𝐖𝐓𝐅 | bts crackfic ✔️

fordy four

"LeMmE sHoW yOu WhAt yOuRe MiSsIn, PaRaDiSe~"

"SHUT UP PEASANT!" jin yelled with a towel wrapped around his head.

namjoon's eyes widened. "that wasn't me, it was jamnoon."

yoongi squinted. "who the hell-"

namjoon bit his lip. "it wasn't me i SWEAR."

"DONT FUCKING SWEAR IN THIS HOUSEHOLD BITCH-" jin screamed, wrapping his towel around namjoon's neck.

"*choke* *choke* *choke*" namjoon choked.

the reflection of hell flashed in seokjin's eyes. "TRY FUCKING SWEARING AGAIN WHORE. T R Y." the man under him flailed around. "die a slow and painful death, please."

-

"so, namjoon's dead."

jungkook turned to hali. "like...ded?"

"yes ded."

"like...ded ded?" the boy asked, tilting his head.

"y-"

"hali i'm right here what the fock-" namjoon interrupted.

"ah...it's like i can hear his ghost.."

-

yoongi scoffed. "i said suck my big ass dick."

jimin stood up. "how the hell can you say that with an expressionless face- it should be like, i SAID SUCC MY B I G A S S D I C C."

"stop fucking talking about dicks before i chop both of yours off and sell them as vienna sausages, extra small." hobi rolled his eyes.

"jesus- who stepped on your dick?"

-

jungkook stood on the table. "listen here hoes, i'm a man now-"

yoongi laughed. "yes, a man with a tiny pp."

"WGAT THE FUCDUCI-"

"LMAO KOOK, HE CAUGHT YOU BY THE BALLZ!" hali wheezed.

"shit dawg i laughed." jimin snorted.

hoseok slapped the table. "ayeeeee same pfffffft."

"JUNGKOOKIE HAZ LEETLE PP AHHHHH SUCKS TO BE YOU HOMEBOI!" jin hollered.

namjoon ripped his wig off. "SIKE BITCHES IM BALD!"

the room fell silent.

"what."

it's been ten days :(( i hope i wasn't gone too long,,,,anyway, if you couldn't already tell, this chapter was pulled out from the sewers. i can't tell wtf has been going with me or my brain but for some odd ass reason i can't come up with the same content i used to. which makes me a bit mad because like i want to continue making a lot of chapters???? and work my way all the way to 80 chapters????? idk ig i've been under some stress after moving schools like five times. nO i'm not a troublemaker i swear man. it's complicated but oh whale. hopefully i see you guys soon!!

c ya🥺🦵