Alpha (Jacob Seed X Deputy OC)

13 - Heart To Heart

Jacob cradled my naked body in his arms, normally pale cheeks a flush of pink.

'We can't keep doing this.'

'I know.' Jacob's fingers brushed lightly on the back of my shoulder, his words sarcastic.

'I'm serious.' I batted him on the chest.

'Never said you weren't.' He grunted. I gave him a stern look but he simply smirked and ruffled my messed up hair. The bedsheets tangled around our legs like vines, pinning us close to one another despite the heat beating in through the glass window. I gave a contented sigh and studied Jacob's mottled body. Burns and scars painted his torso, presumably from the war. 'Don't stare.' I moved my fixated look up to his face and saw that his lips had shifted into a thin line.

'Why? They're just scars.'

'They're fucking ugly.' He scratched his beard awkwardly.

'No, this is ugly.' I ran my finger under the scarified word Wrath on my chest. 'Surprised you don't have one. Envy would look perfect right about here.' My thumb grazed over his hip bone. 'Or pride down there.' I shifted my touch to the edge of his ribs. Jacob snorted, shaking his head.

'You think I'm stupid enough to let John get that close to me with his stupid tattoo gun?' After saying his baby brother's name, I saw Jacob's brow furrow and I clenched my tongue between my teeth.

'Do you miss him?' My question made Jacob squirm a little but for once he didn't brush me away.

'Sometimes.' He finally settled on the word. 'I was supposed to protect him, probably more-so than Joseph. I failed him.'

'I'm sorry that-'

'S'fine.' Jacob cut me off and I took it as a cue to stop talking about John. A pang of guilt hit my chest and I had to cough a little to clear it. 'The system failed him. It failed all of us.'

'What do you mean?' I knew I had to be careful. He hated too many questions in a row but right now he seemed relaxed enough to open up a bit.

'After I got sent away for burnin' down the farm, Joseph and John were split up. They both ended up in different foster families who couldn't give a shit about them. And me, well I got shipped off to Iraq and well-' Jacob's lip curled, infuriated that he was struggling to speak.

'It's okay, take your time.' I tried to reassure him.

'I know it's okay.' He snarled. Taking a long deep breath, he managed to continue. 'After Iraq I was sent to Afghanistan for a year but they diagnosed with PTSD. Said I was 'unfit for service' or some horseshit and sent me home. 'Cept I didn't have a fucking home. My two brothers were fuck knows where and I was alone. Ended up being homeless for a long time 'til Joseph shows up one day promising me that I could be his and John's protector again.' Retracting his hand from my shoulder, he dragged his palms over his face and let his fingers cling to the end of his hairy chin for a moment. 'I coulda stopped all of this before it got so bad. But I didn't. I burnt that farm and fucked everything up for everyone. And then I was gone, overseas for so long when John and Joe needed me most.'

'Jake that's ridiculous. You were a kid yourself, you aren't to blame for what happened.' My small fingers looped around one of his wrists and pulled his hand back around to rest on my shoulder blade. 'You could still change now, it's not too late.'

'Nice try pup.' He chuckled, fingers returning to their rhythmic gliding back and forth on my skin.

'You should've written me when you got back. I could've helped you.' I mused, fiddling with his chest hair.

'Didn't know where you lived. I assumed you weren't still with your parents and I couldn't exactly go ask 'em. They weren't my biggest fans.'

'Only because of that one time that you broke the porch door by throwing a brick at it.' I sniggered.

'I was trying to teach you important escape skills should you ever get trapped.' Jacob defended himself, a wry grin spreading across his face.

'And they've come in very useful.'

'I do seem to remember one of my convoy helicopters crashing because a brick flew through the windscreen and into the driver's face. You wouldn't happen to know anythin' about that would ya Deputy?' Jacob looked at me pointedly.

'Me? I would never!' I feigned shock at his accusation and he shook his head at me, pretending to be unenthused but I could tell he found it amusing. 'So what now?'

'Depends. D'ya wanna stay or go?'

'I get to choose? Wow are you feeling okay?' I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead, pretending to check for a temperature.

'Quit it.' He warned, patience wearing thin. 'You stayin' or goin'? Hurry up and pick.'

'I want to stay.' I replied almost too quickly. Jacob blinked a few times before looking rather pleased with my answer.

'Good, I wanna show you something.'

***

CLANK

Jacob padlocked the door to the cage and I grimaced from inside.

'Don't look at me like that.' He pocketed the key and crouched in front of me. 'You know I can't give you preferential treatment. People will start to think somethin' is up.'

'When I said I wanted to stay I meant with you.' I pined but he didn't bite, rubbing my white knuckles that gripped at the bars.

'I've got work to do. It'll only be a for a couple of days okay?' He spoke sweetly but once again I couldn't tell if he was being sincere or not.

'Jacob please don't leave me here.' I begged this time, breath catching in my throat. I knew what came every time I was locked up in this particular cell.

'Is that weakness I see?' Leaning close to my face, his gaze went from soft to threatening in mere seconds.

'No...' I mumbled, cowering away from him and letting go of the bars.

'Good. Now behave. I'll come see you soon pup.' And with that he left me alone, stranded beneath the hot Montana sun. I was a prisoner yet again but this time by my own hand.