So after 13 was injured at the USJ, I figured their quirk made their true form a bit like Kurogiri. But 13 can make thier form in anyway they wanted, hence the gender mystery. So I'll say Gem can be any gender she wants at a given time and can choose how she looks. That's why she won't let Deku in, because she hasn't chosen a form and is just a space mist
:3 here's the form THEY will take, as I'm changing her to Gender-neutral