Her Heart's Whisper

CHAPTER 6

Days and days passed us by. My days here on this very ground is beginning to transform me. Each day possibly bringing me closer to my mate. The person whom I am to grow old with. The person who will own my heart. My soul.

Every moment I spend with Lucas is precious to me. He is the only one who cares for me. It's the little things. And I fear that it's the little things that I will fall for. The little things that will allow him a huge spot in my heart.

We spend time together. None of us saying a word yet he speaks to my soul. We sit here in silence yet we are surrounded by the words we never speak.

I know that we should not be spending this much of time together yet I am unable to back away.

He has become that one person who accepts me, who seems to understand me and always includes me. My friend. The most dearest person to me.

I need to distance myself from him. But how do I distance myself from these memories that we share? How do I retract myself from these memories? How do I get used to walking in the kitchen and not see him sitting in confusion with two sauces in front of him? How do I walk in there, only to cook all alone, without him?

He has mates. He needs to be with them. He needs to have pups. Build a family.

He needs to be the Beta that this pack needs, he can't be in here chopping onions with you, my wolf let's out irritatedly.

She's right. And I know it. I am just being some wolf who is too afraid to go on without a friend that I have grown so used to.

And maybe once again, I want what they have. A gentle, caring wolf to have and to hold. To love and to cherish. To be with till the end of eternity.

But maybe spending time with him is making me weak day by day. I am relying on someone whom I barely know. I'm falling prey to his sugar sweet words. They keep me coming back for more. But how do I not?

Today is the first day that he has not come into the kitchen.

My heart still waiting to get a lungful of his magnetic cologne and angelic eyes.

No, I scold. I can't betray the one person that I have been wishing for every day. Every night. Every moment.

Have I been betraying him all this time? Am I betraying him right now?

Yes. She snaps back angrily.

She's right. He's distancing me from my goals in life. My mother. My mate. No. I need what they have. What most people have. What I don't have. A loving mother. A loving mate. Lucas is not ours. He will never be ours. Our fated is ours. I need to distance myself. I need to be loved by ours. I need to love ours.

He makes me weak. Changes my goal. Makes me lose sight of every other thing. Except him. But he is not ours, I remind myself.

We will meet ours one day. His love will be like the sun, keeping me warm inside and out. His love will be like the darkness. Enclosing me in his love. Allowing me to steal the attention. He will light up my whole world and offer me the the darkness so that I can flourish like the stars.

The days seem to be passing by in slow motion without us spending time together. I begin to train much harder. Testing myself. Pushing myself to my limits. Destroying these limitations.

I disappear into the forests for hours. Spending more time watching my oppressors. If I'm going to get our revenge, it needs to leave an imprint. They need to remember my wolf. Remember her howls filled with anguish. Her cries of pain to our goddess.

They need to feel more than I did.

I can feel my wolf getting stronger and stronger each day. Once a week, she crunches down a huge, fat prey. Never sharing. Never leaving anything behind. Never did they. So why should I?

We have formed a routine. We clean up after the filthy pack and cook for the ungrateful bastards. Followed by stalking our enemies. Where they go, what they do, how they fight. Everything. Thereafter we train harder and harder. Learning their favourite moves. Analysing them.

It's getting harder and harder for my wolf to follow orders. She was not made to follow. She was made to lead.

The first in charge always testing me. Always insulting me. Poking fingers at my wolf. Rattling her cage. As if she's some sort of weak pup.

He may be their wolf but not mine. I address him as Alpha but he will never be accepted as my Alpha.

Tonight the wind feels different.

A little more soft. A little more graceful. A little more forgiving.

It sways my fur, makes it do a graceful little dance. I feel the energy of it surge through me.

The creatures of the night creating a peaceful harmony. And together we spend the dark hours.

The Moon shining down on us. Casting us in the spotlight.

This is the only time I can let my guard down a little. If only to appreciate this special thing we call night. To appreciate the beauty of it.

The time when we allow our true selves to display brightly in the darkness that we have become accustomed to. When we are truly alone without any shadows. Any disturbances. When we can be free, even if it's just for a moment. Any maybe. Just maybe that's why night was created.

A little ruffle of leaves, has my wolf perking up her ears. Raising her guard.

Ready to attack.

Listening intently.

Eyes scanning every corner of the forest. This side. Then that side. Then all around. Sniffing the air for a whiff of a scent.

Nothing.

Ears still perked. Listening intently.

Ruffle of leaves once again.

Her heavy paws sinking deeper and deeper into the moist ground. Anchoring herself. She's on the defensive now. Listening carefully.

Crickets and other insects buzzing in a carefree manner. Frogs croaking on the west, beside the river. Nothing else is heard. Ears still racing for the stars.

Then...

Heartbeat.

Faster and faster.

A slight sound from behind her has her whipping in that direction. More focused than ever.

"Hey beautiful", a chilling whisper reaching her ears from up above.