The Other Side Of Fear[1]

Chapter 18

Warning: This chapter contains scenes of gaslighting. Should anyone feel affected by this or have anything they want to talk about regarding this please feel free to message me. If you would like some more information on what gaslighting is and how it occurs then also feel free to message me and ask.

I avoided Archie like the black plague as much as I could until the end of school on Friday finally came. I had darted from classes early claiming to be feeling unwell and skipped lunch; I had even avoided the girls in case he was with them. I had received several texts from him asking where I was and also from Tiffany seeing if I was okay. She had witnessed a smaller confrontation between Archie and I before it had gotten worse and I knew she was suspicious something was happening between us.

I ran from the school gates and spotted my brother at the bus stop. I tried to turn quickly to head home but he spotted me and waved. Not wanting to be near school in case Archie came out and saw me, I debated on the spot about whether or not to just ignore Riley and keep walking but he was already pacing over to me.

'Are you taking the bus?' he asked.

'Riley, you know I prefer walking,' I told him, glancing around.

'Are you okay?' he frowned. 'You're acting weird.'

'Yeah, fine,' I nodded quickly. 'I just really want to get home.'

'Oh yeah, you're going to that party tonight aren't you?' he questioned.

'What party?' I asked.

'The party tonight that all of the seniors are going to,' he said. 'My friends were talking about it. Their brothers are going to be there...I just assumed...'

'Yeah, exactly,' I nodded. 'So I really need to get home and get ready or I'll be late for the party so...bye!'

I spun quickly and paced away, not glancing back at my school or my brother. Once I got through town and close to my neighbourhood I calmed down and slowed my pace.

I caught my breath and strolled towards my house, deep in thought. What was going on with me? I was sneaking around and acting withdrawn and feeling alone. I had never in my life felt threatened or intimidated or controlled by anyone. Now, I had somehow began to sink underneath the ocean that was Archie and all of his compliments and affection and charm. He had pulled me right in and I had opened myself up to it. Now I was sinking right under and I felt heavy and weighted; like I couldn't get back to the surface.

Like I had told myself from the start, I just had to get through final year and leave this town. I would never have to see Archie again and until then I just had to avoid him and make sure I didn't end up alone with him. It was easy to stop that from happening in school; I just had to make sure I went straight to class and stayed with a friend at all times. Other than that, I would stay at home and focus on my studies and refrain from socialising. The party tonight for example, I would not be attending. I had forgotten all about it and about Archie's "permission" for me to go. I was starting to feel pretty disappointed in myself for letting things go this far with the way he was treating me.

I pushed the thoughts of Archie out of my head that were starting to really make me feel anxious and turned onto my drive to quickly lock myself away in the safety of my home. Only now even my own home wasn't a safe place for me anymore, as I realised this instantly when I saw Archie sat on my front steps.

'What are you doing here?' I asked slowly, as I stopped dead on my driveway.

'Waiting for you,' he stood to his feet.

He kept his eyes everywhere but me, glancing around the street and down at his feet and up at the sky. His avoidance was hard to read. I wasn't sure if it was shame at the way he had treated me or a way of stopping himself getting angrier at me ignoring him.