lost; ethma

eleven

song:
all i want- kodaline

| when you said your last goodbye
i died a little bit inside |

emma

a few days later

i'm just getting home from class and a daily run to philz. i'm fumbling with my keys as i see ethan leave his apartment.

"hey," he says.

"hey."

that's about all that is ever exchanged between us. it's about all that can be exchanged between us. hellos and goodbyes.

i watch him as he walks down the hallway and into the elevator.

i sigh to myself.

why couldn't all of us just be friends? me, grayson, amanda, olivia, liam, and ethan. hell, even amelia. though ethan seemed like he wanted to kill her the other night.

i love grayson, i just don't understand his problem with ethan. he never acts like this.

i open my door to see grayson waiting seemingly impatiently on my couch.

"hey baby," i say. usually it isn't a shock to see him over here when his class ends earlier than mine.

"hey." his cold tone sends chills down my spine. something isn't right.

i ignore it, and walk over to him. i climb on top of his lap and straddle him. he looks up at me and smiles. i lean in and kiss him for a few seconds, then he gently removes me from his lap.

i scoff. "what the fuck? i was having fun," i run my fingers down his chest and he looks over at me.

"maybe it would be more fun if you didn't constantly lie to me."

my chest freezes. god, please don't let this be what i think it is.

he found out. about me going over to ethan's RIGHT after i promised him i would never interact with him.

"grayson..." i say.

"don't," he spits. "don't do this. i just want to get straight to the point."

i move further away from him. he breaks eye contact with me and looks down, fidgeting with his hands.

"w-what?"

"i'm not even mad," grayson says. "i'm really not."

"listen, you don't understand the full situation-"

"no, YOU listen emma," he yells, causing me to flinch. "i feel like i've lost all of your trust."

"you haven't lost anything!" i exclaim.

"apparently i lost you."

no, no, no. this cant be happening. i won't accept it.

"please," i say helplessly. he only just looks over at me.

"it's not that i think you and ethan are doing anything behind my back," he says. "i just don't like how you still manage to somehow see him after you promised me that you wouldn't."