✔️STRONG [L.S]

[29]

{HARRY'S POV}

   *December 4th, 2014*

   I woke up a few hour's later in my room. My empty, lonely, room...I sighed, pushing myself into a sitting position on my bed; the only thing that was in here. But as I sat there, my mind drifted back to my mum and dad...the fear in their eye's. Maybe...Maybe the voice was right. I was a freak of nature...No one could love me. But I knew someone that used to. A certain blue-eyed, feather-haired boy did. But I fucked all that up...Before I realized it, I had large tear's rolling off of my cheek's.

   "Louis!" I sobbed out, wrapping my arm's around my knee's. I just wanted someone to love me again, someone to hold me and help me through this hell. But I was alone. My shaking hand's ran through my hair, and I squeezed my eye's shut as my heart pounded painfully against my chest. I could feel and hear the beat of
it....Louis...Louis...Louis...Louis

   Most days I tried not to think of him, because the pain it brought me was unbearable. But on my bad day's like today, when I lashed out or screamed, he's the only thing I could think of...want...need. It probably doesn't seem like that, seeing as how I had treated him. But that wasn't me. It wasn't like I wanted to hit him or scream at him or...that. It was the Madness...I was sure that Louis was the only thing that kept me completely sane. If it wasn't for him, I don't even like to think about what would happen to me.
The thing that confused me the most though is that he stayed with me throughout everything...he...he forgave me.

   *Flashback*

   "I'm sorry Louis...I'm so sorry...." I whispered, burying my face in his shoulder. His finger's ran soothingly through my hair for a few minute's before he tapped my chin to get me to look at him.

   "It's okay....I forgive you......" He whispered. I choked on a sob as disbelief shocked my body.

   "Why...?" I breathed. His thumb's wiped at my tear's gently.

   "Because I love you....I could never hate you, or anything you do...You just...You just need some help is all. Maybe some anger management classes. But no matter what it is, we'll get through it together. I promise." I laid my hand's gently over top of his, the tear's flowing faster. I didn't deserve this man...

   "Louis Tomlinson...You are too good for me." He shook his head, sad blue eye's staring straight through me.

   "No Harry....If anything....You're too good for me. Like you said, I'm fat, ugly, stupid-" The word's that flowed from his mouth were like a stab to the heart. But I also felt angry. Angry that I made him feel like that. Me.

   "Stop saying those things!" Louis flinched, trying to pull his hand's from my face. I felt my eye's widen, and guilt hit me like a brick wall.

   "Oh my god Louis I'm sorry...." I whispered, pulling him gently into my chest. I felt terrible at how tense he was, how violently he was shaking. He was terrified of me...I gently rocked us back and forth, whispering in his ear as I tried to soothe him. But then I realized something.

"This is all his fault...." I growled quietly. Louis pulled back slightly, confusion in his eye's, but the fear still there.

"W-what?"

"Louis. You need to listen to me carefully. You have to believe me." I pleaded, hand's cupping his face gently. He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, nodding slowly. I glanced over my shoulder at the door, then brought my face inches from his, staring carefully into his eye's.

"There's this.....There's this voice in my head. He keep's making me do things that I don't want to do. He take's over and I just...I just lose control!.....It's not me Louis I swear! I'm not crazy!" Louis' eyes widened, and he pulled back just a little more, but I noticed.

"H-Harry? Are you okay?"

'He think's you're crazy.'

'No.'

'Face it Harry. He doesn't love you. He love's Eleanor. Everything that flow's from his mouth is a lie!' Something inside me snapped in that moment.

   "I thought you said you would listen. I thought you would believe me....." I whispered angrily to myself. I barely paid attention to his hand's trying to calm me.

   "Har-" My hand twitched by my side.

   'YES HARRY DO IT!!! HIT HIM!!'

   "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME!!!" I screamed, a loud slap echoing throughout the room. His head snapped to the side, and he slowly brought his gaze back to mine, mouth open in shock. A large red mark adorned his cheek, and I could see tear's welling slowly behind his eye's.

   "LOUIS!!!" I heard his mum scream. But I didn't care...All I could focus on was Louis. My hand's was shaking, but as I started to reach for him, Jay was pulling him from the bed, a look of horror on her face.

   'WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?!!' My hand's were shaking violently by this point, and I stared down at them in shock.

   "Louis that wasn't me.....it was the voice...." Louis pushed himself back into his mum's arm's, his dad wrapping them both in a tight, protective hug. My gaze caught Louis' and I held it until I felt a hand on my arm.

   "Harry it's time to go." My doctor said, dragging me from the room.

   "NO!!! LOUIS!!!THAT WASN'T ME!!! I SWEAR!!! IT WAS THE VOICE!!! THE MADNESS!!!" I tried to pull myself from his grip, but it was useless. Nurse's came running into the room, grabbing onto me, dragging me out the door.

   "I'M NOT CRAZY LOU!! PLEASE BELIEVE ME!!!! SOMEONE BELIEVE ME!!!!" I cried, watching the door get smaller and smaller.

   "Please..."

   *End of Flashback*

   But I WAS crazy. I DID need help. But most of all.....I needed Louis.

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BECAUSE ANY WORLD WHERE I DON'T LOVE YOU IS A WORLD THAT DOESN'T EXIST.