lost; ethma

six

song:
lights- ellie goulding

ethan

i walk outside into the hallway to see what else the movers have left to put in the apartment. when i step out of the doorway, i am not greeted by boxes or movers. my eyes meet hers.

emma.

she's standing in the doorway right across from mine. i can smell her unmistakable perfume from here. the scent is nice, but indescribable. it reminds me of the day she took me home from that stupid one night stand.

what an amazing first impression she had of me.

her hair is wet and she's wearing a big sweatshirt that's probably covering shorts. and her face is twisted into a look of shock and horror. from seeing me.

that's the worst part, knowing i am such a burden on emma and grayson. especially their relationship. i just find myself trying to do good things but end up getting in the way.

fuck. fuck fuck fuck. of course my luck brought me here. obviously i didn't know emma lived in this apartment, otherwise i wouldn't have chosen this place right across from her.

good job trying to stay as far away from her as possible.

"ethan?" my name comes out of her mouth and flies across the room, whizzing down the hallway. i can feel it fading out and leaving the building. my name floats out to oblivion along with my sanity.

what do i say? how do i fill the void of silence? how do i tell her that i didn't purposefully move across the hall from her?

"i- i didn't know you lived here," i say, louder than expected.

"oh."

did she think i tracked her down and stalked her or something?

emma turns around and scans her apartment quickly. then, she steps out into the hallway and shuts her door. we're now face to face, only two feet apart.

"you have to get inside your apartment," emma says sharply. cold air runs through my veins. i don't know her that well, but she scares me. in a way i've never known. women don't scare me, but somehow i always feel like a dumbass standing next to her.

"why-"

she cuts me off. "grayson is in there." she points to her apartment. my eyes widen and i go stiff.

i've really fucked up this time, haven't i?

"what the fuck do i do emma? he's gonna find out eventually, i might as well bite the bullet now."

"this isn't about you," she huffs. "grayson can find out another day, i just can't have him find out today."

both emma and i know that if grayson found out that i moved across the hall from her, he would probably set fire to the entire apartment. he's made it very clear that he wants emma to basically have a restraining order against me. i still havent figured that all out yet, or what it even means.

why is grayson so damn bothered to have me around emma?

"tell me what you want me to do," i say to her.

"get you and the movers inside your apartment with all your stuff. get them to unpack and listen for grayson to leave. when he's gone, i'll knock on the door three times."

"ok."

i sigh heavily as i walk into my new apartment that is somehow across the hall from my brother's girl.

—

emma

my hands won't stop shaking. i don't know what it is, the fact that i'll have to live across the hall from ethan for years to come or grayson will have to manage with it. for now, grayson just needs to leave my apartment.

i waved ethan off into his apartment and shut the door behind him. then i hurriedly went inside my apartment to see grayson sitting at the kitchen bar, eating a bowl of cereal.

"where'd you go? i figured you would join me in the shower to continue where we left off," he says playfully. not now, grayson. not in the mood.

"oh, uh, i thought there was a package outside," i say nervously. "there wasn't."

"oh," he says with his mouth full.

"i hate to break it to you, but i think you're going to have to go home soon. olivia wants me to meet her at urth for lunch at.." i look at my phone to see it's currently 1:46. "she wants me to meet her at 2." i say this knowing that olivia doesn't get off work until at least 4.

a complete lie.

grayson's face falls. suddenly i'm overwhelmed with a wave of guilt, and it almost feels like i'm secretly blowing him off for his brother. it's not true, i keep telling myself. he just can't know where ethans apartment is.

grayson looks up from his cereal on the table to the door. my heart freezes. please, not ethan. no, no, no. i told him to stay in his damn apartment.

i can hear the door knob move and the door slowly opens, revealing... not ethan.

olivia. which isn't much better, considering i'm supposed to be meeting her at lunch in 15 minutes. please god, don't let grayson catch on to my lies.

"hey!" olivia chirps. grayson looks at her and smiles. i cant help but wonder why she's home so early from work. i'm too scared to ask because i don't want her saying anything to make grayson believe she's not going to lunch with me.

realizing her phone is sitting in her hand, i text her.

just go with it.

her phone dings and she gets a little startled from it. i laugh to myself.

i watch her read the text and look up at me. now is my chance.

"so, we're going in the same car i'm guessing?" i ask, sheer anxiety laced in my tone. please say yes.

"sure!" she beams.

"okay well i'm not sure about you, but i'm ready to go. i'm really sorry for kicking you out like this gray." i say, looking over at grayson pitifully. olivia stays silent, probably unsure of what's going on.

"yeah, i was just about to head out. bye emma, love you." he says and walks over to give me a quick kiss on the cheek. i lean into it and grin.

i watch as grayson walks out of my door and down the hallway. thankfully, ethan has still remained in his apartment.

once grayson is out of eyesight, i knock on ethan's door three times, just as promised. then, i hurriedly run back into my apartment and slam the door. i back up against it and rest my head.

"what the fuck was that?" olivia asks.

"e-ethan," i spit out.

"ethan what?? ethan's coming over?" she says.

"NO! no."

"then what is it?"

"ethan lives across the hall from us now. i cant have grayson find out yet. he needed to leave," i mutter.

i open my front door to see ethan, shirtless, covered in sweat, moving heavy boxes into the apartment. i glance over at olivia and we make eye contact.

"see what i mean?" i growl, slamming the apartment door.

this is gonna be hell on earth.