11:30pm; October 4, 1984
Dear Ethan,
Another day has come,
But you haven't
The smile you would give me when you walked down the hallways of school a couple of months ago
God, it was everything to me
My heart would fall to the pit of my stomach and I wouldn't be able to catch my breath
The things you do to me.
A couple of days ago you were walking with another girl in your arms
You smiled heartily at something she had said
My mind filled with thoughts as I knew who it was you were caressing
Melanie.
She was the one both of us hated
Despised
She was cruel to me
How can you do this to me?
She bullied me throughout my life
Told me that I was worthless
That I had nothing to live for
And now you're with her?
What is it about her that you don't find in me?
Am I that ugly?
Am I that annoying?
Why do you hate me so much?
I hate myself for still loving you
I hate myself
I always have
But,
I love you
No matter what
Always and forever
~Audrey
