"if you talk enough sense, then you'll lose your mind"
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today was the day. today was the day steve got to spend time with bucky. he felt nervous, the most nervous he'd ever been his whole life. thank god he finished at 3pm today, he pondered on what bucky was planning, why did a boy like james buchanan barnes want to spend a second of his spare time with a boy like steven grant rogers? steve would kill himself if he asked himself that any further than he already does. he wished he could just embrace it. he was so scared.
the day went by slowly. as if somebody had put steve's brain in slow motion. peggy was tired, the shop was busy and hot. it felt like hours until it reached only 12pm. he was growing impatient, pacing behind the till and arranging packages. he wanted to see bucky, hear his voice, see his face when he laughed. steve was so incredibly captivated by bucky's overwhelming presence.
steve was worried bucky forgot about him during the day, he hadn't been in for his sunflowers at all. steve tapped his bony fingers on the till desk and sighed. "chin up, sunshine. it's only two. another hour and you'll see him, okay?" peggy tucked her fingers underneath steve's chin and looked at him.
steve sighed heavily, looking down at the floor with his arms folded across his chest. he didn't know why it was bothering him, the desperateness he felt to see bucky, he felt like he needed too. he hated it.
the shop was quiet until the familiar door bell rang above the frame as he walked in. "you finished, stevie? you look dashing today" bucky didn't even offer steve a hello, seemingly as eager to get out of the shop. steve could not help but beam widely. "thank you, as do you" steve looked at peggy from the stock room, she was out of bucky's sight as she signalled a "shoo" with her hand. he turns back to bucky. "i'm ready to go" he offered him a warm smile before throwing on his large jacket.
the walk was quiet, a peaceful sunset walk through the busy brooklyn streets. bucky by his side made it better than usual. steve couldn't help but swap quick looks with bucky as he smiled, all he wanted to do was look at him.
bucky wrapped his arm swiftly around steve's shoulder, hanging around his neck as if they were pals on a school field as they walked. "now steve, i want to show you somewhere special. i only take people here when they are special to me. i also don't have a lot of money so it will have to do" his voice was loud above the busy streets and cyclists passing them on the sidewalk. he held steve close to him as they walked, not like he was in love with him. but like he wanted to keep him safe. steve was small, incredibly small. he needed to be careful with himself. bucky stood tall above steve, towered him in every way shape and form.
steve didn't notice the small basket swaying in bucky's other hand as they walked, it was a picnic basket. steve blushed at the sentiment.
bucky bantered with steve back and forth, making steve laugh more than he ever had before. it made steve feel dizzy, the way he felt was something unfamiliar to him. he didn't know how to deal with it. he really wanted too, though. the pair came to a forest path next to a road clearing, bucky told him his apartment was near so he knew exactly where the path was. bucky showed steve the way to a beautiful grass view point. steve thought it was a lot for the first time they were spending time together alone. although bucky had made him comfortable, he felt like he could throw up at any minute from anxiety and he prayed he wouldn't.
"we're here!" bucky exclaimed as he motioned his hands at the overview of the city. steve stared in awe as bucky layed the red and white checkered picnic blanket beneath him. "please, sit" bucky patted the spot next to him where steve proceeded to place himself. "thank you, bucky. this is really sweet." steve smiled, sitting with his hands together, nervously crossing his legs. "i'm not going to hurt you steve, take some cola, i promise you it isn't poisoned" bucky winked as he pulled an ice cooled glass bottle from the basket. he opened both bottle tops with his teeth and handed one to steve.
"thank you, thank you so much" steve found himself stumbling over his words before finally clearing his throat. "so, what made you bring me here?" steve rubbed his hands together as he questioned bucky. "i want to know about you steve, and not about your job. i want to know about what you like, your favourite colour, your favourite food and song and scent and feeling. i'm interested, and i don't just take any pretty boy up here, y'know? consider yourself oh so lucky, rogers" bucky smiled as he spoke, he oozed with an overwhelming confidence. it still confused steve as to why he would ever be interested in him, because steve was surely captivated by bucky.
"well, i'm not all that interesting. i have a cat named socks, i listen to jazz classics on my vinyl player. i practice art in my spare time" steve's nervous voice was quiet. he liked when bucky could hear his voice, he liked when bucky spoke back. none of it fully felt real to steve. "art?" bucky raised an eyebrow. "you'll have to show me some time, buttercup" he placed a hand on steve's shoulder and smiled.
"well, actually. i carry my small sketchbook with me, it should be in my jacket pocket, if you don't want to see it, it's okay" steve rummaged through the jacket he had thrown beside his spot on the blanket. "of course i want to see" bucky smiled as steve pulled the small notebook out. "h-here" steve handed it to him hesitantly. bucky took it from him lightly before flipping through the charcoal covered pages. sketches of the city lights from steve's bedroom window, studies of his cat and portrait practices of peggy and reminisce pieces of his mother from old photographs. bucky was in awe of steve's incredible talent. steve was nervously sipping on his cola before bucky reached the last page. the most recent sketch steve drew was the one of his and bucky's first encounter. bucky smiled.
"that's me, huh?" bucky pointed at the tall silhouette steve drew above himself on the dark brooklyn streets. steve gulped his cola scarcely. "i think so, if it was you. i bumped into you a couple of nights ago. you scared me" steve softly smiled. "seems like i still do by the sign of your shaking hands, rogers" bucky giggled.
it was a good kind of nervous this time, it was a kind of nervous that steve wanted to feel forever.
"i told you everything about me, i'm a sargeant off duty and i only have my grandmother, but you don't seem to have anyone steve. i hope you know you have me now" bucky looked at steve, placing his hand on his shoulder again. they pass a soft smile between one another.
the two talked until sunset. sharing jokes and stories that they hadn't told anybody else before. it was something steve could quickly get used too, it's a feeling he felt high from.
for once in his life, steve rogers wasn't worrying about the shop, he wasn't worrying about his illness. he wasn't worrying about anything else.
steve was no longer worrying when bucky was in front of him.
