Her Heart's Whisper

CHAPTER 18

KEITH’S POV

Even in the state that I am currently battling; it is difficult not to notice the exquisite taste of the Blackwood’s pack. The deep, vibrant shades of grass that meets my eyes.

We are blessed with the darkness of the night but even that fails to remove the brightness of the grass. Even the lightly tinted glass fails to take that away. It’s lush, dark appearance makes the yellow-green colour of ours fall flat on it’s face. Something that seems to be so insignificant. Something that we feel goes unnoticed makes such a huge difference. Maybe I am just over exaggerating or maybe it’s just the little lights strategically placed in between.

Maybe she has lush green eyes like that. Eyes that encase you in nature. Eyes that remind you of growth every time you look into them. Eyes that remind you of the beautiful forests you surround yourself with. Eyes that remind you of the many beautiful living things that you trample with your huge paws! The growth that you crush with every pounce!

The anguish torments me to no end. I have never fought against my wolf before. For a moment, I could manage to keep my mind focused on something else. But the need keeps on growing and the pain continues gnawing at me. Can I really fight him? More importantly, can I really fight him and win?

The Blackwood’s pack’s flag flutters in the wind. Unlike other packs, they actually have a symbol to represent them, to resemble them. Something that reflects them. Is that the reason why I have you in me? So you can represent me? Resemble me? I reflect you and you reflect me…?

The absence of colour on it.

The perfect shade.

In order for all the other colours to have depth and variation, black is needed. It greedily absorbs all the colours of the colour spectrum and shows us none of their identities. Black. The soul stirring colour associated with everything that this pack is known to be associated with; power, mystery, strength, elegance, authority and sophistication. There are quite a few negative connotations too; like fear and pessimism but those are things that their oppositions tend to display. Black. Almost a perfectly balanced colour. Good and bad.

My heart agrees that there should be a balance within me too. I need to let him take over. If I have my reasons not to meet her then he has his reasons to meet her. He shouldn’t control me and I shouldn’t control him. But how do I trust that he will not mark her? How do I trust that he will not do anything stupid? How do I just hand him the power? How do I just leave all our power in his paws? My internal battle draws in all my strength. I am still attached to this warm seat, unable to pull away.

“Get out, Beta! We. Haven’t. Come. Here. To Sit. Coyly. In. The. Car!” he practically screams out to me through gritted teeth despite being so close. He makes it seem as if my position in the hierarchy makes no difference. As if it’s one without honour, without respect. Simply a curse. 

Every bit of me begs me not to follow this particular order but I do. As soon as I step out, her scent enriches my soul and I know that I will never be freed from that scent.

I need to walk to my Alpha. I need to greet the pack. We can’t afford to mess this up. I need to be in my senses but how do I do that when the control is in his paws. I began losing control the minute I got out of the car. And now my feet move on his accord.

Her scent gets stronger and stronger each second. It demands my attention through our spiritual bond. With each step it becomes more and more prominent to me. It orders me to give it my undivided attention.

And I am forced to do just that. Before I realiae it I am making my way through the foyer and past probably half a dozen rooms.

In this moment, I am practically unable to think and comprehend. The members of this pack stomp right after me, screaming stuff to me. Not taking my insult lightly. The bitter taste of anger makes it’s way to me. The hierarchy of the pack standing tall, just waiting for orders from their master to take me down.