Crazy about her (Marcel fanfiction)

chapter 14: what now...

A big thanks to Alltimemashtxn for the new covers!!!  I love them!!

AVA LEE POV

I couldn't say anything to him. What was there to say? He was hurt. I had hurt him, and I didn't even know it. Was it obvious that he had feelings for me, and I was just to busy trying to contain my own feelings, that I was blind to his? He never told me anything, he only acted like a really good friend. He was always there for me when I needed him. He was a great person. I didn't think I could even tell him how I felt.

It would make him even more upset that I hadn't ever told him. I would only end up hurting him.

I knew I had feelings for him. I just couldn't tell him. I wanted to, but I couldn't even bring myself till open my mouth. All I could do was watch him. He only looked at me a few times,  but mostly kept his eyes on the road.

We were pulling into my driveway, and he looked at me. He had tears running down his face. How hadn't I seen them?  They were kind of hidden in the dark I guess....

"I am sorry I have put you in this situation. I never meant for this. I know you only want to be friends. I had no right to hit him, I just couldn't stop myself. And I know that's no excuse, but it's all I have. I don't want to lose you as a friend, but I know that you don't want to be my friend anymore. I understand. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I wouldn't change it for the world." He was distraught. We both were. Why would he think that I wouldn't want to be his friend. I promised him that I wouldn't ever leave.

He reached to open his door, but I grabbed his other hand, and he turned towards me.

"Marc, I have promised you from day one that I would always be your friend. This doesn't change a thing." I let out a deep sigh, and thought for a moment. I wanted to tell him so badly. I had been falling for him more and more each and everyday. I don't know what to do. "Marcel I can't go home tonight. I have been drinking, and I really don't want to go home for my mom to find out. That's the last thing she needs, and plus, this was a one time thing. Would you mind if I stayed one more night?"

He only looked at me,  his eyes kind of smiled, but his mouth only frowned. He clearly regretted telling me. I wish he would have told me sooner. Him and I have been friends for months now. I had been whining to myself all day everyday that we were just friends. And now I couldn't even bring myself to tell him how I really felt.

I wondered if it was the alcohol making the decisions for me.  I decided that a good nights rest, and water.. Lots of water, would help. 

He never answered, only put his car in reverse, backed out, and made his way to his house. We silently went inside and I once again went and got clothes to sleep in, he didn't seem to mind. I quickly brushed my teeth and went to lay on the couch after grabbing a bottle of water.

Marcel said goodnight, very sad and slowlike. I heard his foot steps go up the stairs, and then his door shut. I felt terrible. I knew that not saying anything about everything was only hurting him worse. But I had to figure my stuff out. Why was I hesitating so much to tell him? Was I hurting him more, not telling him?  Or would I end up hurting him if I told him, and we dated? I never wanted to lose our friendship. It was truly one of the most important things to me.

He was honestly one of the most amazing people I have ever known, aside from my father. He made me smile all of the time,  I mean even sitting here right now, I am so confused, and I am still grinning at the thought of his dimples, and the smile that lights up my world. His green eyes,  astounded me every time he looked me in the eyes. The way he held me last night. He knew he didnt have to, but he did. He never left, he stayed even after he knew just was fine. He trusted me, when everyone else gave him reason to never trust anyone. He has made my life so much better since I met him. These past months have been the time of my life, but for some unfathomable reason I couldn't tell him.

I could feel my eyes getting heavy,  and I grew angry with myself. I haven't made a decision yet.  I need more time. And before I could think anything else, I was asleep. My head and eyes heavy from the drinking and the stupid party.

I woke up panting. I glanced at my phone screen, 2:30 am. I hope this doesn't become a ritual. I love sleep too much. I didn't remember what I had dreamt about, but it was clearly enough to wake me.

I took a big drink from my bottle of water, and stood to walk to Marcel's bathroom. I quickly finished in there, and made my way to Marcel's door. 

Hoping he was awake, as I was, I found myself relieved. He was awake. But bot very talkative. Understandable, I supposed.

I sat on his floor, and decided to just talk to him. He wouldn't respond, so it made things a little easier.

"Marcel.  Everyday with you is like my own personal heaven.  I have been forcing myself to not have feelings for you, because I figured that you wouldn't have feelings back. Because I knew that you had enough to deal with. I didn't want to make it worse." he only sniffled in reply. Already he was listening.

I waited for a few moments, "You were extremely attractive this morning. I didn't want to tell you, because I try to avoid it. I always tell myself that we are just friends, because it keeps the thoughts away. Please say something.. " I looked him in his eyes. I could barely see, due to his light being off. But I seen them enough for him to see mine.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what to say.." was all he managed.

"What's in the box with the big 'A' on it? " Boy, did that get his attention!  His head shot straight up, he was more alert than he had been all evening.

"You found that?" He blankly looked at me.

"You weren't supposed to read them, though I suppose it doesn't matter now."

"No, I never read them.  It wasn't mine to read. But I know that they were labeled my name. I never asked to read them, I didn't want to upset you. You had left the box out last night by your bed. I only tucked it underneath your bed, so you wouldn't worry." my voice trailed off.

We sat silently for a long while. Him on his bed,  me on his bedroom floor. Neither of us looked at each other, only the ground. Both deep in thought, until finally..

"How long have you liked me?" he was hesitant to ask,  but then it just came out.

"Since I first saw you. You were intriguing to me. There is no one like you. And the more you didn't want to be friends,  the more I wanted to.  I started to really have feelings for you when you showed me your studio, and I somehow managed to open up about my father. It had been 3 Years since I had been able to talk about him, until I found you." I sighed, it was a relief to get it all out finally. "When did you?"

"I don't know. It just all of a sudden got out of hand for me. Then I couldn't stop myself from falling. It got bad when you had shown up in that dress. I am sorry. I shouldn't have ever..." he stopped mid-sentance, ashamed.

I didn't know what to do or say at this point. I couldn't make him feel better,  because in his eyes, he felt he was wrong for having feelings.

I just did the first thing to come to mind. I decided to do what he had done to me. I slowly stood, and walked over to his bed. He was shocked, it almost made me Histarically laugh at the face he made, but I managed. I lifted his covers and settled in next to him.  The bed was über warm.

I turned on my side, facing towards him and cuddled into his arm. He didn't push me away, so clearly my decision wasn't so bad. After he got over the shock, he awkwardly wrapped one arm around my back, and pulled himself closer. He was so warm, and he wasn't wearing a shirt, so I finally got my chance to feel his muscles!  I felt giddy about that.  But then,  who wouldn't? 

"I don't want to hurt you," was the last thing I could manage before I dazed back to sleep in his arms.  Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

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I decided I will stay up extra late and get in another chapter just for you guys! Hope you enjoy.

Vote and comment to let me know what you guys think!

-A.B♥