The Other Side Of Fear[1]

Chapter 41

This was my favourite chapter to write so far - hope you like it💜

I sat in the school library with my laptop, my notebooks surrounding me and my battered copy of To Kill a Mockingbird highlighted and annotated to death. It was my free period and I was finally starting the final essay for English; to discuss the concept of fear as presented in the novel. It was a topic that hit very close to home for me. Fear is the main theme throughout the novel and I decided to write a comparative essay about the children's initial fear of Boo Radley compared to their later fear of Bob Ewell.

I myself, had initially been attached to the town's judgements against Cal and let myself fear him as a result of rumours. Fear truly revealed itself to me when life introduced me to Archie and had shown me the true person Cal was. I couldn't help but relate my own story to Jem and Scouts from the novel; Boo Radley was feared due to down right ignorance, all too similarly to Cal and as a result it bred prejudice until the whole town felt it. Fear is so infectious and the characters in the book are all affected by each other's fears in many of the same ways that I have witnessed in Leiper Falls.

'Hi,' my thoughts were disrupted my a quiet voice beside me.

I glanced up to see April smiling apologetically at me.

'Sit,' I stated, turning back to my laptop as she sat across from me.

'Look,' she began. 'I only told Cal that Archie was there that night because I was worried.'

'You don't have to explain yourself,' I said as I scanned over my introductory paragraph.

'You're not mad?' she asked in a surprised tone.

'No,' I shook my head before moving my eyes to hers. 'You didn't do it maliciously and in fact, things worked out. Because Cal showed up, I saw that Archie's 'apology' was all an act and I managed to figure things out with Cal.'

'So, what you're saying is...I fixed everything?' she asked with a smirk.

'I wouldn't put it that way,' I giggled. 'Anyway, things are shitty again. I was at Cal's place and my parents turned up and practically dragged me away. I'm forbidden from seeing him.'

'Forbidden,' she laughed. 'They can't forbid you from seeing anyone.'

'They'll send me to live with my aunt if they catch me with him,' I said.

'So, don't get caught,' she smiled.

'Hard to do when your Mom works at your school and is ready waiting to drive you home at the end of every fucking day,' I said with a roll of my eyes.

'Have you tried explaining to her how you feel?' she asked.

'I told her that I'm in love with him,' I said quickly, as I edited my text and suddenly paused, realising that I had forgotten who I was talking to. 'You did not hear me just say that, okay?'

'Oh my god,' she stated as her mouth gasped open in a smug smirk. 'I knew it!'

'Shhh!' I frowned. 'It doesn't matter anyway. I've applied to Columbia now and if I get in I'll be leaving town for good.'

'Does Cal know?' she asked.

'He doesn't seem to care,' I shrugged. 'I mean I told him I could go somewhere closer and he told me to go to Columbia so...I'm not sure what's up with that but it's obvious he isn't desperate for me to stay.'