Her Heart's Whisper

CHAPTER 13

At first I thought that they were ready to decline my offer. Especially after the amount of time that we spent surrounded by an outstretched silence.

It wasn't easy to persuade them to allow me to help the pack that I now belong to. But with a newly acquired manipulative side, I managed to twist their almost untouchable arms. Together with the one thing that the females of this pack are more than familiar with; the oh so very popular puppy dog eyes.

When you have work to do, almost everything always seems way more interesting.

My mind roamed the room for the thirty-sixth time already. Alpha Seth and Kale had only been gone for around fifteen minutes. But it seemed like something close to FOREVER! Part of me feels that they just wanted to run away from all of the pack work that needs to be done.

Tons of paperwork. Tons of plans that needed to be be put into action.

So much for a practice run!

We've been at it for such a long time. I've grown bored of it. Perhaps now would be a good time for a run or at least a walk.

The study is huge. Four desks surrounded by a much larger table. Perhaps that was where the most important decisions are made. I peel away from the desk that will be mine shortly. It's beautiful.

This pack sure knows what they are doing. They have a record of who is in the pack and their position. Including information about their families. Organised much.

I can't seem to understand why Craig and Beth haven't adapted such a method. Maybe in that way I would have known something about my mother!

I need to go back to that pack. If only to punish the whore and to get my mother's belongings back. Does she even have anything of my mother's or was it all a huge lie?

I wonder whether that pack would even notice that I wasn't there anymore. But then again it's not as if anyone would miss me.

As if their Alpha would even notice? If anyone would have noticed, it's the twins. For they are all on their own now. Lucas wouldn't have noticed either.

Would I have wanted him to notice?

He has mates.

And if I had mine, I wouldn't want anyone to come between us. I would want to be the most important person in my mate's life. I would want to be bathed in his attention every moment of my life.

I shouldn't be crying. But I can't stop thinking. Thinking of all the things that I will say. All the things that I would do. All for my mate.

I swipe away at the tears. It's time for my life to get better now. It's the end of the most painful time of my life. I will fight for my future. I would not sit back and watch everything slide away from me.

It's good that Alpha Seth and Kale had left me alone. I got to confront myself. My feelings. My past and my present. All for a better future.

There are tons and tons of books here. The walls are covered with rows and rows of books. Long ladders in the middle of the bookshelves.

Well that would be needed. My wolf comments smugly.

It sure is the one room that I'd gladly be trapped within. Well maybe this is how I'll spend my time tonight.

Lucas' POV

Never had I expected to have two mates. I can never love them. I can never forget the feral way in which they killed my father when they took over. Used my name to hurt my mother.

Do it for your son. Eradicate the little problem that you have with things or we will eradicate your son. So now tell me, will you be the lady of pleasure for all and get the information that we need in order to progress or do we just kill little Lucas Junior right here.

I still remember the cold hand that he placed over my head, violently tugging me back and forth by my hair.

Nightmares upon nightmares.

Once again they traumatised me. Keep me awake at night.

Happiness always seems to elude me. I found her, but they found me. I got close to her but they were trying to get close to me. I started to grow attached to her but they had already grown attached to me.

She left and they vowed never to leave me.

I would have always treasured that vow had they been other people. Not them. Never had they tried to help Ciara. They always chose to make her life a living hell. Proving to me time and time again that the blood that runs through their veins belongs to them. The very same people who made my life a living hell. Ian's life a living hell. Everyone who belonged to Craig's pack. Everyone who refused to follow their leadership. Who refused to follow their sick ways.

The word that describes them has not yet been born. But for now fucking sick and psycho will have to suffice.

Never had Ciara ever told me about her life. But I could see her pain and heartache in her eyes. I could see it in the way that people always treated her. But more importantly, I can see how they treated her.

Now it's a different kind of nightmare that I can see and feel. Their wolves allow me to see and experience. A new nightmare that I've been watching ever since they sinked their teeth in me.

Something that pulled me closer to her and pushed me further away from them.

I am forced to feel all the emotions that they felt during that time. But I feel her emotions and feelings without any such compulsion or force. Without an incomplete bond hovering around, waiting for my part of it.

Now that she isn't here, I spend more time sitting alone in the kitchen surrounded by the little scent that is starting to drown out. Fading away. It brings me momentary comfort until we are faced with reality.

No one has heard from her. No one has heard of her either.

I am slightly hurt that she didn't even think it necessary to let me know that she wanted to leave. Was it even her decision to start of with?

For days I had retracted into my mind, letting my wolf take over. Hoping to sniff her out or at least find any clue that could lead me to her.

I still remember sinking into their memories, thoughts and feelings.

Alexia bloated with happiness. She always tried to compete with Ciara. When they got their wolves, jealousy spilled out of Alexia. Ciara's wolf was bigger than hers. Stronger than hers and faster than hers.

A childhood memory resurfaces.

The twins getting boxes and boxes of new toys. Every colour, every size. Their rooms no longer having much space for the old toys. The old ones ones reserved to one side, unused. Forgotten.

No one even looks at them anymore. Soon they are replaced completely. Even though they look as good as new and work just as good as the new ones.

Little Ciara's job was to take out the old toys and heap them up in the backyard. You can see the way she touches each of them, excitement gleaming out of her eyes. Her eyes getting  bigger and bigger with the beauty of them, staring in hope.

Hope that just maybe Alexia would allow her to take the small doll in the little white dress. Little Ciara hopes that just maybe she'd be able to hold this doll forever so Daisy would have a friend. A friend that she had already named. Lily she whispered.

Rage fills Alexia. How could she even hope to have her toys? Their toys. How dare she even name Mandy, Lily? Jealousy takes over her and she storms over to Ciara. Ripping the doll from her hands and breaking it's limbs of. Throwing it amongst the other toys.

Janet walks over to her daughters.

"Burn them with your little hands, you little shit. And don't you dare try to keep any one of them" she spits out.

HOW do I ever accept her as my mates? How do I ever accept them?