naomi's pov
***
"i swear to jesus christ himself that if i ever have to kick a soccer ball again in my life i will kill myself no hesitation."
"naomi shut up you're just weak"
"mila, fight me."
"when and where?"
in gym, we get to volunteer to play whatever it is we're playing that day. the teacher doesn't give a fuck what we do ever, mila dragged me on the field and all our other friends besides heaven and billie, who were on the bleachers.
"naomi! your shot!"
"what the fuck?" i turned around to see billie running towards me with the ball, i was the closest to the opposite teams goal so i guess she thought this would be a good idea.
she kicked it, fuck me.
i freaked out and kicked it right at the girl playing goalie for the other team, the ball hit the girl in the face, knocking her down, but still ending up in the goal.
my ears were crowded with "ooooouuuuhhhh" as she sat up with a bloody nose. i scrunched my face up since i felt pretty bad.
"come on tiger, maybe you should be benched for the rest of the game." i turned around and billie was there with her hand on my shoulder.
"are you afraid of my skills?" i smirked.
"um, i'm afraid of what your those so called skills could do to someone."
i awkwardly smiled as my cheeks burned with embarrassment. i felt pretty bad for the girl. and even worse that billie had to see that.
**
"naomi! did you see me score like five times?! and you guys say i'm just a lump of skin and bones."
the game had obviously finished and heaven woke me up from my nap on the bleachers with his cockiness.
"heaven, i want to kick a soccer ball at your face. shut the fuck up." mila seemed really annoyed.
"bitch- i don't know what crawled up your ass and died but you have no right to speak to me that way."
i of course was caught in the middle of another one of their stupid ass petty fights.
"hey, kids, break it up." billie came up the bleachers and saw them bickering.
i laughed as she pretended she was a mom and "broke" the "fight" up.
"something funny?" she stared at me.
"you." i smiled.
"yo, mila go get a soccer ball for me."
"billie if you think you're going to hit my bestfriend in the face with the soccer ball..i would be glad to assist you."
i looked at mila with a bitch face. she must be pissed, for who knows what reason at all honestly.
when we were walking to lunch i made billie walk with heaven so i could talk with mila.
"what's wrong m?"
"do you genuinely like billie naomi..?"
i was very confused on why she was asking this.
"yes..no..maybe? i don't know. i'm still not over heidi but in all honestly i think billie could get me over her."
"don't use her to get over heidi! that's pathetic, and a hoe move!"
"i wouldn't be using her at all, if i was in a relationship with her i would give her everything in me, and she's nothing like heidi at all. i'd forget about heidi if anything."
it was silent for a moment before mila continued.
"i want you happy, but..i talked to billie today."
i gulped.
"what do you mean?"
"she's straight naomi. striaght, striaght, striaght."
my heart fell to my stomach.
"okay."
well, this just got depressing.
"wait, mila! did you tell her i liked her!?"
"n-no. maybe? no.."
i stopped in my tracks and so did she, billie and heaven turned around to look at us.
"fuck you mila. what if i wanted to be friends with her?! you ruin everything! just like you used to ruin shit with heidi too!"
"seriously? we're going to sit here and bring up the past, especially heidi?! you're pathetic naomi!"
billie and heaven started to walk towards us.
"mila. i'm trying to get over her! you know that. you can't fall out of love with somebody just with the snap of your fingers! i wish it was that easy, but it isn't!"
"yeah well you think billie was going to get you over her?!"
"whoa..guys..what about me?" billie was standing there now, staring.
i looked at billie. "nothing about you, nothing!"
"look naomi i know you like me, but there's no reason to get in an argument with your bestfriend over me..you don't even know me."
damn, that hurt.
"i don't like you!"
i lied.
"you are the biggest fucking liar. you need to start telling the truth! or else you're going to be like the boy who cried wolf, when something that's actually serious happens, no one will be with you! you'll be alone naomi, ALONE."
"did you just call me a liar mila?"
"yes. i did."
i punched mila, leaving her with a bloody lip, then i ran.
i ran, and ran. all the way back to my dorm.
i dropped down next to my bed and started sobbing, my tears were streams that just reminded me of my stupidity.
i pulled out a box from under my bed and opened it, revealing pictures of me and heidi. i stared at them for a while, a long while. before i threw the pictures back in the box and carried it out of my dorm room and up the stairs with me to the roof.
i lit the box on fire with the lighter i still had from when i smoked.
"fuck you heidi, you costed me everything."
tears ran down my cheeks. i looked over the edge of the roof to see mila crying in the middle of the field and heaven, along with billie were consoling her.
fuck. i felt terrible. i did this all for what..a girl? a girl. a fucking girl. wow.
"billie eilish, lets see where this goes." i said to myself.
