Shouldn't Have Kissed You.

chapter 50

She was the last person he expected to see when he knocked on this door. But there she stood with her mouth open. She still looked beautiful like the last time when he had seen her. The last time. It was among his worst day in his live but who was to be blame for it being the worst. It was him and no one else. He saw the hurt in her eyes those years ago and the same hurt was evident to him at that moment.

It was his fault but right now he didn't needed to think about her. He had thought of her for too long than he cared to admit to himself. Of course he wanted to pull her into a hug at that moment but he restrained himself from doing that. He no longer had any right of her. Not any more. She sure must have moved on from the past. The past that he hadn't even taken a step from. In fact he had no idea of how to.

Phil looked away from the woman that he had no idea that he had been staring since she walked to them. It was such a shame that she would be the first person who saw her again. Just like when he left many years ago. She was the last person who also saw him. And those begging? It had broken him before he even got up and walked away. It still hurt and forever hurt. But he wasn't here to think of this. He was here to meet his baby sister. His reason for surviving in every battle that he went.

But he wasn't sure anymore. Sure if he deserved to be called big brother anymore. Sure if he was needed in her life anymore. She was already married without him being around. When he was growing up he thought that he would be the one handing her over to her husband. But things changed and it seemed that he was the reason why everything changed around him. It hurt so far and he didn't know how long it would take but one thing he was sure of begging for her forgiveness. 

Yes, he would crawl on his knees if that was needed. He would also kill just to have his little sister back. But he hadn't seen her come through that door. She was supposed to be curious as to why the two were taking so long to walk back in the house. But as far as he could remember his sister she never was the curious type. The only time that she ever got curious was when their father mistreated her. When he put those damn knives through her body.

She wanted to know why he hated her so much. Why her father showed love to him and not her. Why she got punished for things that kids can't be punished for. That's why she kept asking if she was an adopted kid. The first time she asked that she was only four years old. Yes, she was four and he was only ten years old. And to be honest it hurt him. Hurt him that his blood sister even knew the meaning of adopted and how some families treated adopted kids. And when he asked about how she knew that she said she had heard the word on television.

Of course, this technology is teaching kids things that parents are not teaching kids. That's why a three year old kid already knows how to swear. Not because he heard any of the parents do that but its because they heard it on television. And if parents don't limit their kids to internet and what to watch on it then we're raising a different generation here.

Maya was his reason for putting up with their father. She was the reason why he had hung around for so long. Why he had put up with his father for those years. She was why he even got the strength to one day get up and walk on his father and her. As much as it sounds messed up he knew it was for his own good and Maya's or so he thought. He was done with his work at that time. His promise to their mother as well and it was time he found something new for him to do. Wait, it wasn't something new, it was something that he always wanted to do. And that's why he left without saying goodbye to her. That's why he wrote that letter instead of facing her.

How do you face someone who thought that you'll forever be around them and tell them that you're leaving. He couldn't do it. He wasn't a man enough to see the hurt in his sisters face. He wasn't and that's why he snack in her room that night when she was asleep and said his good bye. That's why he never walked out of his room when he heard he walk by just like he did every morning. And that's why he left the letter on the night stand where she could notice it when she came back from school. That's why he left before she even came back.