a dream never to happen
on january seventeenth, i had a dream-
no.
a nightmare.
the school day was over,
or maybe just really early
there wasn't a soul there.
i was walking past mr. zinc's room, about to go into
the middle school hallway
and i spun on my heels, for no reason
and there you were.
sitting on the bench from one of our last days
then i was sitting beside you.
you and i spoke for eternity of nothing
of everything. i couldn't hear a thing
but then people began appearing.
teachers who i trusted
teachers who i enjoyed
scowled at us
whispered near us
i was infuriated.
i stood for a moment to say something.
something to fight against
this atrocity
this inhumanity.
but then, as i rose.
i was alone again.
i was awake.
there was nothing.
i felt nothing.
as i thought about that dream or nightmare more and more,
it was astonishing to me how clearly i remembered every moment.
my brain took that memory that it made up
completely fictitious
and savored it, like it was gospel.
hearts and minds intertwined
and i remembered every moment.
that nightmare has yet to return to my dreams
that dream has yet to grace my mind as i sleep
but still, in vivid colors
i see it
as i read your stories.
read your poems.
read your heart.
am i selfish for wanting no one else but you and i in a room?
am i ignorant for asking why every second?
am i blind to not be able to see my faults which caused this chasm?
a relationship is built by two
so why can it only be torn apart by one?
there must be another reason.
but i rest my mind as i remember
psalm 34:18-19
1 corinthians 10:13
luke 22:42
and i breathe once more
"i am not broken.
i might feel lost.
but i will find myself.
i deserve to fill my body
with love.
i will heal."
repeat.
m. ivy
my tense body relaxes
and i do not understand why
but i know
"what will be, will be"
He put me in your life,
and yours in mine,
for a reason.
for a time.
you and i will find out why
not today
not tomorrow
perhaps not for a year or more
but we will know.
why am i like this? - orla gartland
YOU ARE READING
This is for Us
RomansaUs, Them, and Everyone else who needs us. Who needs me, and most importantly... Everyone who needs you.
