Crazy about her (Marcel fanfiction)

chapter 11: trying to stop

Ava's pov

"daddy,  when do you have to leave again?" I was praying to hear that he didn't have to. But, I knew that was unlikely.

"Not for a while.  And that whole 'while' I am going to make it the best time of our lives!" he promised.

"Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!  Look what I made!" My five year old sister waved a poorly drawn picture of him in green camoflauge clothing, picking flowers.

"Oh my, sweetheart. You have done an amazing job!!! Can I take this with me?" he held the picture in his hand, smiling very widely.  His eyes smiled just as much as his mouth did.

I couldn't quit worrying about when he would leave again. We all missed him very much when he was gone. Mommy is always crying, and it hurts a lot when people ask where are dad is.  They are impressed that he is in the army. But it's not the best thing in the world for you to always worry about when or if he would come home. 

"Come on, it's time for bed. I will tuck both of you in. And," he picked up Katie, "I will make sure to check for boogie men, so we don't have nightmares!" he tickled her.

Her giggles were very contagious, in just a few moments she had all three of us laughing.

"daddy!  Stopppp!" her giggles increased until finally he placed her on her bed and tucked her in, kissed her goodnight, looked for boogie men, and made his way to me.

"When will you not have to leave again?  When will you be able to stay for good? It's not fair.." I pouted.

"Soon." that was always his answer. I just figured that was his way of saying I don't know,  but hoping it was soon.

Then he covered me, kisses me goodnight,  and made his way out of our bedroom.

"I love you both,  please remember that my sweethearts." and he closed the door.

I drifted off to sleep. And a new memory came to place.

.....................

It was 4 years later.

Dad had left almost a whole month ago. We don't hear from him very often. Sometimes we get letters from him, and maybe every great great once in a while we will get a video call from him. But the letters are maybe once a month, and the video calls are every few months. If that.

It had been almost a month and 1 week since we seen him, and we hadn't gotten any letters, until today!

"Ava, Katie, dad sent you guys letters!  Guys come on!  We have to read them together! " she was happy. Of course she was. We all practically lived to hear from dad. And every letter was our way of knowing that he was still alive.

We stomped our way down the stairs, the two of us trampeding to our mother. 

"Mommy!  Read mine first!" Katie pleaded, she was so full of delight.

Mom had made her way through all three of the letters. And disappointment filled all of us. Knowing that it would be another month until we heard from him.

...................

Two months passed and there was nothing. No letters, no video calls.  Nothing.

We waited and waited and waited. Mom would check the mail every day. Most days she had a fit when there was nothing and then made her way down to the post office to make sure there was no missed mail of ours there.

That had gone on for another two months.

It had become agonizing by that point.  Katie wasn't having as hard of a time, she figured that daddy had no paper or maybe no pencils. But mom and I knew the truth. We were praying to god that the truth wasn't what had happened.

We have never gone this long with out hearing from him.  Four long, painful months have gone by with out a word from dad.

Mom was laying down on the couch in the living room, trying to sleep of a headache. When a big man in a very nice blue and gold and black suit with lots of pins came to our door holding an envelope, and rang the door bell.

I answered, and he asked for my mom.  So I quickly ran and got her.

She got up,  and made her way to the door.

The first thing I heard said was,  "I am very sorry for your family's loss." and I lost it.

How could this happen!  He promised he would come home!  He told me that it would all be over soon!  That he would be home for good, and we wouldn't have to worry anymore!

I bolted out the back door and ran. My eyes were too blurry to see where I was going.  And I didn't care. I didn't want to see the stupid man who says my father's dead. I didn't want to see my mom cry anymore. I didn't want to go back and pretend like I was okay.

At that moment I hoped I died too. I had lived most of my life with out my father, I didn't want to live any longer with out him.

I made my way to the park,  which was empty. Normal considering it was fall and it was freezing out. I sat under a slide, and cried until I couldn't cry anymore.

All of a sudden I heard someone calling my name, "Ava!  Hey,  what's wrong? Hey, don't cry." it was a male voice, very soothing. It was familiar.

I felt my body being lightly shook, and I woke. I had been crying, my face was covered in wet tears. My knuckles hurt from clenching the blankets.

I opened my eyes to realize that I was in Marcel's arms. I turned to look at him, and moves a little away to see him better. By that point that I had stopped crying. 

"You were having a nightmare?" He asked?

I wondered why he was down stairs, how did he know I was down here having a nightmare. Had I screamed? I doubt it.

I nodded, " I was down here getting a drink and I realized you were making noises. I couldn't figure out what was going on until you started crying and well,  frankly freaking out." He looked down at the couch. He was ashamed to have been listening to my sleep noises.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

It had been almost a whole year since I had a dream about my dad. Why now?

I was glad that Marcel had been downstairs to wake me,  it would have only gotten worse.

I don't usually talk about my dreams, but I felt like I needed to tell him. I knew that if anyone would want to hear about it,  it would be him. I felt comfortable enough to tell him.

He watched me tell him every little detail, all the way to the end of the dream. I guess I never considered them nightmares because how could they be if that was the only way I could see my dad anymore. It was the only way I heard his voice.

Marcel never once looked away, or interrupted. He only held me when I cried as I got the the part where he died.

His arms around me were like home. It was like a fluffy bed, with a blanket you had just taken out of the dryer. He was so comforting, I never wanted to leave his arms. I eventually fell asleep on his chest. He was still awake when I dozed. I remembered his sleepy eyes looking down on me, and his cheek resting on the top of my head. 

He never moved. When I woke up the next morning, he was still there.  Arms around me, head resting on mine.. And still as comfortable as ever. 

As I woke up completely, I had a slow realizaition that I had no toothbrush. And I was wayyyy to close, and I did NOT want him smelling my morning breath!

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How's this chapter?.... I cried a little. Cuz I am a sissy baby.

Let me know if you guys liked it! Vote, comment and tell me what you think! 

Also,  idk how popular the picture in the beginning is,  but I found it.  And fell in love.

-A.B♥