Deleted Emotions 1

Fall to pieces

Soundtrack : Avril Lavigne -Fall to pieces

This song motivated me to write this chapter...
Another emotional rollercoaster update
"Deleted emotions" ......continues

Mimi's POV

It has been one week and 11am in the morning... One week of avoiding Justin and whatever drama he brings.. Staying away from him will do me a lot of good because he has been nothing but a bad news... A plague I completely want to get rid of..

I feel Justin is holding his other side of the bargain by avoiding me too... Which is so unlike him coz, avoiding me by not visiting Suz, will hurt her..

I completely shut myself off from the world and lied to my sister that I wasn't feeling too well..

Yes.. I feel mentally drained and emotionally unstable... That is my sickness..
I haven't been to class or the club..

I'm in my second year and Suz, Justin and Lexis are all in their final year in College... So I feel I have more time to catch up..

Suz has been very caring and does whatever a big sister ought to do to make me feel OK but it makes me feel more guilty.. I don't deserve her worry, she doesn't really know what is wrong with me

She's always coming around to check up on me whiles I fake sleep,  she prepares aspirin down for me and some medicine for my " feigned headache and fever ", cooks soup for me and treat me like a mother would...tucking on the blankets, cleaning my room, giving me a peck and telling me.. "I love you sis get well  soon"

I only managed to grumble.. "OK, thanks sis"  and I feel so bad afterwards..

The reason "Justin"

I can't tell how messed up my feelings are towards him and how messed up he is.. It's a fucked up situation and the victims here are my sister and Lexis..

Thinking of Lexis, it is strange I haven't heard from him also for a week now... And I haven't bothered to call or check up on him either, considering the fact that we have agreed to be friends.. Which I know it's not going down well with him..

I guess it's better this way, we all stay out of each other's business to avoid a more collateral damage and drama.

After my sour date with Jay, I decided to avoid him too not that i was expecting him to contact me or something... I know he has got his mind made up already about me ... He humiliated me coz he thought the worst of me..

Nobody understands me..

Nobody knows how my life was messed up when my stepfather came into our lives... I sobbed and wiped the tears away holding unto flufboo my teddy bear.

So all I do is pretty simple, avoiding my sister's presence whenever she is around and hanging around the room whenever she is not around..

Walking to the kitchen to make myself some Mac n cheese, I was so hungry... Coz I'm sure Suz is already in school...judging by silence in the house.

"Suz! " catching me by surprise

"Mimi" we mention our names in unison..

I wasn't expecting her to be around..

"I.. I thought you've already left for school? " I said not hiding my shock.. 

Studying her face she wasn't looking happy... Something might have happened to her because Suz never misses her class especially when she knows Justin is around..

She sniffs... With her head down, cutting some veggies.. She was making for a hamburger.

She gave me a quick glance and a sharp smile that didn't reach her eyes and resume cutting..