lost; ethma

seven

song:
make me cry- fox academy

ethan

it's been about five days since i've moved into emma's apartment building. grayson somehow still doesn't know. everyday either emma leaves to go to his place or he shows up here. i am usually always in my kitchen out of fear of running into him.

i've seen this kid liam come over to emma's place a few times, and i've always assumed it was olivia or amanda's flavor of the month. maybe both, i don't judge.

but just yesterday was when i ran into him. my heart almost fell out of my ass because i thought it was grayson at first. similar build and hair color. i introduced myself and he immediately thought i was grayson. i briefly explained to him the situation, so now he knows all my issues summed up into cliff notes.

to make a short story even shorter, liam is coming over tonight to watch baseball and drink beer with me. he briefly mentioned bringing the girls over since we're so close, and i just nodded my head in silence.

i was hoping 'the girls' didn't include emma. i was also hoping she might have plans with grayson tonight.

i walk out into my kitchen to come to the realization that my apartment is a disgusting mess. i think of my mom and how disappointed she would be, calling this place a pigsty. i cant help but feel the twinge of missing her. even though she's only 45 minutes away, it feels like i will never see her again in my lifetime. i don't really know how i feel about that either.

in thought of her, i start to move boxes and clean up leftover pizza boxes from the counter.

i take the overfilled trash bag out into the hallway, apparently at the same time as olivia. she has a giant white garbage bag in her hand, and she doesn't seem too thrilled this morning.

i smile. "morning."

"must be going in the same direction?" olivia asks blankly, holding up her trash bag.

"yup," i nod. "where's emma?"

she points to her door. "there."

"probably with grayson if i'm being honest," i say.

"nope, he's not over there yet," she says. "what's going on with you two? are you like the evil twin or something?"

"no, but i am to him. and apparently emma," i answer.

"you seem fine to me," she states with a monotoned voice.

we stay in silence while walking down the hallway until olivia speaks up. "honestly, i'm rooting for you. don't tell emma," she laughs.

"don't worry, emma doesn't speak to me." i look down. it shouldn't affect me as much as it does.

"weird," she says.

"so which one of you has a thing for that liam kid? we've become acquaintances since he's been sneaking over to your apartment almost nightly."

"well, emma has grayson, and amanda is set single by default, so i guess you could say it's me," she looks away.

"honestly, you two seem like an unexpected but good match. i'm happy for you," i smile.

"we aren't really a 'match', but thanks. he's a better person than he lets on," olivia says. just by talking about liam, her mood is increasing.

good for her. it's hard to find a healthy balance with hardly any obstacles.

we both approach the trash chute and dump our garbage bags in. it's actually quite a haul to take our trash from both of our apartments.

i am enjoying talking to olivia though. it seems nice to have her as a friend, or, a neighbor per say.

"so is your apartment the one that liam is going to tonight?" olivia asks.

"yep, we're having beer and watching baseball. you can come if you want," i say.

"i'm always down for beer. also, liam invited me and amanda, so she should be coming too. that is, if you don't mind."

"i don't care whatsoever."

"ooh!" olivia shrieks in the empty hallway just as we're approaching our apartments. "you should totally hook up with amanda. she needs a boyfriend badly."

i shift my feet awkwardly and look down. amanda? no thanks. i'm not having emma hate me more than she already does.

"no offense to amanda, but i think i'm gonna sit this one out. i don't want to stir up any more trouble with grayson by hooking up with his girlfriend's bestie."

"understandable," she shrugs. "it's just, amanda is always so invested in our lives and relationships that i think it would be good for her to have one of her own. you know, so she could focus on herself."

sounds like a bitch to me. i decide not to think too much about it though.

i hear footsteps in the hallway and as i turn around, it's as if it all happens in slow motion.

grayson. grayson coming to visit emma.

he looks at me. then at olivia. then back at me.

"nice.." he mutters angrily. no. no. no. he doesn't think-

"NO!" both olivia and i yell at the same time. he thinks were sleeping together. i look like a fucking dick right now.

"grayson, i have to explain something to you," i say. he looks at me with pure annoyance in his eyes.

"olivia, go inside. i'll talk to him out here," grayson spits. olivia casually walks inside her apartment and closes the door, leaving grayson staring at me with rage in his eyes.

"i- i moved here. it was the only apartment building other than yours that was nice. i had no idea where emma lived before i moved here and i sure as hell didn't know i'd be living across the hall from her-"

"across the fucking HALL?" grayson cuts me off.

"gray, it was an accident!" i yell. "i have tried to obey your damned rule about me not being near her but there's nothing i can do about this."

"move. out," he roars.

"i cant." he looks at me dead in the eyes. "i signed a one-year contract," i say.

we stare at each other out of pure rage for a moment before we're interrupted.

it's emma, opening the door. she looks at me. "what the hell is going on eth-" then her eyes meet grayson's.

she takes a step back and her posture immediately slumps. she looks down to the floor.

"so you knew?" grayson asks simply.

dumbass.

"uh, yeah, i saw him moving."

he sighs deeply. "it's okay. i'm gonna move past it. you two have fun living together."

and with that, grayson turns around and walks down the hallway and into the elevator, leaving me and emma to just look at each other in an awkward silence.