𝐖𝐓𝐅 | bts crackfic ✔️

twen t nyne pt. 3 (pp)

"hyung, we gotta explore. we just gotta!" taehyung stated.

"do we tho?" yoongi asked.

taehyung smirked. "i'll give you an extra pillow if you explore with me."

"LETS GO HOMEBOI!"

-

"holy shit it's dark outside.." yoongi said, accidentally bumping into something.

tae snickered. "what? is mr. min scared?"

"yOU WANNA DIE?" yoongi threatened, holding his fist up.

"oh yes he does~" a faint female voice rang through the air. this scared both men shitless and they blindly ran in opposite directions.

-

"y-yah! taehyung-ah! where are you?" yoongi called out. "it's scary out here.."

he suddenly tripped over a vine. "why the fuck is this garden so huge anyway?" he looked at what he tripped on, and his face paled.

"hOLY SHIT IS THAT A WHOLE ASS NAKED BLOODY DEAD BODY OMG HOLY NAMJESUS CHRIST." yoongi screeched, not fainting because getting the hell out of there was top priority.

so poor mr. min tried to run as fast as his legs could go, away from the terrible sight.

-

"it's not everyday you get to get lost in a big ass garden at 10pm." taehyung said to himself, heading towards a shed. "maybe that coward is hiding in here."

he struggled to open the door, putting all his weight into it. the door suddenly bursted open, giving tae a small heart attack.

"yahhh, why is it so dusty around here? don't they ever clean up?" taehyung commented, looking around the shed.

he picked up an old book and opened it.

whoever finds this, you must leave now. there's...something odd about this resort. something is haunting these walls, this area. i think it's the possessed-

the page was unfinished, only drops of blood taking the next parts place.

taehyung scoffed. "this is probably just some middle school prank. leave now? pffft this place is awesome!"

"taehyungie~ ah~ mm~ why don't you give me a good licc? hmm?"

"WHAT THE BAJESUS'S ASS CHEEKS WAS THAT? LICC? THE HELL? IM GONNA SKIDADDLE DOODLE!" he screamed, running out of the old shed.

-

the two dimwads were running at full speed. they were running so fast they bumped into eachother.

yoongi squeezed his eyes shut. "AHHHHHHHVDKSKSSJOW."

taehyung was crying. "AHHHHHHAHEIDJDKDJEKOEDJNDKSOE-oh it's you."

"t-there was a-a d-d-d-d-"

taehyung tilted his head. "dick?"

"DEAD BODY." then he fainted.

taehyung's mouth dropped. "oh my pb&j-"

-

hali groaned. "jungkook stop touching me or i'll break all of your fingers." the hand continued to roam her arm, irritating hali even more. "i said stop fucking touching me, or else i will kung fu your ass-" she turned over, only to be greeted by the empty spot on the bed. her eyes widened.

jungkook stepped out of the bathroom, a towel being the only thing on him. "did you say something hali?"

she faked a smile. "i said i like kung fu panda, do you?"

jungkook shrugged. "it's ight."

hali pressed her lips together and nodded, turning over and covering herself with the duvet. "what the fuck..."

-

"aH~ daddy!"

namjoon shot up. "jin i'm in the fucking room-huh?" he got up but jin was no where to be found. "hyung?"

he stepped out of the room, searching for the older. "jin? you good?"

"ah! peasant!"

"HOLY FUCK!" namjoon exclaimed, falling backwards, knocking a vase over. he clutched his chest.

jin eyed him. "the fuck is wrong with you? all i did was address you by your real name and you out here lookin like you saw a motha truckin ghost!" he shook his head. "...boo!"

"AHHODODJD-"

"god damn you lost your balls bro." jin said and laughed.

namjoon scoffed. "you think there's something wrong with me? bitch why the fuck were you moaning and groaning in bed??"

"moaning and groaning? hoe, i was out here making a god damn sandwich, don't you fucking blame me for something that don't got anything to do with me! hMpH!" jin growled turning around.

-

"hey, what's up you guys! yes!-"

"oh yes zaddy!~"

hobi paused the video, sweating. "w-was that a snake?"

jimin scrunched up his face. "no, you dumb sunshine bitch. what kind of snake says zaddy-"

"me hoe~" a demonic voice spoke.

jimin jumped ten feet into the air. "OHMYGODWTFFFJDKSJJSJDKSKSJDHDKWOWO."

hobi just shook vigorously.

-

"D-DEAD BODY AND A THIRSTY ASS B-BITCH WHO WANTS SOME!" taehyung yelled, rushing into the living room with a unconscious yoongi in his hands.

"what?" namjoon asked.

"t-there was a dead body joon. a-and i heard s-some lady saying s-she wanted me to l-lick her." taehyung spoke, his teeth jittering as he spoke.

"dead body?" jin dropped his sandwich.

"ARE YOU JUST GOING TO FUCKING DISREGARD THE FACT THAT SOME RANDOM ASS LADY WANTED ME TO STICK MY HANDSOME TONGUE INTO HER??????????????"