𝐖𝐓𝐅 | bts crackfic ✔️

twen t for✨

request by ClaraPaige ✨

all the guys were sleeping soundly until there was a loud crash.

"hyung, what was that?" jungkook whispered, lightly shaking jin.

"my sparkly ass crack. now shut the fuck up and go to bed, teletubby headass." he groaned, rolling over.

jungkook let out a shaky breath, sinking farther under his covers while looking frantically around the room. "f-fuck.."

more shuffling was heard down stairs. jungkook squeezed his eyes shut. "this is a dream. this is a dream. this is a dream.." he chanted.

a big boom suddenly erupted causing everybody to wake up.

"WH-" before yoongi could yell and scream, namjoon quickly covered his mouth, holding his finger to his lips.

"there's someone in the house.." namjoon whispered.

jimin took off his sleeping mask. "no fucking shit sherlock."

"WE ARE UNDER ATTACKKKKK. ABORT MISSION I REPEAT ABORT MISSION. ABORT ABORT." taehyung yelled, shooting up from his bed.

then the shuffling stopped, the house going dead silent. that is, until heavy footsteps we're going up the stairs.

"I CANT DIE NOW! WHAT ABOUT MY KIDS?" hobi cried.

namjoon looked at him. "you don't have kids??"

"NAMJOON IM TALKING ABOUT MY KIDS IN THE FUTURE." hobi continued to cry.

jin was holding his chest. "we're going to fucking die. i knew this day was gonna come soon. DEAR BURGLAR, COME TAKE US NOW."

jungkook's eyes widened. "aRe YoU fUcKinG cRaZy??!?!"

the footsteps were coming closer to their door. hoseok held onto seokjin's leg.

"JIN! LETS DIE TOGETHER!" hobi yelled.

"I RATHER NOT BUT OKAY!" jin yelled back, holding his fist in the air.

before they could touch the door, the sound of something being hit was heard.

"TAKE THAT YOU BASTARD. AAAAND THAT. HAHA! ANDTHAT, ANDTHAT, ANDTHAT!"

the seven guys went over to the door, peeking out. the sight that was right before their eyes was a random girl beating a man with a bat, a rubber ducky duct taped to the tip.

the man was groaning in pain but the girl was beating the shit out of him.

"ILL BREAK YOUR FUCKING TAILBONE IF I HAVE TO!" she yelled.

"damn..." jungkook let out.

the girl suddenly looked up. "oop-hi i'm clara. just thought it would be cool to beat this guy senseless. don't mind me."

"uh yeah we won't." namjoon waved at her and closed the door. he sighed and climbed back in bed.

"um..what the fuck are you doing?" jimin asked.

"not minding her?"

this is the last update for today! stand by for your request when i come back tomorrow!!