Her House, My Rules

Chapter 52

Hours were like drops of Jupiter on a heavy clock. Jack's words were tormenting my mind with confusions. We spent the entire day talking about the unknown letter, left by our grandmother, Ana Hudson. Which was also our mother's name. Her absence was invisible in my mind, her empty love blinded me with darkness. She was my mother, after all, I didn't hate her but my heart required her presence for a very long time. To the point that I got used to everything. Her love was no longer needed in my life.

The past destroyed me completely. Jack and my father were the only good people from my previous immature life. After my dear father's death, I didn't want to lose Jack, too. He was the only person that understood me and loved me when I hated myself back then. He used to tell me that mother cherished me from Heaven but deep down, he was just trying to show me that she thought of me every second of every day. Her love was real but injured.

At least, that was just a selfish lie that I used to tell myself to be powerful and useful. 

Jack Walter, if you die today, I'll make sure your ashes don't perish under the enemy's ground. Your body will glorify the stars in Heaven and Angels of Paradise. Your soul will rest in peace under God's command. Your pure heart will magnify the existence of a real Legend.

Until then, I'll love you forever and I'll protect you even if I have to lose myself all over again.

Brother, we'll find the last page of the letter and we'll fight for dear life.

"Babe?" Hazel chased my thoughts away. "Did you try to fix the situation with Jack?" Her words captured my heart with a sensibility of affection. Hazel had a positive effect on me. "Where's Jack? He left?" Her tone revealed how worried she was about his future.

Hazel didn't want him to die.

Me neither.

"Yes, he did." I refused to make eye contact. My eyes melted by the movement of the letter between my cold fingers. "He left an hour ago..." I broke down my words as I tried to ignore her presence from a distance in my mind.

"Hawk?" Hazel caressed my shoulders from behind. "Are you okay?" Her gentle touch got the best of me.

No, baby. I'm not.

"I'm okay, Love." I forced a smile. "Did you eat? Do you want me to make you something?" Her reaction confused my inner self. She knew that I wasn't fine. "Stop looking at me like that babe, I told you I'm fine."My lie was too weak to cover my pain from the inside.

"You're not." She proved a good point. "Talk to me, Hawk. What's wrong?" She crawled. "I'm worried about you. Please, I want to know what's going on inside your head." Her lips immediately pressed against mine.

A pop kiss translated her love towards me.

"I just need some time, I'm trying to think straight." I rejected her presence. "Can I be alone?" My words were sharp and unprepared. "I don't feel like sharing my emotions right now."

"I understand that you're hurt right now but I don't want to leave you in this bad condition." She refused to grant my request. "I'm your girl and I hate when you're sad." She tried to change my mind. "Come on, babe. Talk to me." She pulled a chair from the table and placed it right in front of me. When I finally made eye contact with her, I gave in. I couldn't hold it anymore.

"Can you hold me?" My broken voice melted with pain. "I'm fractured."

Welcome to the bottom of Hell, where pain can kill your soul in a flash of flames. Where sadness gets the best of you and angels of death are in charge to elevate the darkness within you. Where happiness is forbidden and your eyes are begging for a little bit of light from Holy Heaven.