(Takano Masaume x Onodera Ritsu)Tell me you love me. Integral version

Chapter 11

Onodera p.o.v

It has been 6 weeks since I last saw Takano.

I know he's not coming back but yet a part of me still doesn't realise it.

It's like everything has been freezing from that moment and I actually don't know what I am waiting for.

I thought my heart wouldn't be broken again but I was wrong.

He did that twice.

But it doesn't matter anymore.

Lately en fact I agreed to get engaged with An - chan in the desperate try to forget about him and for the same reason I leaft the marukawa publishing and returned to work with my father's company.

I tried to reach him, at least to understand his behaviour but he had completely cut ties with all us.

He just disappeared without telling anyone where he'd go and changed his mobile phone.

So I had to give up on him.

Forever.

Again.

But the scariest thing is that I still love him, still miss him...

I always struggle with this felling but I never win.

It ' no use.

The only peaceful moments in these weeks were the ones I spent with An - chan. Beacause when I'm with her I kinda forget all of this and have a good time for a while.

And plus my parents finally seem relaxed and happy.

But they know nothing.

They know nothing about how I really feel.

I think the first weeks were the worse...

But then I realise I couldn't let him win. I had to be strong and go ahead with my life even though this probably can't be called life.

I swallowed my pain.

And eventually started all over again.

Ring ring ( mobile phone tone )

" Hello Ricchian! "

" An-chan!"

" Fine and you? "

" Well, kinda bored but apart from this I guess everything is alright "

I smile a little.

I love her .

I guess not in the way like a boyfriend should.

But still I do care about her.

She is like a sister and plus she'd never hurt me or betrayed me.

" But about cinema tonight? "

" I ' d like to but..."

" But you're too busy for the work. You don't realise you always use the same excuse, do you? At least try to be original sometimes! "

"No, I really have a lot of stuff to..."

" Blah blah blah! Okay see you at seven then. Goodbye "

"Goodbye"

Takano.

I 'm starting to forget about his face.

The details of his smile.

His eyebrows.

But I'm still trapped in his memory.

And I can't help it.

God! I can't help it.