𝐖𝐓𝐅 | bts crackfic ✔️

thrice

"Yo bitch."

"It's pronounced "Almighty Dicc Seokjin" to you." Jin informed Taehyung.

Tae looked at him. "Ew in your dreams Jin hyung."

"What he's saying isn't fictional, Tae." Namjoon walked by.

"What..." Tae looked confused. "oH-"

~

"Daddy!" Jimin yelled.

"The quack?" Jungkook gave Jimin a judgmental stare.

"Bitch look my father is on T.V.!" Jimin pointed.

Yoongi layed on the floor. "Phew. I thought your ass was kinky for a sec."

Jimin turned his head towards the man on the ground. "Who said I wasn't kinky?"

"oH-" Yoongi's eyes fell out of his sockets.

Jungkook did his infamous head tilt. "What's kinky?"

Yoongi's eyeball wigs flew to Antarctica at this point. "OH-"

~

"Hellooo! My name is Jung Hoseok! What would you like to order today?" Hobi asked a customer at Chick-Fil-A.

"Go fuck yourself." The customer grumbled.

Hobi looked baffled. "Excuse me-"

The customer rolled his eyes. "I said go fuck yourself, dickhead."

Hobi began to tear up. "I-I-I-"

"JOHNNNNNN CENA!" Yelled Namjoon as he flew through the entrance and body slammed the rather rude customer. "Damn, I always wanted to do that."

"I'm-I'm gonna sue you..." The man under Namjoon groaned.

"Oh your name is Sue Yu? Nice to meet you! My name is Kim Namjoon." Namjoon smiled and held his hand out for a hand shake while he continued to sit on the customer.

"fuck off..."

Namjoon shrugged. "Welp I tried being nice."

"T-thanks joon." Hoseok stuttered.

"No prob hob, jus doin' da job." Namjoon winked.