breathing calm. As if it were not enough of a face, she opened one eye, kept the other closed, peeking to see if I was still alive, and closing it the moment she saw me. "I'm still asleep." You can kiss me. I know you were going to do it. I smiled sincerely, and as a debiloide I wanted to squeeze it until her eyes popped out of her sockets because she was so incredibly cute. Without answering, I leaned closer to her and kissed her gently in the corner of my mouth. "I expected tongues and scratches, but I can make do with it." Fool. But delicious. - Sleep. I've already taken much of your rest. "It was no sacrifice. If you want, you can sexually abuse me while I sleep. - I'll think about it. "You're not going to get me, are you?" I smiled again. - That's good. In saying this, Lauren turned me on the bed and hugged me in our well-known - and preferred - shell position. My sleep now took me quickly, so I let myself be carried away by the feeling of having her there with me, and I allowed myself to relax. Before I could begin to dream, though, I could hear a distant, familiar voice with the characteristic playful tone, but it had its true depth. "I'll remind you to offer wine more often to you." ***
A
