Shouldn't Have Kissed You.

chapter 48

Maya turned herself away from the sun rays that were so much penetrating the curtains in the room that had become hers for the past one week. Another night of her not sleeping at all. To even think that it was one week and still she didn't get any sleep at all.

She drew the duvet on the over her head and tried to close her eyes. She did try and she had been doing that for those past days but the image of the Kimberly and her husband didn't let her close them for that long.

They were there. In front of her. Shouting at each other on things that she didn't even understand herself and then the revolution. The truth coming into light. That's when her world turned upside down. When she realized that she, she had not been the only victim in this relationship alone.

Maya pushed the covers away and walked to the bathroom. Her tears wouldn't let her be for the past one week. She thought that maybe she would cry for a day or two but they never stopped running down her cheeks.

She turned the shower on and stripped naked. Maybe the shower would help her in calming down. Help her understand why things had taken that direction. Why she wasn't the one who was pregnant. Instead, it was her ex husband lover who was.

Those were the answers she was seeking. The answers to why she couldn't never be happy with in her life. It's like the universe was against her happiness since the day she was born. Like she was never born to be happy but watch others get their happiness.

It hurt. It hurt that every single time that she got just a little bit of happiness something came her way. And how could it not hurt? She had a bother before who was her happiness but he walked away. He left her to pursue his dreams of becoming a soldier.

Then she met Chris. Her teenager crush who loved her for only few months. Maya had dreams and hopes. She had planned their future together. Their ups and downs and yet, her happiness was taken away from her by an innocent child. A child that knew no mistake of its parents. And who was she supposed to blame for her misfortune? Who?

She had no one. No one to blame but her bad lack. She was a bad omen as her father had grown calling her. She was even a murder as he used to call her. Wait, used to? He still called her that and now, if she used to wonder why, she had the answers now. She had them and it still hurt her. Wasn't she supposed to be happy to finally understand why her dad called her a murder? She was right?

But she was not. Instead it brought more sorrows to her than it did before. The cold water run down her body and the tears did. They still flowed despite the cold water that run down her. How could they stop if she still kept on thinking about her misfortune.

It wasn't fair that she had so many of them. But again the world itself isn't fair. Just as they say if you want fairness in these life, then you've to make it yourself. Like if you don't want to be poor, work hard for you not to be. That's how life is. You need to be a shark in the ocean and not a fish.

But how could she be shark when she was always the fish. The one that was eaten by the sharks. Kimberly was the shark. She had come back to survive and her survival was swallowing the fish which was her. Then how can a fish turn into being a shark? Her happy time was over and it was hard to believe it. Very hard.

Hard as it was with the night that everything changed. How do you accept that the man that you love was raped and he never told you that. Not even once did he see that you could handle such news.  He didn't believe in her. Chris didn't trust her that much as to tell her shit.

And could she blame him? Of course not. Maybe she hadn't given him the reason to. She had not given him a chance to prove that he could trust her and that's why he suffered in silence. He made love to her pretending it didn't bring bad memories to him.