Brooklyn Nine-Nine One Shots And Imagines

Jake Peralta- Home Invasion (a)

It normally took a while of tossing and turning on Jake's lumpy mattress before you could get to sleep, but you finally had. Of course you were in the middle of a wonderful dream when a crash and a bang from within your apartment send you hurtling into the land of the living. Footsteps and whispers could be heard from just beyond the bedroom door but Jake still lay sprawled over the sheets, deeply snoring.

You tried your best to wake him up, shaking him and whispering his name as you devolved into blind panic. A little slap to the cheek and he finally awoke, you covered his mouth with your hand as you knew he would have a go at you for waking him up and you pointed to the door, his eyes dropped to the shadows that moved underneath the door and his eyes widened in horror.

"What do we do?" He whispered as quietly as he could, looking around the room for anything that could be deemed useful.

"You're the cop! Don't you have your gun or something?" The mostly empty draw to his side meant that no, he in fact did not have his weapon.

"I left it in the fridge at work."

"Why the fuck was your gun in the fridge?" You asked, wondering how this man had made it past high school and wondering even harder how he had been given a gun in the first place.

"It was hot today..." Jake shrugged as if what he said instantly made sense.

"So?!"

"Well duh, the gun's metal so if I put it in the fridge I can use it as an ice pack." You thought that maybe you could argue and tell him just how stupid he could be, but instead you decided to focus on the more important matters at hand.

"So Mr. Detective how exactly do you think that we should handle this?"

"I think that you should go out there and see what's going on?"

"You want me... little helpless y/n to go out there with the burgulars and what? Offer them a sandwich? Maybe a midnight glass of milk."

"You can... you can go out there and distract them whilst I find like a baseball bat or something."

"Jake have we ever had a baseball bat in this apartment?"

"We are American. There has to be something we can use as a weapon somewhere."