I really don't know what's so wrong lately..I mean I feel like I really shouldn't be here..everything keeps falling apart..I don't wanna hurt myself again..I don't wanna be how I used to be..but what if all this was just my illusion ? What if I thought sth was getting better when it really wasn't..Idk..I fucking hate the fact that now...now that all this shit is almost over..now it's the time I feel more like giving up..it's just the demons..those bad bitches running around my mind all the time..I am losing sleep and every day I just feel more and more exhausted..pls don't be just one more dude who says "Girl..you're too young..life is all in front of you"..nuhh..bullshit..I might be young..things might have a space for an improvement..but I can't..I fucking can't do this..it's above my powers..I've been trying and trying and trying again..but that's not a life..everyone is like "oh dude..just keep surviving everyone does..you're not the only one suffering" and yeah I know that but I don't think that way..why should I survive ? Give me a fucking reason..why ?? Cause imma be a goddamn wife for someone and got little devils so I have complete my mission in this world as a woman ? Or cause life owes me and imma be happy all of a sudden..? Well I don't believe this shit..actually I do believe people one day people get what they deserve but I keep getting broken trust and broken heart..I have fucking dreams..ya boy..I do..like every human in this world..and I don't wanna miss them..I wanna love and be loved..but I trust noone anymore..and mostly life..she is a fucking bitch..and it's not a giving up thing..I am not here to cry on you shoulder and ask for someone or sth to save me..I have learnt the hard way to be alone..to live alone..I am not writting paragraphs anymore for anyone..I am not asking for forgiveness or try to keep dudes in my life..I am just done with people..there is no sorrow anymore..just a stone..a fucking stone in the shape of my heart..sorry if I can't be what u want..that's me..love me or leave me..it's too much for me to fight for sth that I don't know its end..so just a small piece of advice bro..if u feel like telling sth to someone just go ahead..even if u regret it..I have lost so many things cause of that damn fear..u live once so do it..risk it..I might won't complete what I came to do here but u can..just don't blame people who give up..it's a tough decision for someone to make..but so does the living thing..
Thanks for reading this if u did..Just remember I love you..bye❤❤
