✔️STRONG [L.S]

[23]

{HARRY'S POV}

   *December 1st 2014*

   I pulled my knee's tight to my chest as I sat on the brown, leather couch. Nicole was sitting beside me, hand running up my back soothingly as tear's ran down my face.

   "Hello Harry." Dr. William said, smiling as he sat down across from us. Dr. William was one of the therapists who worked here. He nodded at Nicole, giving her the signal to leave the room. She brushed back my curl's once more before she got up and left. He watched my shaking form for a moment, sadness filling his eye's.

   "So how're ya feelin' today H?" He asked. I smiled a bit at the nickname he always called me. But I frowned a moment later, remembering the question.

   "I heard him again....." I whispered, staring at my white-socked feet. He sighed.

   "It's best we get started then...So can you tell me what you heard?"

***

   {LOUIS' POV}

   *December 1st 2014*

   I shifted uncomfortably in the plastic chair, my eye's flickering around to the different face's in the room. There was about 15 of us, seated in a small circle. The therapist (Dr. Clifford) sat between two patient's, watching us with a small smile. This was a group therapy session that I went to every other day.

"To start off, we have a new friend with us today." Dr. Clifford began, gesturing to the small boy on his left. He called everyone "friend", seeing patient as a negative word. I tensed up. He couldn't have been more than 15.

"Let's go around and introduce ourselves." The doctor said, gaze shifting to each of us. I watched the boy closely, and he lifted his head up, eye's meeting mine. I felt my insides crumble at the sad, tired look on his face.

   "Mr. Tomlinson." I heard a voice urge, and I whipped my head up, meeting the gentle eye's of Dr. Clifford. He smiled softly at me, and I realized it was my turn to speak.

   "Oh, my name is Louis Tomlinson. I'm 21 and I've been staying here for about 5 month's now." He nodded in approval, glancing at the boy for a moment.

   "And how are you feeling after these last few month's? I've seen so much progress in you since you first arrived."

   "Honestly I'm feeling great. I still feel depressed sometime's but not as often....." I said, almost whispering the last part.

   "We take it head on day by day." I only nodded at his words, staring at my folded hand's until it came time for the boy to speak. He looked around timidly, being the youngest there.

   "My name is Andrew Hall. I'm 16 years old...." He mumbled, seeming bored with the situation. Dr. Clifford placed a large hand on his back.

   "And how are you feeling today Andrew?" The boy looked down, hiding his face, but I could see his lip's tremble.

   "Like I want to die..." The doctor began to speak to him, but I zoned out, remembering when I first came here. The only thing I had thought about was dying. That's all that filled my mine. Different scenarios of how I could pull it off always taunted me. But it was getting better. I realized now that I still had a purpose life. I had a passion. I had family. I had friend's. But there were always some days when my mind would drift back to the idea of dying, wondering if thing's would be better off. My common sense always drifted back though, pulling me into a reality where I knew that everyone I loved would be devastated if I so much as thought about hurting myself again.

***

   {HARRY'S POV}

   *December 4th 2014*

   It had been about two days since I heard the voice, and things were starting to run smoothly again. Actually, at the moment Nicole was taking me to the meeting room. I had a visitor. To say that I was excited was an understatement. Having people visit me was one of the few shining light's in this hell I was forced to live in.

   After leading me down the hall, she pointed what door I was supposed to enter . When I walked into the room, I was pulled into a tight hug.

   "Hi baby..." I heard my mum whisper in my ear, finger's brushing my hair back. I had my face buried in her shoulder, and my arm's wrapped securely around her.

   "Hi mum..." I mumbled against her neck. She swayed me back and forth gently, as if I were a little boy again. She led me over to a couch in the room, and sat us down. I had my head against her shoulder, and my leg's across her lap. I probably looked like a big baby, but I honestly didn't give a shit. All I wanted was my mum.

   "How are you?" She asked, looking down at me with a gentle smile. Someone else sat on the couch near my feet. Robin. He smiled warmly, clapping a hand on my knee.

   "How're you feeling bud?" I closed my eye's as my mum twirled my curl's in her finger's, humming softly. Tear's formed under my eyelid's, and I squeezed them tighter.

   "I want to go home...I hate it here." I whispered hoarsely, my voice cracking.

   "I know sweetie...But you can't right now." She said sadly, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

   'They'll never take you home. You're a freak of nature. A crazy psychopath.' I froze, eyes snapping open. Chill's went down my spine and I scrambled from my mum's lap, pushing myself into a nearby corner. My knee's pulled up to my chest, and my hands wrapped themselves protectively around my head.

   'They're scared of you. They think you're crazy. They wouldn't want to take something like you home with them.'

   "Harry?" I heard my mum ask carefully, and then I felt a soft hand on my arm. I flinched, and started shaking my head back and forth.

   "No no no no no no no....." I kept muttering, rocking myself back and forth. My head lifted up, and I saw my mum's wide, fearful eye's.

   'See ! She's terrified of you.' A sob ripped it's way from my throat, and I squeezed my eye's shut.

   "NO SHE'S NOT!!!" I screamed, sliding to my side on the floor. I curled up into the fetus position, fingernail's digging into my scalp. I started to sob uncontrollably, body shaking.

   "Robin get a nurse!" My mum pleaded, looking up at a wide eyed Robin standing above her. He ran out of the room, and she reached for me. I flinched away.

   "I'M SORRY!!! I'M SORRY!!!" I sobbed. She didn't pull back through and instead, pulled me up and into her arm's. Her hand's rubbed up and down my back, whispering soothing thing's into my ear's until I calmed down.

   "I'm sorry....I'm sorry....It's not me mum...It's not me I swear..." I kept whispering, eye's closed as my breathing was labored.

   "I know baby...I know... I love you so much. You're alright baby...." She said softly, trying to calm my trembling body.

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BECAUSE ANY WORLD WHERE I DON'T LOVE YOU IS A WORLD THAT DOESN'T EXIST.