more for us | grayson dolan (book two)

thirty four

My feet push their way through the Juilliard campus. I don't have class or rehearsal, I'm simply on my way to have a conversation with a friend. Carter texted me a few times begging to meet in the auditorium. He didn't want to run through the song, or talk about schoolwork. He wanted to give an explanation for what happened at the karaoke club.

Normally I wouldn't care to hear all about his private life story, but Carter has been kind of secretive. I just want to clear the air on everything going on between us.

When I walk through the doors of the large room, Carter is sitting in front of the piano. His hands are lightly hitting the keys in a delicate motion, playing the opening to the song Faithfully by Journey. I stand there for a moment, watching him play the notes. This kid is a ball of talent.

He mumbles some of the lyrics, but mostly focuses on playing the piano.

A small smile forms on my face as I begin to clap. He quickly pulls his hands away from the keys and turns around to look at me.

"You scared me." He places his hand over his chest.

"That was amazing, Carter." I say while smiling.

"I was just messing around." He nods while keeping his eyes on me.

I let out a sigh and walk up onto the stage. Standing in front of the piano, I lean across the front of it. He continues to stare at me while I gulp.

"So, you wanted to talk?" I raise an eyebrow.

"I feel like we need to." He nods his head.

"Yeah, we should probably correct any weirdness before the showcase." I agree.

"You're not only my partner, Stella. You're also my friend, and I want to be honest with you." His low voice captures my attention. My eyes stay glued to his as I take in his words.

"I couldn't agree more." The only way for there to be full closure is if I'm just as honest with Carter as he is with me.

"I'll start." He awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

"Yeah, that would be best." I lightly chuckle.

"Well, I guess I should start by telling you that I'm gay." He nervously gulps, almost like he hates saying the words.

"Why are you saying that like it's a bad thing?" I question.

"Nobody really knows. I kind of keep it under wraps." He shrugs while looking down.

"Did you come out?" I press my palms against the piano.

"Not really. My hometown was extremely religious and looked at being gay as a sin. It wasn't until I moved here for college that I fully discovered who I am."

"Does your mom know about it?"

"No." He shamefully shakes his head, almost like he feels guilty. "My mom and I are super close, but that is one conversation I could never start. I want to tell her in person, and I never get to see her. My dad would probably flip his shit. I'm not close with him and we don't get along, he thinks having a career in music is a waste of time."

"Well, I don't judge. With the life I live, I would be the biggest hypocrite to judge another person's life." I say while giving him a sympathetic smile. I want Carter to trust me, because it doesn't seem like he trusts many people.

"I don't really talk to people about my personal life. It's nobody's business, even though everybody wants to know. I get asked a million times if I have a girlfriend. It's frustrating." He lets out a sigh and runs his fingers through his curly dark hair.