This is for Us

Of Course Time Moves Forward

Six times I cried
Five straight days of hiking
Four nights in freezing cold
Three cabins
Two weeks without technology
One thing I left behind.
Fear.
I will not fear those who don't believe in my pain.
I will not fear the idea that I will never see her again.
I will not fear returning to my demons.
I will not fear bulimia.
I am stronger, in His name.
I am remade, in His grace.
I am His son.
- ridgecrest

i am remade, made anew, made to remake
i returned to create a better world.
for pierce, one of the strongest men i know,
for griffin and davis, to continue being open and honest,
for james to continue being kind and selfless in your sickness,
for trey to find a place in his new faith,
for hunter to find a new identity in Him,
for caleb to try and become a new and better man,
for elliot, to be rid of his depression and to persue his freedom,
for tabb, a man who i aspire to be, in art and character.
to forest and luke, please never stop being leaders.
to lee, continue the souix fire, never look back.
to you twelve, who love me unconditionally.
thank you. i will continue to live for God
for you.
-nakota

technology is a foreign face to me.
her glowing screen, causing me to lose track of time.
the outdoors grow strangely dim in the light of my phone.
the memories fade in and out...
'i'm just catching up on the two weeks i missed'
i say, five hours into my internet binge for the seventh day in a row.
if you were here, i wouldn't have a reason to look at my phone.
if you were here, we could find bike trails and hiking routes,
we could trailblazer in the great outdoors.
we could disappear into the woods and fall in love every night
as the moon and stars come into view.
take all this blue light from me,
give her back to me.
how much longer do i have to wait?
i'll wait longer, but it doesn't make it any easier.
- the future is killing me

i will write poetry
for you
my lucky charm,
silver moon,
magic.