Alpha (Jacob Seed X Deputy OC)

27 - Calm Before The Storm

Knees bunched to my chest, I stared into the burning fire that quietly crackled in the fireplace. My toes were warmed by the glow but the rest of me felt cold and out of place.

'Can't sleep?' Jacob came and stood beside me, placing a rough hand on my shoulder.

'Mm.' I replied, letting out a heavy sigh.

'Here.' He bent down and offered me a cup of coffee. I took it and pressed the warm mug against my hands. Jacob collapsed down beside me and crossed his legs, resting his cheek on his palm. He'd thrown his army jacket over his bare shoulders, clearly disturbed after I'd gotten out of bed a few minutes ago.

'Sorry for waking you.' I mumbled tiredly, pressing my chin against my knees.

'S'fine. I do it to you all the time.' He rubbed at his mottled face. 'Sleep used to evade me all the time on the front line, 'specially before a big battle.'

'How do you prepare yourself for the reality that in a few hours you might die?' I asked him and he replied with a snort.

'You live then you die. Everything that happens in-between doesn't matter.'

'None of it?' I caught his eye and he studied my face for a brief moment.

'Maybe some of it.' He finally said, gazing back into the flames. Inhaling deeply, I knew I was going to have to address our future but didn't know how Jacob would react. Mustering bravery, I straightened my back and addressed him.

'So what happens after all of this if I don't get killed tomorrow?'

'You'll go have a normal life, find yourself another Henry and settle down I imagine. I'll get sent to prison, probably be on death row.' Jacob shrugged, as though he'd already accepted his fate. 'It was always gonna end this way.' There was a strong intensity behind his eyes but also an air of sadness. Jacob was right, he'd definitely be arrested for all that had happened. Hell, I probably should be as well considering all the people I'd killed.  I hadn't considered the aftermath of all of this at all.

'What if I don't want another Henry?' I said quietly, biting down hard onto my lip.

'Don't be stupid pup. You need to be with someone who can give ya everything you deserve. That ain't me.' He rubbed at the back of his neck. Wrapping my arms around myself, I looked directly at him and swallowed thickly.

'When you were on the Bliss you told me something and I-' Faltering, I knew I had to ask or I'd never be certain. 'I need to know if you meant it.' There was another long pause and I could tell that he knew what was coming. 'You told me that you loved me.'

'The Bliss makes you do a lotta things.'

'Jacob.' My stern look made his mouth twitch and he dropped his eye-line.

'I've never loved anyone. Never had time for it, never known what it really felt like. The war pulled any ounce of compassion I had straight outta my fuckin' ass.' He swept his hand through his hair, pulling his drooping ginger locks away from his forehead. 'Then I saw you again. Took me a moment but I recognised your laugh. You used to walk past the homeless shelter everyday, on the way back from work I assume, and you'd always be chattin' on the phone. And you were just,' Jacob outstretched his arms and moved his hands in an arching motion. 'Picturesque. I'd sit on the table by the window just so I could get a good view of you for those four seconds every single afternoon. The soup they served was shit but I didn't care as long as it meant that I got a chance to see you again.'

'Why didn't you talk to me?' I was very surprised by his sudden emotional outburst. It was very un-Jacob of him.

'Because you were happy and I knew that it wasn't any of my business gettin' involved.'

'Then why did you take Henry away from me?' I shuffled closer to him and his brow furrowed, tongue flicking over his lips.

'He wasn't honest with ya pup.'

'What do you mean?'

'He was seeing someone else the same time as you. I saw 'em together in the park. Immediately recognised him from the few times he'd walked ya home. And then the next day I wanted to tell ya but I didn't know how and then ya ran away from me like I was some kind of monster.' The soldier gave a regretful sigh. 'So I used my connections to find out where he lived. Told him to stay the fuck away from you and snapped him like a twig.' My mouth was agape at his admission. This whole time he'd been trying to protect me where he could. 'So if you wanna call that love, then yeah, I meant what I said to ya pup.' Without hesitation, I pulled him to me and pressed my lips to his. But this wasn't a kiss laced with lust or inappropriate desire, it was one of passion and love. My fingers knotted into his hair as I refused to take my mouth away from his. Jacob's arms wrapped around my back tightly as he pushed me down onto the floor. His touch was so soft and tender which was completely foreign to me but I welcomed it. The corners of his jacket grazed against my bare stomach and smiled beneath his kisses. 'What?' He grunted, pulling away for a second to look down at me.

'I just love you.' I smirked, pulling his neck back down to close the gap between us again. I didn't want to think about Joseph or what was to come in the next few hours. I just wanted to be present in the moment with Jacob. This could be our last chance to be together in this weird, twisted world.