Everything Will Be Alright ↠ Henjei [ COMPLETED ]

"Baby, Don't Cry" Pt. 19

    "What? What do you mean?"

    Henrik stared at me blankly and hesitated with every word he spoke. "I-I don't know how to say it. I feel like... I feel like such a bad boyfriend. I would be such a bad boyfriend if I said this."

    "Just say it..." I said meekly, softening my expression in a comforting manner.

    He paused and looked away for a second before nodding, "Alright."

    More silence. The quiet was killing me- there had been so much of it and i was losing my patience. I sat there trying not to show my eagerness to know his next words.

    "You see, the thing is- the thing is that, Tar, I've had feelings for you for awhile now. Like, before you even asked to catch up."

    The way he spoke was so slow, so intriguing and suspenseful. It only made me more anxious to know the rest and once he said the word 'feelings', my heart practically stopped. My mouth gaped and I stared at him in incredulity as I waited for him to continue.

    "Lea found out before you sent that text that I liked you and-... that's why she was so upset about us being in contact again." He gulped and I could tell he was nervous. "It stirred up some... issues that not only affected our relationship, but our family life as well and that was not good."

    I nodded in understanding as a signal for him to go on. I was trying my best to give him my full attention but my mind was still stuck on the word 'feelings'.

    "I don't regret kissing you at the bar... and the only reason I left you was because I remembered what happened when she found out about my feelings for you. I guess I got scared that something like that would happen again, but I'm a huge idiot because...- well, I should've never left you there alone because I knew you drank a lot that night. I'm sorry. If I could go back and change it, I would." He met my eyes and sighed, "If only we could be together."

    "Why can't we?" I questioned, disappointment clear in my tone.

    "Because, there's so much you don't know at stake. I would tell you everything if I could, but I-... I can't."

    I looked down at my hands and began fidgeting with them. I didn't want him to see the tears brimming my eyes, I didn't want him to know how sensitive i was when it came to conversations like these.

    I felt his fingers run through my hair and down to my neck where he rested his hand, causing me to only feel worse. "What you've gotta understand, Tar, is that people like us- we don't get happy endings. As stupid as it sounds, it's true. Some choices are already made for us, and we are forced to live with that."

    "We make our own choices." I whispered, still looking down and sniffled a bit, "We just believe we can't so that we don't have to deal with the consequences."

    I felt his hand gently grab my chin, lifting it up so he could look me at me. "Baby, don't cry."

    I couldn't help but let out a light chuckle. I pushed his hand away and rubbed my glossy eyes. "Shut up, I'm not crying."

    As I wiped my eyes and let out a couple soft sighs, I knew he was waiting for me to speak up again just by the fact that he was oddly quiet. He was only like that if he wanted you to say something, that's something I've learned about him over these past couple months.

    "So... do you love Lea?" I asked, hesitation clear in my voice- and tensed when using the two words love and Lea in the same sentence.

    "Of course I love her, I'm just not in love with her." Henrik stated, like it was no big deal.

    "Then why are you with her?"

    "I told you, some choices are already made for us and we have to live with that."

    "That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard." I mumbled and looked at him. "So you're saying that you're just gonna live the rest of your life with someone you're not even fond of, just because people expect you two to be? That's ridiculous- you're the last person I'd expect to say something like that."

We locked eyes and right when he opened his mouth to speak, a loud knock on the door startled us, causing both of us to jump.

"Hey, Henrik- are you in there?"

It was Lea's voice from behind the door. I glanced at him and gave him a look.

He mouthed 'I'm sorry' and stood up, "Yeah, I'm in here." He walked towards the door and looked back at me one more time before opening the door.

"I've been looking all over for you." I heard Lea say before he headed out and shut the door. The rest of that conversation was muffled, and I sat there silently, maybe even hopeful that he'd come back.

But he didn't.

Me being the emotional wreck I am, I started to cry again and I hated myself for it. I shouldn't have let him have so much power over me, but I liked him so much.

Everything he said was complete nonsense and I had such a hard time believing that he truly meant that.

Oh well, it was over now.

Quiet sobs escaped my mouth and I was just glad they were drowned out by the loud music. I felt so stupid for crying over this boy again, this would be the last time.

I stood up and wiped my tears again, deciding that I wasn't going to spend the rest of the night having a pity party when there were plenty of cool people outside this room that I could be with and enjoying myself- especially considering I probably wouldn't see them again for awhile, if not ever.

On that thought, I left the room and decided to make the most out of the rest of this night.